


Know Me Well

by patchworkct



Series: One Love, Two Idiots [1]
Category: Free!
Genre: Anal Fingering, Awkward Tachibana Makoto, Blow Jobs, Demisexuality, First Dates, First Kiss, First Time, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Friends to Lovers, Haru being Haru, Hurt/Comfort, I don't even know anymore, I'll just keep adding tags, Idiots in Love, Light Angst, M/M, Nagisa being Nagisa, Olympics, Pining, Porn With Plot, Questioning Sexuality, Shower Sex, Slow Burn, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-17
Updated: 2020-11-22
Packaged: 2021-03-02 22:54:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 42,114
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24224647
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/patchworkct/pseuds/patchworkct
Summary: "This couldn’t happen now — not when Haru was right there in the other room. As happy as he was to have Haru back for three weeks, he dreaded having to keep himself together. Haru couldn’t know about this — whatever this was. "Haru visits Makoto in Tokyo after traveling the world as a professional swimmer, but new complicated feelings threaten to alter their friendship. Makoto is not about to let that happen.
Relationships: Hazuki Nagisa/Ryuugazaki Rei, Matsuoka Rin/Yamazaki Sousuke, Nanase Haruka/Tachibana Makoto, Past Nanase Haruka/Albert Wåhlander, Shigino Kisumi/Shiina Asahi
Series: One Love, Two Idiots [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2072616
Comments: 36
Kudos: 224





	1. Welcome Home

Makoto sat in an uncomfortable plastic chair at the arrivals gate, trying to listen to the garbled airport announcements about the incoming flights. The Tokyo airport was bustling, and his knee bounced as he checked the time again. The plane was late.

Haru texted him half an hour ago telling him he had landed, but there must have been a delay on the runway or maybe he was held up at baggage claim—what if Haru lost his bag?! He would go berserk if his swimsuits got lost in the air.

_No, Makoto. You’re worrying too much again,_ he said to himself.

Just as he was about to check his watch for the fifth time, a stream of tired people filed off the escalator. Makoto stood up and wandered toward them, searching their faces for a familiar head of black hair and striking blue eyes.

The stream of travelers thinned, and he was ready to turn back to his seat, but on the farthest set of escalators, he spotted him. Haru’s hair was cut shorter than usual, and his eyes were unfocused, staring blankly ahead. His backpack hung off his shoulder as he slouched against the escalator railing. It must have been a long flight.

Makoto raced to him, uncaring of the way the other people stared, and enveloped Haru in the biggest bear hug of all time.

“I can’t believe you’re actually here,” Makoto said, squeezing his best friend and rocking from side to side.

“Makoto—you’re crushing me,” Haru wheezed.

“Ah! Sorry,” he said, loosening his grip a bit, but still not letting go.

Haru sighed and dropped his bag to circle his arms around his waist.

“Welcome home,” Makoto said, check pressed to the top of his head.

“I’m home,” Haru replied.

Haru shut his eyes and swayed on his feet. _He must be super jet lagged,_ Makoto realized. Tentatively he released his friend and picked up his luggage.

“How was America?” Makoto asked.

“Fine. The pools were big there,” he said.

On their Skype meets, Haru didn’t talk about the sights of the places he visited much, as he was mainly focused on swimming. Bouncing from tournament to tournament, Haru practically lived out of his suitcase, but he was living his dream. He was really taking the world by storm, which made Makoto so proud but also a bit sad. He wished Haru would come home more often, but he planned to make the best out of his visit now.

“Everyone is so excited to see you. Nagisa is planning a brunch for you on Sunday, if that’s okay,” he said.

Haru didn’t particularly like parties or being the center of attention, but Makoto was relieved when Haru’s mouth upturned slightly.

“Yeah.”

“Good! Now let’s get you home. You look dead on your feet,” he said.

“I’m not tired,” Haru pouted and then proceeded to yawn and rub his eyes.

Makoto chuckled, “Sure.”

Makoto’s apartment was small like any other Tokyo apartment, but he had an extra room that was just large enough to fit a futon. After arguing for an hour about who should get the futon—Makoto insisting that his guest should take the bed—Haru would not budge and started unpacking his things in the spare room as if he owned the place. Makoto had forgotten how stubborn Haru could be, but he kind of missed bantering with him.

Soon Haru was passed out on the futon, uncaring of how small the space was. A twinge of nostalgia gripped his insides as he shut the door. When they were kids, he and Haru used to sleep on futons next to each other during sleepovers. Haru’s presence was always calming for Makoto when the world seemed to be a whirlwind of things he didn’t understand.

They’re older now—adults, even—but the urge to crawl next to him and feel that stability never left him after all these years. But he wouldn’t—he couldn’t—and so he quietly shut the door behind him and retreated to his own room, his heart warm knowing Haru was with him again.

***

A memory drifted into his dreams as he slept. He, Nagisa and Rei were at the Nanase house to wish Haru luck on his journey to the Rio Olympics. They even gave Haru a mackerel-shaped cake, which took him 20 minutes to admire before devouring it. It was like old times in high school again, and in the corner of his eye, Makoto caught Haru smiling while Nagisa and Rei argued over what movie they were going to watch. 

The movie rolled to the credits and it was getting late. Haru had an early flight the next day. Nagisa clung to Haru in a koala hug, screaming “Good luck Haru-chan!” before Rei stepped in and pried him off and ushered him out the door.

“Did you have fun Haru-chan?” he asked when the house got quiet.

“Mmm,” Haru nodded as he began to clean up the cups and empty popcorn bowls strewn on the floor.

Makoto thought about leaving Haru to himself, but he followed him to the kitchen. Haru was at the sink, rinsing out the cups. His hands were delicate on the glass, eyes sparkling slightly in the way Haru gets when there’s water near, but this time it seemed different—as if Haru was contemplating something.

“What is it?” he asked.

Haru turned off the tap and dried his hands on a tea towel.

“Nothing…just…thank you,” he said gliding toward him.

Makoto leaned against the counter and smiled down at him.

“Thanks for what? I really didn’t do much,” he chuckled, rubbing the back of his neck bashfully.

Haru stepped closer and his gaze stopped his breath.

For the first time in a long time, Makoto couldn’t read Haru’s eyes—he could only stare into the depths of them, lost in a dark blue ocean that sucked him in like a riptide. They were so close, centimeters apart.

Haru reached for his hand and took it. His fingers were slightly cold, but soft. His hand grounding yet sending his mind drifting into the air like steam. They were so close he could lean down and brush his lips on his forehead. Haru seemed to notice this and craned his neck up—the column of his neck was so graceful and beautiful, so _Haru_.

“Makoto…” Haru breathed and he inhaled the scent of vanilla.

Their lips were almost touching now, and Haru’s eyes were so heavy on his. What was this? What was happening to him? It was as if he was hypnotized by those eyes, and he had no idea how to regain consciousness.

“Haru…” he whispered. Fingers curled tighter around his palm and his breath hitched.

Makoto jolted awake, sweaty and blushing. He looked at the clock: 2:30 a.m.

He cursed himself. This couldn’t happen now—not when Haru was right there in the other room. As happy as he was to have Haru back for three weeks, he dreaded having to keep himself together.

Haru couldn’t know about this—whatever _this_ was.


	2. Haru’s Last Chance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "He was able to travel the world—free to do whatever he wanted—but he always wondered how long he needed to stay away for he and Makoto to go back to what they once were. That was two years ago, and now standing in his best friend’s sparse kitchen he felt like this was his last chance to make things right." 
> 
> Haru returns to Japan to visit Makoto and to make things right after a misunderstanding drove them apart, but somehow he always seems to make things worse.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello friends! Thank you so much for all your lovely comments and kudos. This is my first multiple chapter fic so it was super fun to create ~conflict~ for MakoHaru to untangle.  
> Anyway, music helps me a lot to create the mood of the chapter, so this chapter was inspired by [Give it to Me](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YOpQYqNfdnc) by Miya Folick.  
> Happy reading!

Haru’s sleep schedule was all kinds of fucked up, but he still managed to crawl out of bed for his morning jog. It took him a second to remember where he was, his mind still thinking he was flying over the Pacific crammed into the window seat of a packed plane.

He cracked his neck and ventured out of his room, padding quietly across the small flat. Makoto was still asleep when he made his way to the kitchen, opening the fridge to see just a few bottles of water, a carton of eggs and old boxes of takeout. Taking a water, he made a mental note to make Makoto some real food later.

He had to thank his friend for letting him stay here somehow, even though Makoto probably would have given him the shirt off his back if he asked for it. He was happy to be back with Makoto—they had looked forward to this visit for months— but the strain of their separation since Rio was hard to ignore.

  
He was never any good at words, but he didn’t need Makoto to tell him he had royally fucked up that night before he left. Makoto just had this look of horror in his eyes when he got too close. The moment he wrenched his hand from his was the moment something inside Haru broke. Makoto had sidestepped him and stammered something about being late and having to get home, speeding out the door with a hasty “Good luck out there!” and then he was gone.

  
Haru felt like the biggest fucking idiot in all Japan. He had just tried to kiss his best friend, and he was pretty sure he had ruined everything.

  
He came out of the Rio Olympics with two gold medals and a bronze, and from that point on, he never stopped moving. He was able to travel the world—free to do whatever he wanted—but he always wondered how long he needed to stay away for he and Makoto to go back to what they once were. That was two years ago, and now standing in his best friend’s sparse kitchen he felt like this was his last chance to make things right.

  
He downed the water and slipped on his running shoes. He hit the street at a sprint so his pace would be fast enough to drown the thoughts of Makoto.

***

Makoto took Haru to the small café Nagisa had picked out for their brunch. Naturally, the main items on the menu consisted of sweet breads, which Haru didn’t particularly care for, but he went along with it anyway.  
They were early, so they sat at a large rounded table in the back corner of the room and waited for their friends to show up.

  
Makoto sighed, “Of course Nagisa would be late to his own party.”

  
Haru cracked a smile over his tea.

  
“I don’t mind,” he said. “I never got to ask you how you’ve been.”

  
“Haru-chan’s life is so much more interesting than mine,” Makoto chuckled, absentmindedly scratching his head.

  
Haru just sat there looking at him expectantly. Makoto took a breath.

  
“Things are good! Still coaching kids at the swim club. I’ve even had some high school students ask me to coach them. They’re great, but they make me feel like an old man,” he said.

  
“Makoto, you’re 24,” Haru deadpanned.

  
“Which means I’m practically ancient to these kids!”

  
They both laughed. Makoto took a sip of his hot chocolate with whipped cream. _Ancient, huh?_ Haru thought as a fond smile curled his lips.

  
“How’s your family?” he asked. Makoto wiped the whipped cream mustache from his lip with his sleeve.

  
“Well, Ren and Ran are teenagers now if you can believe it,” he said. “But everyone is pretty much the same. I haven’t been to Iwatobi in a while though…”

  
“Mmn. I haven’t been since my parents sold the house,” Haru said with a quiet sadness disguised in a nonchalant tone. Makoto gave him the smile that he only used with him—the warm smile that never changed in all the years he knew him.

  
“We had a lot of happy memories in that house, right Haru-chan?”

  
The words stung his heart, but he willed it not to show.

  
“Yeah…” he said, but it was clear that wasn’t all he had to say. Sensing this, Makoto sat quietly. Haru always appreciated the way he made space for him to unscramble his thoughts from his head.

  
“Makoto…I—”

  
“HARU-CHAN!!!”

  
Suddenly, Haru was nearly knocked out of his chair by Nagisa who hung from his neck and buried his messy blonde hair in his chest.

  
“I missed you Hau-chan! How could you go this long without me?!” Nagisa cried.

  
“Nagisa get off him! You’re going to injure someone,” Rei said frantically.

  
“It’s good to see you too,” he wheezed. Good to know Nagisa and Rei hadn’t changed at all.

  
“Haru! It’s so good to see you!” a silky voice said from behind him. He turned around and then proceeded to get up from his chair.

  
“I’m leaving,” he said.

  
“Wha-? Haru!” Makoto said, grabbing Haru’s arm before he could walk away.

  
“We can’t wait to hear about everything,” Kisumi said.

  
“Did you invite him?” Haru asked Makoto to which he responded by not so gently tugging him back into a chair.

  
“What has Mr. Olympic Gold Medalist been up to?” Kisumi continued.

  
“Don’t call me that,” Haru said squeezing the bridge of his nose. He could feel a migraine coming on.

  
“Yeah Haru! How was the _celebration_ at the Athlete’s Village? Is it true that they hand out a pack of condoms and lube to everyone there?” Nagisa said leaning across half the table on his elbows.

  
“Who let Kisumi and Nagisa be friends? I need to know who introduced them so I can kill them,” Haru mumbled. Makoto elbowed him in the ribs.

  
“How about we order first and then we can catch up,” Makoto said. Makoto always had a way of diffusing Haru’s curtness.

  
The meal was going great until Nagisa mentioned Stockholm. He didn’t even know how he got there, but now he was on the spot again. He hated it when everyone was looking at him. Nagisa looked at him with a knowing smile and he stared back desperately trying to get him to drop it.

  
“You were in Sweden?” Makoto asked in surprise.

  
“Yeah,” he answered.

  
“Haru-chan was with that swim champion guy. You know? The one who swims like Poseidon himself?” Nagisa continued.

  
_Shut up! Shut the fuck up!_

  
“You were with Albert?” Makoto’s eyebrows were raised.

  
_Fuck_.

  
“Yeah. He let me stay with him in Stockholm for a couple of weeks before my training camp in America,” he said.

  
“That’s so cool! Two rivals under one roof!” Kisumi said in a dramatic voice.

  
“It wasn’t like that,” Haru said, taking a sip of tea. He willed himself not to react, but he felt a blush creep to his ears. No doubt Makoto would notice.

  
“I bet you got an inside look at all the latest swim techniques. What an advantage!” Rei said.

  
“Heh, inside look,” Nagisa mumbled wagging his eyebrows at him.

  
Haru saw Makoto in his periphery, the gears turning in his head and then suddenly piecing everything together.

  
_Shit_.

  
“I’m going to the restroom,” Haru said, bolting out of his chair.

  
This was not happening. The last thing he wanted was to make things more awkward with Makoto, but here he was... hiding in a bathroom stall trying to think of a way to get out of this mess.

  
They never really talked about relationships or sexuality, but he couldn’t help but notice Makoto’s skittishness around romantic intimacy. Growing up, he could barely sit through the love scenes in movies. When the girls at school asked him out, he always declined—even in college. Maybe he just wasn’t interested in that sort of thing. Maybe he was disgusted by it—by him.

  
Part of him felt like he was cheating on Makoto somehow. He was his best friend—they were supposed to know each other better than anyone— and yet he was hiding a part of himself from him.

  
He left the stall to splash some water in his face—that always calmed him down—but he didn’t hear Makoto come in until he was standing right next to him.

  
“So… you and Albert?” He said.

  
“It’s not like that,” Haru said a little too quickly. He wouldn’t look him in the eye. Instead, he busied himself with the paper towel dispenser.

  
“Not that it’s any of my business…I mean I wouldn’t care either way… I mean, you do you… or… you do Albert... It’s fine. Totally fine,” Makoto rambled.

  
“Please stop,” Haru sighed.

  
“So sorry. I didn’t mean to intrude at all. I know you like your privacy. I just want you to know I support you guys’…relationship…”

  
“Me and Albert are just friends…” he cut in, daring to look him in the eye. Then quietly, looking away, “…with benefits.”

  
He tried to forget the look of betrayal in Makoto’s eyes. It only lasted a split second, but it was there.

  
“O-oh okay,” Makoto stuttered.

  
“Okay,” Haru said.

  
There was a beat of silence.

  
“I’ll just be going now... Back to the table… Um…yeah,” Makoto said blushing from his neck to the roots of his hair.

  
“Okay, I’ll be there in a sec,” he said.

  
“Okay.” Makoto backed away, tripping over the trash can on his way out and awkwardly sliding it back in place before shutting the door. Haru looked to the ceiling and sighed.

  
_Fuck_.

  
***

  
After brunch, Nagisa and Rei walked to the train station hand in hand. Nagisa was humming a tune to a pop song Rei didn’t recognize when a question gnawed at his mind, weaseling its way out.

  
“Why did you find it necessary to put Haru-sempi in a precarious situation like that? You know he shared his experiences in Stockholm in confidence,” he said.

  
“Sweet, sweet Rei. Don’t you see? I did Haru-chan a favor,” Nagisa smiled slyly.

  
“He nearly ran out of the restaurant! How is that considered a ‘favor’?”

  
“Did you see the way Makoto looked when he figured it out? Priceless.”

  
“That is beside the point! You shouldn’t divulge private information so freely!” Rei huffed, pushing his glasses up his nose.

  
“Oh, Rei. It is the point. You’ll see soon enough.”

  
With that, the train arrived, and Nagisa skipped onboard, dragging a flustered and confused Rei behind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My poor confused, awkward boys...  
> Thanks for reading! I love to hear your comments so don't be shy! Next Chapter coming next week :)


	3. The Haru He Remembered

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Makoto saw who Haru was—and has always been. He flowed like water, powerful and free and comfortable in his own skin—all the things he wished he had, but could never quite reach. It was at that moment Makoto realized how fucked he was. He was falling for his best friend."
> 
> Makoto, Haru and the crew go to the club to celebrate Haru's return, but Makoto's inner feelings for his best friend are spiraling out of control.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For once in my life I actually finish writing a chapter early.  
> Buckle up, y'all. It's going to be a long one!

Makoto swore the gods put Haru on this earth to torture him. He didn’t mean to, but he did.

It was hard to keep his thoughts in check that week since the discovery of Haru’s _personal life_ at brunch. He had known Haru was probably into guys for a while—that wasn’t the issue. The problem was he couldn’t stop thinking about Haru with his _lovers_ doing things that made him blush all over at the most inconvenient times.

It wasn’t fair to his friend to think of him like that without permission, but the more he tried to purge those thoughts from his mind, the more they came back twice as bad as before. He had never fantasized like this before, but now it was like he had the mind of a horny 14-year-old, wondering things like if Haru ever had any long-term relationships or if he was a one-night-stand sort of guy, if Haru was a top or a bottom, if Haru liked giving head…

He needed psychological help. In no way was any of that his business.

“Coach Tachibana?”

He snapped to attention so quick he nearly got mental whiplash. Hayato was looking at him from the edge of the pool, finished with his warmup laps.

“Can you time me?” the young teen asked.

It was hard to believe how much Hayato had grown over the years from that scared little boy to a teenager with a powerful backstroke.

“Sure!” Makoto said, grabbing his stopwatch from around his neck. Hayato coiled at the starting block, ready to spring back.

“Thake your marks…go!” And he was off.

He watched him bolt through the water, but his stroke started to get choppy in the middle of the pool.

“He’s fighting the water.”

Makoto yelped. It was Haru. He had snuck up on him again.

“Geez, Haru. One of these days you’re going to give me a heart attack,” he sighed, hand placed over his heart. “But yes, Hayato has come a long way, but he’s still finding his rhythm.”

“Mn…”

Haru stood beside him watching. His hair was damp from training in the Olympic-sized pool down the hall. He was still in his jammers, but he wore his college swim team jacket unzipped, revealing his lean chest underneath. Rivulets of water dripped from his hair down his pectorals and abdomen, which was definitely _not_ what Makoto was thinking about when Hayato got to the turn. Hayato slowed a bit and then pushed off the wall.

“He’s afraid of hitting his head on the wall,” Haru observed.

“Valid fear,” he said.

Haru huffed a laugh. Makoto had quite a few collisions with the pool wall when he was growing up. Maybe that’s why he felt so crazy now. Lost too many braincells.

“I’m going for a cooldown,” Haru said, heading for an empty lane.

“Okay, sounds good,” he said.

He felt guilty for feeling somewhat relieved. He didn’t have to police himself as much while Haru wasn’t standing right next to him. Just as Hayato finished, Haru dove in with perfect form.

“Woah! Haru-san is so cool,” he said. “I wanna swim like him when I grow up.”

“Me too, Hayato. Me too,” he sighed.

Soon practice was over, and Hayato waved goodbye.

“Remember, no practice next week,” Makoto said before the boy could run out the door.

“Yes, coach. Have a good vacation! Say hi to Ren and Ran for me!” he said.

“Thank you, and I will,” Makoto waved.

“Bye, bye!” And the pink-haired teen stepped out the door, leaving Makoto and Haru with the pool all to themselves.

Haru had stopped swimming laps and was now floating through the water with his eyes closed. He didn’t want to disturb him, so he gathered his coaching materials, stowed them in his backpack, and sat on the edge of the pool with his sweats rolled up to his knees. He liked the feeling of the cool water in between his toes.

He had just gotten settled when his phone beeped in his pocket. It was a text from Nagisa.

_MAKO-CHAN! We’re hitting the club tonight. Don’t even try to back out this time!_

Makoto sighed and started typing. Just when he was about to relax…

_I’ll have to ask Haru. He doesn’t usually like that sort of thing._

_Stop using Haru as an excuse, MOM! You are going to put your big boy pants on and get turnt on the motherfucking dance floor and you’re going to HAVE FUN!_

Makoto was pretty sure he would not have fun. Every time he got tricked into going clubbing with Nagisa, he usually ended up being the one sober friend having a panic attack over getting his drunk friends home in one piece.

Sensing his distress, Haru floated toward him.

“Nagisa wants to go to the club tonight. I told him you might not be into it,” Makoto explained.

“I’m down. What time?” Haru said, taking off his swim cap and shaking out his hair.

“Oh-okay. I’ll ask,” he said, too surprised by Haru’s answer to question it.

He stood up and, out of old habit, reached out his hand. Haru took it and pulled himself out of the pool. He really missed doing that. Haru must have read his thoughts, so he gave him a small smile making Makoto’s chest swell. His eyes were so bright and alive as if he just swam in the warmest ocean.

It occurred to Makoto that he held Haru’s hand for a moment too long, so he let go and Haru stepped away to grab his jacket and towel. The spell was broken.

***

That evening, Haru spoiled him by making him some green curry— after teasing him for not having proper food in his fridge. Though Makoto had gotten better at cooking since college—he could make a pretty mean omelet—he was still a bit lazy when it came to cooking more elaborate meals.

He ate slowly, not just because he wanted to savor Haru’s cooking, but because he wanted to stall as much as possible. He hadn’t been to a club since college, and his past experiences there weren’t that great.

He didn’t like the loud music and yelling in people’s faces to communicate. He wasn’t very good at dancing— _What do you do with your arms?—_ and he never liked hanging out at the bar because he didn’t really drink and he felt extremely uncomfortable around the people flirting with him and trying to get him to come home with them. It just wasn’t his scene, and in college it wasn’t Haru’s either. Nine times out of ten, Haru made an excuse for them—he was too tired from training, he and Makoto had plans to watch a movie, they had to study for an exam— and they would just hang out in Haru’s tiny apartment instead, playing video games on his DS and making late night sugar cookies. Now he guessed since Haru was only visiting for a short time, he would humor Nagisa this one time.

Makoto sulked to his room and put on a pair of jeans and his favorite red flannel shirt. He combed his fingers through his messy olive hair and called himself passible. He was walking through the living room to search for his wallet and keys when he heard Haru’s door open.

“Ready to go Haru-ch—” the question lodged in his throat and he immediately forgot what he was doing.

Haru was dressed in skinny black jeans that accentuated his long legs. He wore a black mesh top that was just diaphanous enough to see the outline of lean torso and rippling abs. His hands were shoved into the pockets of an olive-green bomber jacket with hand-sewn patches from all over the world on the front and the sleeves. And was he wearing eyeliner? And blue eyeshadow? _What?_

Makoto felt like a shmuck.

The Haru he remembered never cared much for fashion, always wearing comfortable sweats or faded jeans and cycling between his favorite blue sweatshirt and his favorite black sweatshirt. Since his Olympic debut, he had taken some modeling jobs, and soon Makoto was catching glimpses of his friend on posters at the train station wearing all kinds of things—even suits, which he used to fight Haru tooth and nail to get him to wear to formal events. Now he was in advertisements for colognes and Rolexes like he was born wearing a suit.

Haru stepped into the living room with his custom black Nikes and raised an eyebrow.

_Crap! I’m staring, aren’t I?_

“You look beautiful,” he blurted.

Haru’s eyebrows disappeared into his bangs.

_Oh NO! I said that out loud? That’s it. I’m done. Kill me now._

“Thanks…you don’t look so bad yourself,” Haru said.

He rubbed the back of his head bashfully.

“That’s nice of you to say,” he said. And then he remembered his wallet and keys, patting his pockets unconsciously.

Haru sauntered to the kitchen and came back holding the items up before tossing them his way. It was scary how well Haru could read his mind. He hoped to god he couldn’t read his gutter brain.

They met up with Nagisa and Rei outside The Rapids, a slightly more upscale gay bar and club than the ones they frequented in college.

Nagisa seemed to be telling Rei a wild, animated story (as Nagisa does) when they arrived. Rei spotted them first and waved before Nagisa spun around, story long forgotten, to greet them.

“Mako-chan! Haru-chan! You actually came! Wow Haru-chan, you glowed UP!” Nagisa bounced excitedly, invading Haru’s personal space to examine his outfit.

Across the street, Kisumi and Asahi got out of a cab.

“HARU! HI!” Asahi called, waving his arms over his head.

“Don’t yell, babe. You might spook him,” Kisumi snickered.

Haru seemed unfazed by all this, used to people calling out to him in crowds. Asahi crossed the street and gave Haru the most bro high five Makoto had ever seen.

“Good to see you, man. How’ve you been?” Asahi said, bumping Haru’s shoulder.

“Fine. Good to see you, too,” Haru said with a small smile.

 _They probably haven’t seen each other since graduation_ , Makoto thought.

Kisumi came over, and Asahi wrapped his arm around his waist.

“So happy to have everyone together again, right babe?” he said to Asahi with stars in his eyes.

“Wait…you’re together?” Haru said, scrunching his nose in distaste. “Asahi, blink twice if you’re in danger.”

“Haru is so silly,” Kisumi chuckled.

“Seriously, Asahi. There’s so much to live for. You don’t have to go on like this…”

“Okay! How about we go in and get this over with,” Makoto cut in.

“Let’s frickin’ GO, bitches!” Nagisa shouted, fist pumping the air.

Inside, the bass pounded in a defanging vibration that prickled up Mokoto’s spine. The scene was overwhelming to take in. Lights flashed in rainbow colors on the packed dance floor. A group of men at a large booth near the bar were wearing party hats and tiaras, singing happy birthday drunkenly. A pair of drag queens posed for a selfie with their elaborate, colorful cocktails. At a booth near the back, some butch lesbians and their fem girlfriends had made a giant pyramid out of beer cans, seeing who would be the one to knock it all down.

Everyone seemed to be having the time of their lives, but Makoto couldn’t help but feel out of place.

They grabbed a small booth in the back of the club, squished together, and ordered a round of beer. He tried to follow his friends’ conversations, but the room was just too damn loud. Later, Makoto was still on his first pint when everyone else had finished their third. The only solace he had was that Haru was there with him sitting crammed against his thigh. Even now Makoto felt the need for Haru’s protection—for his touch.

But he couldn’t go too deep into that thought now. Especially not in front of everyone.

Suddenly a song he vaguely recognized blasted on the speakers and Nagisa screamed “Let’s dance!” nearly pulling Rei’s arm off in the process of bolting to the dance floor. Kisumi slinked out of his seat and Asahi shrugged at them and followed his boyfriend. Haru and Makoto were left alone with warm beer and nothing to talk about.

Haru mumbled something.

“What?!” Makoto asked.

Haru tried again, but of course Haru wasn’t accustomed to talking so loudly.

“I can’t hear you! The music—it’s too loud!” Makoto shouted.

Haru huffed and stood up.

“Do. YOU. Want. To. DANCE!” Haru annunciated.

 _Oh_.

“With ME?” He asked.

Haru rolled his eyes.

“NO with the Queen of England you IDIOT!” he shouted. His voice was getting hoarse from all the yelling. Then he shrugged as if to say, “but you don’t have to.”

In the distance, Nagisa called out to Haru, waving his arms wildly for him to come over. He looked back once at Makoto, a silent apology in his eyes, and turned to the dance floor.

 _Maybe you should follow him…You’re going to make a fool out of yourself out there, Makoto. It’s not worth it!_ He argued to himself.

Then he saw Haru dance, which he couldn’t remember ever seeing before. It was breathtaking. Haru eyed him from the dance floor, and as if pulled by an invisible force, he drifted toward him. Nagisa screamed happily over the music, but he was locked onto Haru. Those blue eyes were sharp and dark, mischievous almost. He wondered, who was this man swaying before him, because he never remembered Haru being this provocative.

Makoto never was a good dancer. His limbs were too long and demeanor too awkward to be considered coordinated, but Haru was all grace, moving his body fluidly through the space to the rhythm of the music.

The bass dropped and slowed into the next song—not quite a slow dance, but slow enough for Haru to place both hands on his shoulders and lead.

“You’re stiff,” he said into his ear, and he immediately seized up and blushed before he realized Haru was talking about his dancing.

“I can’t help it!” he cried.

“Yes, you can. Just watch me,” he said.

Haru moved his hands from his shoulders to his forearms, rocking them both side to side. Then he moved his shoulders like a wave, and Makoto realized Haru had taken his jacket off at the table. He was mesmerized by the blinding white skin of his clavicle and neck. He tried to follow the sway of his hips, but he could never compare to this beauty of a man who was Haruka Nanase.

Haru closed his eyes to feel the music, and Makoto saw who Haru was—and has always been. He flowed like water, powerful and free and comfortable in his own skin—all the things he wished he had, but could never quite reach.

It was at that moment Makoto realized how fucked he was. He was falling for his best friend.

At this realization, he froze in Haru’s arms and he opened his eyes slowly as if coming out of a trance.

Makoto surprised himself when he said, “Let’s do shots!” because fuck it.

Haru raised his eyebrows but didn’t question him. He released his arms and started toward the bar. They plopped down a pair of barstools more out of the way from the others. Makoto had no idea what to order, but Haru saved him.

“Two lemon drops please,” he said. Makoto had no idea what that was, but at that point he would have consumed hard liquor in any form to drown out his nerves.

“Since when do you drink liquor?” Makoto asked.

“Since I discovered Brazilian Cachaça,” Haru replied. “Don’t travel too much. It’ll make you an alcoholic.”

The bartender came back with two glasses that looked suspiciously less lemon and more like straight vodka. Makoto raised his glass anyway and Haru clinked it, throwing back the drink like a pro. He tried to copy, but just as he suspected, the taste of vodka was overwhelming, and he coughed a little. Then came a pleasant citric aftertaste, warmth spreading from his throat to his chest. His shoulder and back muscles loosened. He could go for another round, so they did, and then another, and another…until he lost track of how many shots they had done.

Soon they were dancing to whatever annoying pop song that came on, and Makoto just laughed like an idiot the whole time. He couldn’t remember the last time he had this much fun.

Haru leaned into him, shouting “Let’s bail” over the bass.

“What about the others?” Makoto slurred. Even while drunk, he was still a mother hen.

“Nagisa and Rei are hardcore making out in a booth somewhere and Asahi told me that he and Kisumi were ‘going to the bathroom’ and I haven’t seen them since. I think they’ll be okay without us,” Haru said, shrugging his jacket back on.

Makoto shrugged and followed Haru out into the street. The cool spring air was soothing, but when he took a few steps, he stumbled a bit. He hadn’t been this drunk since college, but he didn’t really care.

They walked a few blocks before he started to get really dizzy. Haru took his arm and sat him down on a park bench while he ran into a convenience store for snacks. The night was quiet except for the background of Tokyo traffic that he stopped hearing after a while of living there.

Haru came back with a bag of popcorn and a Snickers bar, which he threw into Makoto’s lap and promptly fumbled. He unwrapped the candy bar and devoured it in two seconds flat.

“At training camp, there was a 7-Eleven right by the aquatics center,” Haru said, ripping open the plastic bag of popcorn and offering him some. He took a handful and listened.

“We would run down there get these giant Slurpees after races. It was basically just ice mixed with cherry-flavored sugar syrup, and it was disgusting, but they had us swimming so hard, the sugar hit like a drug,” Haru said.

Makoto chuckled.

“One time, one of my students got into regionals and they were selling these jalapeño cheese-stuffed pretzels at the concession stand...”

“No,” Haru whispered, guessing where this story was going.

“… and he decided to be an idiot and eat one before the 200-meter free…”

“No!” he moaned.

Makoto smiled wickedly.

“…and after he finished, he puked on the pool deck.”

“Oh my god! No!”

“They had to postpone the next heat because of the mess,” Makoto chuckled.

“Who even does that?!” Haru said, eating a handful of popcorn.

“Well you were the one who survived solely on mackerel and canned pineapple in high school,” he retorted.

Haru threw the crumpled-up bag of popcorn at him.

“Shut up! You know that’s not the same thing.”

Makoto laughed and then it was quiet for a moment. Haru got up and stumbled to the empty playground. He climbed up and sat on the slide. A memory of them as kids flashed before them at the same time.

“Remember when you convinced me to join the swim club with you?” Haru asked.

“Yeah it seems like that was forever ago,” he said, remembering how stubborn Haru was, but he caved anyway, because Makoto somehow always got Haru to cave.

 _It’s meaningless without you._ He thought.

“Well, I’m glad you did,” Haru said, about to slide down but he couldn’t budge.

“Fuck. I think I’m stuck,” he said.

“What do you mean you’re stuck?” Makoto’s “mom friend” sense activated.

“I mean my ass is to damn big for this tiny ass slide!” Haru wiggled a little but still couldn’t move.

“Don’t worry Haru-chan! I’ll get you out!” Makoto cried, hobbling over to him.

“Drop the -chan,” he grunted as he attempted to scoot down.

Makoto grabbed his legs and pulled and suddenly Haru came sliding down, his feet knocking into Makoto’s shins and making him crumple on top of him, both hands gripping the sides of the slide beside Haru’s head. They looked at each other in stunned silence for a beat before Haru started cackling. The laughter was contagious. Pretty soon they were laughing so hard that tears welled up in their eyes as they sat in the dirt like they were toddlers again.

Makoto started to get sleepy, and Haru’s shoulder was so soft on his head when he laid it there. Haru stroked his back in circles. He could have fallen asleep right there on the ground if Haru hadn’t heaved him up. That’s when his memory blacked out, but he knew he was safe knowing Haru was there to take him home.

***

Makoto woke with a splitting headache and dry mouth. _Ugh I’m never drinking again_ he moaned to himself. He opened his swollen eyes to sunlight peaking through the curtains. Late morning. He yawned and stretched his arms out, but he hit something solid beside him.

He looked over to see a lump in the blankets with a tuft of black hair splayed on his pillows. The lump sighed and moved. His brain took a second to catch up to him. It was Haru.

 _What--? How--?_ His mind raced to the night before, but he couldn’t remember getting home or going to bed. How had this happened?

Haru rolled over closer to him and now he was facing him. He could feel his soft breath on his face.

_Okay. Be cool, be cool, be cool, be cool._

He looked down and to his relief they both had their boxers on still, but if he were brutally honest, he was a bit disappointed. Haru must have helped him into bed and got too tired to walk to his room. It didn’t mean anything.

Haru was shirtless and cuddled into his favorite fluffy blanket. He still had his makeup on, blue eye shadow smeared and faded a bit, but still framing his eyes beautifully. His hair, normally neatly combed, was sticking up all over the place.

The sight was so adorable, his heart felt like it would explode, but he needed to calm down. Maybe he could sneak out without waking Haru up.

Too late! Haru sharply inhaled and rubbed his eyes.

_Oh NO! No no no no no no!_

Haru moaned at the sunlight behind his hands.

“ _Vad är klockan?_ ” He asked without opening his eyes.

Makoto was taken aback.

“What?” he said.

Haru’s eyes shot open, looking around wildly as if he had forgotten where he was. Then his eyes settled on Makoto and blinked to check to see if what he was seeing was real. Makoto knew because he did the same. They both stared at each other stupefied for a moment before Haru finally broke the silence.

“What time is it?” he asked.

“I don’t know. I cant find my watch,” he said.

“It’s on your wrist, idiot,” Haru smirked.

He looked down and his orange athletic watch was indeed on his wrist.

“oh, whoops. It’s 11:30,” he said.

“We shouldn’t have done all those shots,” Haru moaned, covering his eyes with the blanket.

“Yeah, but we had fun, didn’t we, Haru?” Makoto said.

“You’re such a clingy drunk. Kept saying ‘don’t leave me, Haru-chan! Don’t leave me alone!’” Haru said, his voice going up a pitch to imitate Makoto’s.

“Okay first of all, I do _not_ sound like that,” he said, jabbing his finger into Haru’s shoulder. “Second of all, you were the one who got me drunk in the first place…”

“lightweight…” Haru mumbled.

Makoto jabbed him in the ribs, and Haru curled into himself as he tried to keep a laugh inside him, but Makoto knew he was ticklish there. So Makoto’s fingers wiggled up his sides and stomach, and Haru couldn’t hold in his laughter any longer. He had the most beautiful laugh.

“Stop! Stop! I swear to god if you don’t stop, I’m going to puke on your bed,” Haru cried, swatting Makoto’s hands away.

He relented. Haru sighed and rubbed the redness from his cheeks.

“Ugh, I’m gross. I’m taking a shower,” he said, rolling himself to a seat and swinging his legs off the bed. He yawned and stretched, giving Makoto the best view of his back muscles flexing under his graceful shoulder blades.

Makoto shook his head and snapped out of it. He sat up.

“Hey Haru-chan?” he said as Haru got up to leave. He turned around and stared down at him with tired but friendly eyes. “Thanks for being there for me.”

Haru huffed and looked to the side.

“Drop the -chan.”

_You’re welcome._

And with that, he turned and slipped out the door.

***

Meanwhile, Nagisa’s group chat was blowing up.

Kisumi: Did it work?

Nagisa: Bitch, of course it worked. My plans are flawless 😜

Rei: Well I would argue on the contrary. That one incident when you attempted to sneak backstage at the BTS concert did not prove successful at all.

Nagisa: Ok, but we did get a view of their dressing room!

Rei: We went to CONCERT JAIL!

Asahi: Ok but really, how do we know Haru and Makoto actually got together last night? They could have just bailed because they were tired.

Kisumi: Babe, I love you, but you’re dense as hell. They totally fell for it. They’re probably fucking right now!

Rei: I have to agree with Asahi-san on this. We can’t assume that their relationship is anything other than platonic…

Kisumi: Ok but did you _see_ the way Mako was salivating over Haru? And Haru! Haru doesn’t get that snatched for nothing. The man wants that D

Nagisa: Get 👏 Haru 👏 That 👏 D 👏

Nagisa: I swear to god if those two aren’t MARRIED by the end of this, I’m going to fuckin lose it!

Asahi: Oh god! Pray for Makoto and Haru 😰

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nagisa is truly a mastermind.  
> Some notes: When Haru wakes up, he was speaking Swedish, which he had picked up from being with Albert (I know. I'm terrible)  
> When I wrote the dancing scene, I imagined Haru and Makoto dancing to [Hang on Me by St. Vincent](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zQFAqoaUdAI)  
> Thank you all for reading and all your lovely kudos!


	4. All Things Change

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Haru and Makoto return to Iwatobi for a family visit, and Haru realizes he needs to be better at using his words.

He had really fucking done it now. He was drunk. He couldn’t help it. But that still didn’t change the fact that he had gone too far.

Haru didn’t want things to change between him and Makoto—he thought their friendship was deep and unbreakable, but here they were dancing around each other, too afraid to say or do the wrong thing.

This was a disaster. He should have never made Makoto go to that club—he had looked so lost until he buried it in booze—but the way they had danced together like no one was watching, was honestly the best Haru had seen Makoto in years.

He was desperate, so he did the only thing he knew to do: He called Rin.

The video chat feed on his laptop was laggey and pixelated, but he could still see the general shape of Rin’s smug face under his ballcap.

“Hey, fish brain. What’s up?” Rin said.

“Shut up. I have a problem,” Haru said curtly.

“Did they put too much chlorine in the water again?”

“No, but the PH of that water was way too low,” Haru backfired. “I could have died!”

“Jesus, Haru…” Rin massaged the space in between his eyebrows. “That’s not how that works! We’re not having this conversation again.”

“Fuck you. Listen.”

Rin sighed, “What is it now?”

Haru paused, weighing how he was going to say this.

“Makoto has been acting weird. I think I broke him,” he finally said.

Rin examined his nails as if he were only half listening.

“Makoto has always been weird, but continue,” he said.

“It’s like…he’s been avoiding me,” Haru muttered. “I thought coming back would make things better…but I think I’m just fucking everything up.”

Rin looked back up at him through the screen, and he could have sworn he looked annoyed. _Asshole._

“Ok but have you talked to him about it at all?”

Haru was silent. Rin let out an exasperated sigh.

“Haru, you have the communications skills of a dead halibut,” he deadpanned.

“Don’t insult me. You know I’m more of a sea bass,” Haru pouted.

“THAT ISN’T—ugh!” Rin took a moment to compose himself before getting serious.

“You can’t expect things to be the same as before. We’re not in grade school, Haru. You guys are grown-ass adults, so you need to start acting like one,” Rin said.

“But what if I don’t _want_ things to change? If things could just go back to the way things were before Rio...”

“Haru, unless you have a time machine hidden in that tiny suitcase of yours, you can’t go back,” he interrupted.

“So I’ve fucked myself, is what you’re saying,” Haru said crossing his arms across his chest.

“What _I’m saying_ is that you need to accept that you and Makoto have changed. That doesn’t make him less of your friend but pretending that nothing has happened is just going to leave you in friend purgatory.”

Haru thought about it for a moment, not knowing how to respond to Rin’s sudden streak of wisdom.

“How did you and Sosuke deal with it?” he asked.

Rin and Sosuke got together after high school graduation. Somehow Rin got him to pack his life up and move all the way to Australia with him, confess his undying love _and_ put a ring on it in a single year. To say Haru wasn’t somewhat jealous of them would be a lie.

“We sat down and had an adult conversation about what we were doing…what we were,” he said then paused and asked. “You love him, don’t you?”

Haru was not ready to answer this. His throat went dry, and he opened his mouth, but no words came out.

“What if he doesn’t feel that way?” He whispered.

“You’ll never know how he feels if you never ask,” Rin said.

Ugh. Why was this so fucking hard? Now he really wished Makoto could just read his mind.

“I just don’t want him to hate me,” he said.

Rin had the audacity to laugh.

“Haru, if there’s one thing I know about Tachibana Makoto, it’s that there’s no way in hell he could ever hate you,” he said. “Just try, okay.”

“… Okay, I will. We’re heading to Iwatobi soon. Maybe I’ll talk to him while we’re there,” Haru said.

“YES! Do that. And you better call me afterward to spill the tea,” he replied with a smirk and a little wink.

“Why would I spill tea? I would break my laptop,” he said, clueless.

“It’s just a—you know what? Never mind,” Rin facepalmed. “Just call me.”

“Okay, I’ll do it” He took a breath. “I’m going to talk to Makoto.”

“Smart man. I gotta go. Me and Sou gotta hit the gym. Don’t get soft on me while you’re there!”

“Don’t cry in the pool when I beat you again. It messes with the PH of the water,” Haru retorted.

“Fuck you!” Rin growled.

Haru huffed a laugh.

“But seriously. It’s going to be okay. I just know it,” Rin softened.

“Thanks,” he said, but he could hear Sosuke yelling at Rin in the background telling him to hurry up.

“Gotta go, man. Chao,” Rin waved.

And with that, his screen went blank.

***

Haru was an expert suitcase packer. His clothes and toiletries were neatly folded and stowed their specific places with room to spare for his expanding collection of jammers. He learned to be efficient over the past two years, always prepared to take the next flight to some faraway place for tournaments and meets.

The same could not be said for Makoto.

“Haru? Have you seen my hairbrush?” He asked, frantically searching the disarray of his room.

Clothes, shoes and random toiletries were scattered across his bed and dressers. Meanwhile, the only thing in his open suitcase was a pair of socks and a plastic grocery bag filled with underwear.

Haru willed himself not to let his eye twitch.

“Have you checked the bathroom?” he asked.

“Yes! It’s not anywhere—” Makoto started.

“In the vanity drawers?” Haru interrupted.

Makoto paused, dropped a crumpled-up t-shit on his bed and dashed toward the door. Two seconds later, Haru heard a distant “I found it!” and he rolled his eyes.

Makoto was a disaster, but Haru had always there to iron out his wrinkles. A feeling of guilt washed over him. What had Makoto done while he was gone?

Soon Makoto had everything he wanted packed—or overpacked. They were only going to visit Iwatobi for a week, but Makoto had packed so many clothes and jackets that he had to sit on his suitcase to get the zipper to run.

After that, they raced to the train station and almost missed the train because Makoto panicked halfway there, thinking he had forgotten his ticket. After pulling everything out of his pockets, he realized it was in his backpack the whole time.

Disaster.

It was a relief when they finally got to their seats and the train zoomed out of the station, headed south. Makoto stretched his legs and sighed, sinking into his seat.

“Thank god,” he said.

Haru couldn’t help but chuckle.

“Don’t patronize me, Haru,” he complained. “It’s been a hot minute since I’ve traveled more than a 20-mile radius from my apartment.”

“How do you even get your students to meets?” Haru asked with a smirk.

“Very badly,” he said. “I lost a nine-year-old in Shinjuku Station one time.”

“Okay that is really bad,” Haru said.

“Since then, Nagisa and Rei have helped me out with meets. I am _not_ sending a missing child report to the cops again,” he said with his face in his hands.

“Kids are so wild now. I don’t remember traveling with Ren and Ran being that hard,” he sighed.

“Yeah but I was there to tell them they would get eaten by subway rats if they didn’t hold your hand at all times,” Haru quipped.

“That was YOU?! They had nightmares about that for weeks!” Makoto said so loud that other passengers glanced at them. Annoying.

“But it worked, didn’t it?” Haru pointed out.

Makoto leaned back into his chair and crossed his arms.

“Unbelievable,” he muttered.

That was how Haru knew he was right.

After a few hours and a quick train transfer, their stop had arrived. Only a handful of elderly people and some high school students dressed in uniforms got off. As they stepped onto the platform, Makoto and Haru were simultaneously sent back nearly a decade. Here was where they had grown up, exactly how they had left it. 

They rolled their suitcases along the same route they took from school past the glistening ocean and the rocky shores. Haru closed his eyes and took in the humid, salty smell of the sea. After all these years, this sea never left him.

They got to the shrine steps and Makoto stopped to look down at him. Haru’s heart leapt at his gaze.

“We’re home, Haru-chan,” Makoto smiled warmly.

Haru was breathless at those smiling green eyes. All he could utter was “Yes.”

They lugged their suitcases (mostly Makoto’s suitcase) up the steps and knocked on the Tachibana’s door. There was a sound of a commotion behind the door—a pot crashing, a girl squealing and heavy footsteps pounding wooden floors. Ran yanked open the door and nearly tackled her brother.

“Nii-chan!” she shouted, and Makoto picked her up in a crushing bear hug like she weighed nothing.

“Ahh! I missed you, Ran,” he chuckled.

Makoto released her and then she turned to Haru. She looked strikingly like her mother. She had traded her baby pigtails for a long braid that draped off her shoulder. Seeing Ran as a 16-year-old was surreal, especially when he had helped Makoto take care of her and Ren as infants.

“Haru-nii! You look the same,” she giggled and gave him a hug.

“Good to see you too,” he said.

She ushered them into the house, and as they were taking off their shoes, Makoto’s mom came out of the kitchen dressed in an old apron he recognized from their childhood. She looked the same save for the few grey hairs and extra laugh lines around her eyes.

“Oh, my baby boy is home!” she cried with outstretched arms.

“Mooom!” he moaned in her embrace. Haru smiled. He always admired how affectionate Makoto’s family was.

“You feel skinnier. Have you been eating enough? You haven’t just been eating ramen, have you? Haru, has he been eating well?” she rambled.

“Mom! I’m fine,” Makoto protested.

“I made him some curry before we left. There’s a bunch in the freezer,” Haru said.

“Good, boy,” she said, giving him an embrace. “How are you, sweetie? Not working too hard, I hope,” she said.

Haru felt misty-eyed. He couldn’t remember the last time even his own mother hugged him like that.

“I’m okay, Auntie,” he said. 

They stepped into the living room and Makoto’s dad sat in his usual armchair with a book in his lap.

“I watched you race Rin at that North American swim tournament. You sure are giving him a run for his money,” he said.

“We’re all so proud of you,” Mrs. Tachibana said and Ran nodded.

It felt nice to feel like a part of a family. Makoto gave him a knowing smile before asking, “Where’s Ren?”

As if on cue, Ren emerged from the back door with a soccer ball tucked under his arm. Haru blinked. The boy was tall—like super tall—taller than Makoto, even. He ducked under the entryway and waved.

“Hi, nii-chan, Haru,” he greeted.

“What happened here? You must have grown 10 centimeters since I last saw you!” Makoto said looking up at his brother. It was surreal. Makoto never looked up at anybody.

“More like 11,” he chuckled while Makoto slapped him on the back.

“Ren got on the basketball team _and_ the soccer team this year,” Mr. Tachibana said with pride.

“But he can only play if he keeps up with his schoolwork,” Mrs. Tachibana added, at which Ren rolled his eyes like any typical 16-year-old would.

After catching up, they sat down for dinner and Haru watched in amusement as the Tachibana children gorged on the roast chicken their mom had made. They were all cut from the same cloth. Haru offered to help with the dishes as Makoto was carted off by his siblings to have a Mario Kart battle. Haru was content to stand at the sink, letting the sound of the tap calm the residual nerves from the day.

Mrs. Tachibana stood next to him with towel and dried the dishes he passed to her.

“I’m so glad you’ve come to visit Haru. I know Makoto must be enjoying your company,” she said.

 _I hope he is,_ he thought to himself before nodding and passing her a bowl.

“Haru, I don’t want to tell you how to live your life, especially since you are doing so well…” she started. Haru felt pressure build in his chest. “…but I think Makoto misses you more than he lets on,” she continued. He didn’t know how to respond to that.

“I missed him too,” he finally said. He focused on scrubbing the grime off a pan so he wouldn’t have to look her in the eye. She had the same uncanny ability to read him as Makoto.

“You know you’re always welcome here,” she said, placing her hand on his arm. He stopped scrubbing to look at her then.

“I’d like to settle someday…have a home I can come back to,” he admitted. “But I don’t know if it’s possible right now.”

He went back to scrubbing, focusing on the bubbles in the soapy water, his reflection repeated in the clear orbs. He just looked sad.

He was tired of traveling from hotel to hotel, never knowing where he would be the next week. He missed having his own bed and cooking in his own kitchen surrounded by pictures of his friends and family on the walls.

He was tired of feeling the loneliness creeping in at night after a long day of training. Sure, he got calls and messages from his friends, but that only made the isolating feeling worse after he hung up the phone.

Maybe that was the reason he gravitated toward Albert and the other men he had slept with on the road. They had the only accessible, solid homes he could have, but he could only have that sense of stability for a short while—and only if he traded his body for it. 

“It will happen someday. Don’t you worry,” Mrs. Tachibana comforted.

He gave her the soapy pan and pulled the plug. The suds and his reflection spiraled down the drain.

“Oh—I just remembered. Some things came in the mail for you. I took them to the storage unit for you,” she said, drying the last of the dishes.

Haru’s heart sank at the mention of the storage unit. All his belongings he couldn’t fit into a carry-on suitcase lay there gathering dust in the dark.

“I’ll be sure to take a look,” he said.

Suddenly a pair of footsteps pounded down the stairs.

“I have dethroned the king!” Ran shouted with her fists in the air as if she had just broken a track record.

“That was totally unfair! You both targeted me! I’ve never felt so attacked in my life,” Makoto cried, moping down the steps.

“You gotta admit it was funny watching you hit all those banana peels,” Ren laughed, passing Makoto to high five his sister. She jumped up and slapped his hand.

“Whatever happened to respecting your elders?” Makoto muttered.

The twins ignored him, continuing to run around the house in a teenage stampede. _Some things never change_ , Haru thought.

Mr. Tachibana stepped out of the twins’ way, used to the constant state of pandemonium.

“It’s getting late, I’ll drive you to the rental if you would like,” he said.

“That would be nice, thank you,” Makoto said, clearly worn out after only a handful of hours with his siblings.

Haru rinsed out the sink and wiped his hands on a towel. Before he left, Mrs. Tachibana stopped him with a hand on his shoulder. She looked up at him with the same kind eyes as her son.

“You know, you don’t have to have a permanent residence to have a home,” she said. Haru looked at her confused before she shook her head.

“You’ll understand someday. Now go enjoy your visit with Makoto,” she said.

“Ready to go, Haru-chan?” Makoto asked from the kitchen doorway. He nodded, still trying to decipher what Mrs. Tachibana had said.

Mr. Tachibana drove them down the coast to a little row of houses in the dunes. Haru couldn’t take one more night of staying in a hotel, so he convinced Makoto to let him rent a beach cottage for a week. Makoto complained a bit, insisting he should pay half the rent even with his meager coaching salary, but Haru had more money than he knew what to do with from all his sponsorships and modeling jobs. Finally, Makoto had acquiesced after he agreed to let him take him out to his favorite seafood restaurant in town later.

Besides, Makoto was not about to stay in his old bedroom now that Ren had taken it over. He was just as much as a slob as Makoto—if not more.

It was dark by the time they were dropped off, so they couldn’t see the house in too much detail, but they could hear the gentle whoosh of the waves and distant cries of the seagulls. Haru inhaled the ocean breeze. This place was perfect.

Makoto unlocked the door and they kicked off their shoes and turned the lights on. The cottage was rustic with sand-worn furniture, white shiplap walls decorated with shells. It reminded Haru of his grandmother’s house when he was little, before she moved in with his family when she got old.

“This is nice!” Makoto exclaimed, plopping down on the seafoam green couch while Haru explored the kitchen. Marble countertops, modern appliances, gas stove, farmhouse sink, a _dish washer_. Yes, this would do just fine.

“Haru! The bed is huge!” Makoto called. He must have made it to the master bedroom. He followed his voice to see Makoto sprawled out like a starfish on the king-sized bed. _Looks like you’ve called this room_ , Haru amused to himself.

He moved past the bed to open the French doors out to the ocean below. He sat on the edge of the bed and just stared. He would kill to have this view every day. Makoto sat up and scooted next to him. Their hands nearly touched on the soft white duvet, and they sat in a comfortable silence for a while.

“Thanks for doing this, Haru,” Makoto said.

Haru looked at him and instantly regretted it. All he wanted to do was caress his blushing cheeks, to run his thumbs against lips, to feel those lips on his. Makoto gazed at him with hooded eyes. They were so green and alive like the sea after rain.

It was like the incident before Rio all over again, but this time, he held himself back. He couldn’t talk to Makoto just yet. He didn’t have a plan for what he was going to say.

“No need to thank me, idiot,” he mumbled, getting up to move his suitcase to his own room.

***

The next morning, instead of going for his morning run, he took the train a few stops down to the self-storage unit. Even at 7 in the morning, the air was muggy, and the sun felt heavy on his shoulders.

He stepped into the cool, climate-controlled building and shivered. The smell of cardboard, Lysol disinfectant, and dust overwhelmed him. He quickly walked down the stark, white halls and found his unit. He unlocked the padlock with the key he kept hidden in his wallet everywhere he went and heaved the garage door open.

Inside was his whole life in boxes.

He sifted through the packages that were delivered to the Tachibana house (because that was the most permanent address he had) and culled through all of the fitness clothes, shoes and nutrition bars that sponsors had sent him to try. He dumped all of them into a box to give to the Tachibanas later.

While he tried to move a particularly heavy crate of electrolyte water, a cardboard box fell from its pile and spilled all its contents on the floor.

“Shit,” he mumbled, scrambling to collect all the loose papers now on the ground.

He turned the cardboard box over and saw his name written there on the side, but it wasn’t his handwriting. It was Makoto’s. His throat closed and his heart sank. What did Makoto leave behind for him to find?

On the floor was his childhood photos. Him on his fourth birthday—he and Makoto splashing around in a kiddy pool in his back yard. Then he and Makoto, a little older now, holding white fluffy bunnies at the county fair. Makoto had a huge smile on his face, showing off a missing front tooth. Makoto and Haru at their first swim meet after they had won the relay, both holding the trophy, but Haru’s eyes were still turned toward the water.

He followed the trail of photos, reliving the progression of his life until he got to the last one on the floor. It was a photo he did not recognize. It looked like it was taken at Samezuka during their last season swimming for Iwatobi High.

Makoto had helped Haru out of the pool like he always did, and the photographer caught them before they had released their hands. Makoto was laughing at something he had said, and Haru looked up at him with a light blush on his cheeks that could have been easily mistaken as just irritated skin from swimming in a cold pool. They were smiling at each other as if for this one moment, there was no one else in the room but them. It never occurred to Haru that he looked like that when he looked at Makoto—he never thought he could look at anyone like that. Even back then, he was completely starstruck.

Sitting on the cold, concrete floor of the storage unit, Haru knew he couldn’t do this anymore. He needed to tell Makoto the truth. He needed to tell him how he felt.


	5. No Going Back

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Makoto's feelings for Haru become impossible to ignore, but despite all his efforts to get their relationship back to what it was before, something unexpected happens, changing their friendship forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! I am back at it again with my two favorite awkward boys! This chapter was a struggle, so be kind :)

Makoto used to be afraid of the sea—and he may still be weary of it— but years of seeing Haru effortlessly glide through the water made him feel safer there. He remembered back in high school when he nearly drowned trying to rescue Rei from the storm during their training camp. The waves had crashed on his head and pushed him down. He fought it, but he couldn’t break free. The next thing he remembered was Haru staring down at him, petrified, on the shore. He was so relieved to see his face. Haru later scolded him and made him promise to never scare him like that again.

Now he enjoyed the sea safely tucked into his ocean kayak with a life jacket on, but swimming alone in the open ocean still made him nervous. That was why he insisted on going with Haru on his open water swim. Honestly, it was hard to keep up with him even with paddles and the tailwind helping him, which made him swell with pride. Haru really was the best in the water.

Haru carved through the waves to a buoy that marked the end of shallow water and the beginning of the open ocean. He glided around it and then tapped the side of Makoto’s boat, his way of saying hello.

Makoto smiled at the gesture and started paddling back toward the docks. Soon Haru swam up to the old wooden dock they had lowered the kayak from before. He pushed up his goggles and leaned on the side of the boat to catch his breath.

“Nice swim, Haru!” he said.

“Thanks,” he said, still breathing hard. He must have gone at least two miles without stopping.

Haru held the boat steady as Makoto heaved the paddle and other gear he had packed on the dock before pulling himself out to sit on the splintering wood. He dragged the boat to land by the nose as Haru pushed from the back. They made a good boating team even if Haru didn’t even get to ride.

Finally, Haru was done with his cooldown of treading water and Makoto pulled him out easily. Haru looked like he was about to say something, but he didn’t. As Makoto got the gear in order to give back to the kayak rental place, Haru unzipped his wetsuit halfway, exposing the pulsing muscles of his upper body and chugged a bottle of water. Haru wasn’t the only one who was thirsty. Makoto willed himself to focus.

“Are you sure you’ll be up for going hiking today? You already ran a 5K and swam almost as far,” Makoto said in his mother hen voice.

“I’m fine,” he said, finishing the last of the water.

Back at the cottage, Makoto gathered their hiking gear while Haru took a shower. His mother had suggested digging out the old hiking stuff from the closet and making use of it. The Tachibana family was too busy now to go on their camping adventures that Makoto took as a child. Haru had gone with them sometimes, spending more time swimming in the river than making smores and singing campfire songs.

Makoto smiled at the memory. Maybe this hike will return them back to what they once were—carefree children, so sure everything would work out in the end.

They set out from the cottage on foot, heading back toward the beach. They climbed over the craggy shore onto a narrow path leading to the trail. The trail started where the beach ended, the rocky sand giving way to fresh earth and trees.

They went downhill for a while before Makoto caught the sound of running water. Haru heard it too, and Makoto thanked the gods for the fact that Haru no longer stripped at the sight of any body of water. That would be too much for him right now.

They followed the creek, Haru watching the fish swim against the current in the clear water. A spring breeze drifted through the tall pine trees, wafting a smell that reminded Makoto of Christmas. They climbed over some large rocks and crested the hill to see a waterfall tucked into a massive bowl-like boulder structure. It was totally sheltered from the outside world. The water was deep blue and calm.

“This is where my parents took me when I was little,” Haru said, looking at the water as if in a trance.

“You mean when you found your first love?” Makoto chuckled.

He remembered Haru telling the story about how he had fallen in love with a waterfall that night he almost drowned. It was a running joke between him and the Iwatobi swimmers that water would always be Haru’s first and only true love. That thought both amused and saddened Makoto.

Haru didn’t answer to his joke and just took off running toward the water.

“Haru, be careful! Watch the rocks!” he shouted to deaf ears.

Haru chucked his backpack and clothing away, stripping down to his jammers, and took a swan dive off a boulder into the water. _Old habits die hard_ , Makoto sighed to himself.

He carefully shuffled to the edge of the rock, looking down to see a black head of hair emerge from the deep. Thank god the water wasn’t as shallow as it looked.

“Wha—Haru! You can’t just dive into random pools!” He cried.

“I can. And I did. Now get in, the water feels great,” He said.

“But I didn’t bring my swimsuit!” Makoto protested.

“There’s an extra one in my bag,” Haru said before diving back under, leaving no room for arguing.

Of course Haru would carry a backup swimsuit with him at all times.

There was something oddly intimate about wearing Haru’s swimsuit. It was a bit tight on the waist—he had gained a few pounds from eating all that ramen in Tokyo—but the fabric was comforting and familiar.

Haru was floating on his back in the middle of the pond, occasionally diving under and popping back up under the spray of the waterfall. He looked like a sea nymph gliding through the stream. Makoto smiled to himself. This was what Haru looked like completely free.

Makoto carefully lowered himself in, and Haru was right. The water was just the right temperature. He sighed, letting his muscles relax and dove under, meeting Haru in the middle of the pool.

“This is nice,” he said, pushing his hair back out of his eyes.

Haru dove under and dolphin-kicked, splashing water in his face. That was intentional. It was on.

Makoto raced after him, but he was fast. Haru’s underwater stroke was more powerful than his freestyle.

“Get back here!” he shouted when Haru popped up for air at the other end of the pond.

“No,” he smirked.

He dove under again, but this time Makoto was smart. He swam to the side and cornered Haru so that he was trapped in a cove of boulders on the edge of the pool.

He sent a tsunami his way when he came up for air. Haru yelped and kicked off the boulder wall, trying to escape, but Makoto blocked him off. Despite himself, Makoto laughed when Haru splashed him back in frustration. It was like they were kids again. Their splash battle continued for a while, both dissolving into uncontrollable laughter. Then Haru kicked water in his face, and he inhaled the water into his nose and mouth, turning his giggles into a coughing fit. That was when they called a truce…for now.

Makoto backed himself against the boulder wall and caught his breath. Haru glided closer to him, his eyes sparkling in a way that was familiar but also new at the same time. Makoto had stopped coughing, but he couldn’t breathe while he was under that gaze.

“You okay?” Haru asked.

Haru reached out and gently touched his arm under the water in apology, and Makoto’s heart thudded in his chest. Haru looked up at him with water droplets clinging to his long dark eyelashes, blinking them away like tears. His cheeks were red from all the splashing and spending too much time in the sun. His dark hair stuck to his forehead, and Makoto reached his hand out if the water to brush Haru’s bangs from his brow. The move was so subconscious—he didn’t realize he was doing it until his fingers were buried in Haru’s damp hair. They were nearly chest to chest now. A hush came over Makoto’s mind as if his body were on autopilot. Nothing was said between them—nothing had to be said. There was a mutual understanding that there was no going back.

Haru tilted his face up, and this time he did not run away. Makoto met him halfway, lips brushing lightly against his. Haru let out a breathy gasp and closed the gap, his arms coming out of the water to cup his jaw. Makoto closed his eyes. He felt like floating. His heart was soaring so high his body could barely keep up. Haru’s lips fit so perfectly on his, and his breath tasted like the sea. Makoto wrapped his arms around his slender waist never wanted to let go.

How could he have gone this long without kissing Haru? He needed him like he needed air, and he kissed him then like he was the only source of oxygen left on earth.

Haru pulled back, still holding his face in his hands, and looked at him with half-lidded, shining eyes. His lips were rosy pink as he smiled.

“We’re idiots,” he sighed.

“Yeah,” Makoto said, leaning down for another kiss.

Haru ran his tongue against his bottom lip, and it was Makoto’s turn to gasp. He let him in. He moaned when Haru’s tongue slid against his, and he gripped Haru’s back tighter, leaving behind little nail marks. Haru seemed pleased by this, humming as he sucked on his bottom lip. Makoto unraveled at the feeling of Haru’s teeth gliding against his lip. Makoto’s lungs felt like they were on fire, the air around them suddenly getting heavy. He swung Haru around so that their positions were flipped, water swirling around them like a cool blanket. Now Haru was the one pressed against the wall.

Haru looked at him in slight surprise at being manhandled, but he was really blushing now, his chest and ears turning bright pink. He smiled at him, his features soft and loving.

“You’re so beautiful,” Makoto blurted.

Haru rolled his eyes and pulled his head down.

“Shut up,” he sighed before pulling him into another heavy kiss.

As much as he loved kissing Haru, if they didn’t stop soon, Makoto was going to have a problem in his jammers—or Haru’s jammers. That thought just made it worse. Reluctantly, he pulled back and they just stared at each other in silence, reveling in what they just did. Here in this sheltered cove, they gave each other a knowing look. They shared secret, and it was like they were children again, having that secret language between them that no one else could translate.

The sound of the waterfall trickled in the background. Birds flew overhead and the wind wisped through the trees. The world was peaceful, and for once, so was the inside of Makoto’s mind.

***

Back at the cottage, Makoto sat on the couch half paying attention to the Blue Planet TV show Haru had turned on and half marveling at how much he loved the feeling of Haru snuggling against his chest. He was wrapped up in a throw blanket and his hair smelled like the citrus shampoo he had brought from home.

He loved being able to hug him closer and feel Haru relax into his embrace, giving him a small peck on his collarbone before going back to watch his show.

“Hey Haru?” He asked when it cut to a commercial.

“Mmm,” he hummed sleepily.

“Why me?” Makoto asked.

Haru turned over to face him, kissing his chin.

“What do you mean?” he mumbled.

“I mean…you can have anyone you want…you had Albert—”

Haru recoiled at the mention of Albert.

“No one cares about me the way you do, Makoto. Especially not Albert,” he said.

Makoto decided not to press him further. Haru sensed his uneasiness and sighed, sitting up to look him in the eye.

“Makoto, you’re the best human being I know. You’re kind, and thoughtful, and humble, and funny…And I’m pretty sure my mom likes you better than me,” Haru said.

Makoto couldn’t help but laugh, blushing to the tips of his ears. He wasn’t used to this much flattery from Haru—or from anyone. 

“Sometimes you really need to get your shit together, and I swear you need to glue your keys to your forehead so you stop losing them, but you’re a fucking golden boy. You drive me crazy,” he said.

“Is that good crazy or bad crazy?” he asked with a smirk.

“You know which one it is,” Haru said, sealing his words with a kiss.

Haru lay on top of him, making the kiss deeper as Makoto ran his hands up and down his back. Haru let a breath out of his nose, which tickled his skin. Makoto smiled against his lips as Haru’s body turned to putty under his hands.

They didn’t notice when the show ended, but soon Haru yawned, probably exhausted from such an eventful day. He tucked his head under his chin and gave a small peck on his neck. 

“You tired Haru-chan?” He asked amusingly.

“Drop the -chan,” he mumbled against his neck.

“I think it’s time for bed,” he said, gently sitting up.

Haru kept his arms wrapped around his neck, moving so he was now sitting on his lap. Haru was so cute when he was tired.

“You know…I’m not used to sleeping in such a big bed,” Makoto started nervously.

Haru opened one eye curiously.

“It’s really disorienting when I wake up in the middle of the night, and I get frightened,” Makoto continued. 

“Mmmn, that’s no good. My room is really cold,” Haru said.

Makoto subconsciously made little nervous circles with his thumbs against Haru’s back.

“I have an extra blanket…in my room…if you want it,” He said.

Haru opened his mouth but Makoto cut him off.

“Of course, I could just _give_ you the blanket. You don’t _need_ to come to my room to retrieve it if you don’t want to…It’s totally up to you. No pressure at all—”

Haru shut him up with a kiss. When he pulled back, he was smiling. 

“I’ll be there in five minutes,” he said, sliding off his lap. He kissed Makoto’s forehead before disappearing down the hall.

Makoto nearly exploded with excitement.

Makoto skipped to his room and then panicked. The room was a mess. He had meant to unpack properly, but he always got distracted and opted to just throw his dirty clothes (at least he thought they were dirty) on the floor. He scrambled to push all the orphaned socks and discarded shirts under the bed. He hastily made his bed look less like a tornado went through it and more like the orderly way Haru liked it, remembering how Haru made his bed every morning with the precision of a military cadet. Satisfied with his work, he combed his fingers through his hair and ran to the bathroom to brush his teeth.

When he came back, Haru was there snuggled under the covers with the extra blanket on the bed, and Makoto could have cried tears of joy at the sight. For so many nights, he dreamed of this very picture while Haru was away. He never let himself think about it too much, but now that he was actually here, in his bed, lounging like he owned that space too. He felt a wave of emotion hit him all at once. He was no longer alone.

Haru took the side closest to the ocean, so Makoto opened the balcony doors to let in the cool ocean air. The rhythm of the waves relaxed Haru. He sunk deeper into the bed sleepily. It was too adorable.

He slipped under the covers beside him and gave the sleepy boy a lingering kiss. The warmth he felt from Haru’s presence was so comforting he was already lulling to sleep. Without a word, Haru reached up and turned off the bedside lamp. Makoto, feeling the nerves leave him, wrapped his arm around Haru’s middle, spooning him like he dreamed of all these years. Haru’s back rose and fell with his soft breathing against his chest. Makoto wondered if he could feel his heart swell.

“Goodnight, my Haru-chan,” he whispered.

Haru sighed contently, locking his fingers through his hand resting on his belly. Makoto smiled.

“Goodnight,” he murmured.

***

Makoto was asleep with his face tucked in Haru’s hair when he got a text from Nagisa. He wouldn’t answer until the next morning, after Haru had woken him up with a flurry of kisses on his face and they hid under the covers, kissing and giggling at the newness of feeling each other’s touch.

Nagisa: How is your vacation? I haven’t heard from you in THREE WHOLE DAYS!

Makoto: Sorry, I’ve been kind of busy.

Haru came back from the bathroom and kissed his cheek.

“I’m going to make breakfast. What do you want?” He asked.

Makoto put the phone down and blurted, “Pancakes!”

Haru huffed.

“That’s too much trouble,” he said, crossing his arms across his chest.

“If you make me pancakes, I’ll give you a massage later,” he tempted.

Haru raised an eyebrow.

“You _would_ like to give me a massage,” he grumbled.

Makoto put on his cutest puppy dog eyes and pouted.

“Alright fine!” Haru sighed.

“Yay!” Makoto cheered. It worked every time.

Haru shook his head and leaned down to kiss him. Makoto hummed against him as his phone vibrated.

“Who’s texting you?” Haru said breaking the kiss to grab the phone. He read the message despite Makoto’s cry of protest.

Nagisa: Busy getting busy with Haru? Boy, you know you can’t hide it😏 😜

Haru started typing.

Makoto: Yeah bitch 🍆 💦

After he hit send, Makoto snatched the phone back, reading the text mortified.

“HARUKA!” he yelled and Haru booked it out of the room, snickering.

The typing message bubble popped up on screen and Makoto was at a loss of how he was going to respond to all this.

Meanwhile, Nagisa took a screenshot and relayed the message to the group chat.

Nagisa: HARU GOT THE D THIS IS NOT A DRILL

Asahi: Yeah Haru get it! 😆

Kisumi: Our babies are all grown up 😭

Rei: Are you sure that message was from Makoto? It seems very unlike him to use phallic emoji.

Nagisa: Don’t ruin the moment, Rei! Just sit back and enjoy the show 😜

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Haha FINALLY! Thanks so much for reading. All of you are lovely people :)  
> When I was writing the first kiss scene, I played [ this song ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B83zL6lkq_A) on repeat just to get the fluffy vibe of it.  
> Anyway, more to come soon with more MakoHaru domestic fluff.


	6. Date Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Haru and Makoto go on their first date.

Haru seriously missed Makoto’s massages while he was gone. He always had a way of untangling the knots in his shoulders and back, his hands knowing where to gently coax a muscle back into place and where to press a hard knot into submission.

This was totally worth the mess in the kitchen where Makoto had attempted to flip pancakes and ended up splatting them on the floor—twice. But Makoto was true to his word, so now after the mess had been cleaned, he was lying face-down on the bed with Makoto’s thumbs digging into a rough spot under his left shoulder blade.

“You should be careful not to strain yourself so much when you train. You’re really tight here,” Makoto said.

Sometimes Haru forgot that Makoto had gone back to school for a physical therapy degree. He could have taken a job at a clinic, but Makoto loved being a swim coach so much, he chose to stay with his students, even if he was overqualified and underpaid. 

“Does this hurt?” he asked, pressing on a tender spot deep in his shoulder.

“A little,” Haru admitted.

Maybe he shouldn’t have done that 500-meter open water swim this morning. He was supposed to be on vacation, after all. Makoto spread more lotion on his hands and glided them back to his shoulder. Haru felt the tension slowly melt away. He sighed.

“Better?” Makoto asked.

Haru hummed, feeling like one of those pancakes seeping into the floor. He was falling asleep in the pillows. Makoto moved his thumbs to the base of his neck. Chronically sleeping in an unfamiliar bed left a permanent crick in his neck just below his skull. Gentile fingers found it and soothed the tight muscle with tiny circles. Haru inadvertently let out a moan.

“Haru-chan is so cute,” Makoto chuckled softly.

“Not cute. And drop the -chan,” he said drowsily.

Even face-down, Haru could feel Makoto’s smile on his back. Thumbs journeyed up his spine to his scalp, and the feeling of Makoto running his hands through his hair gave him goosebumps. He wondered what it would feel like to have his hands all over him. Before he could get carried away with that thought, Makoto pressed into the tight spots just behind his temples, effectively silencing his brain. He didn’t even know he held tension there. He felt his jaw and the knot in between his eyebrows loosen as he let out another drawn out exhale.

“Haru-chan was so stressed,” Makoto murmured.

He let that pet name slide, too relaxed to even open his eyes.

“Haru-chan is so beautiful and talented and smart. There’s no reason to be stressed,” he continued, low voice hypnotizing him into waves of sleep.

Haru hadn’t realized how tired he was. He always made sure to get the proper amount of sleep while he was training, but he now realized the quality of his rest was severely lacking. He felt like he could sleep for a hundred years with Makoto’s soothing voice and healing fingers gliding up and down his back. So warm. So calm. Like water.

Haru fell in the deepest sleep he had experienced in years. Makoto planted a kiss on his neck and pulled a blanket over his sleeping lover.

When he woke up, the sun was getting low on the horizon, bathing the bedroom in soft orange light.

“Makoto?” he called, rubbing his eyes.

There was no answer, but he caught sight of a sticky note on the bedside table.

_Gone to visit my parents for a bit. Be back soon_ ♥

_—M_

His chest swelled at the sight of the little heart Makoto had left him. He slipped out of bed and put on one of Makoto’s shirts he had left on the floor. The shirt swallowed him, but he loved the smell of his fabric softener and the sweet citrusy scent of Makoto’s bodywash still lingering there. He took his phone out the open balcony doors and sat on the cushy outdoor couch overlooking the sea.

Haru figured now would be a good time to call Rin. He picked up the Skype call on the third ring.

“’Sup,” Rin greeted.

He was in some café somewhere, no doubt drinking dark roast black.

“I slept with Makoto last night,” Haru deadpanned.

Rin choked on his coffee.

“WHAT?” he coughed into the laptop camera.

“Oh, don’t be so dramatic, we didn’t do anything,” he said.

As Rin sputtered, Haru could see Sosuke in the background carrying a Unicorn Frappuccino toward Rin’s table.

“Nice drink, big boy,” Haru quipped.

“Go jump in the shark pool, Nanase,” he said, taking a sip of the drink through a bendy straw.

“Hey what did I tell you about making death threats at my friends?” Rin scolded.

“He started it. You need better friends,” Sosuke said moving off camera to drink his sugary monstrosity.

“Asshole,” Rin muttered before going back to the subject. “Have you guys talked about your relationship? What did Makoto say?”

Haru was silent. He hadn’t thought of that.

Rin sighed.

“Haruuuuu…”

“I’m getting there, okay? We’re taking it slow,” he retorted.

“That’s all fine and good, but you really need to talk about what the fuck you two are doing. What you want. What _he_ wants. All that shit,” Rin said. “You can’t leave him with a giant fucking question mark for a relationship status. The man needs validation.”

Haru sighed. He had left Makoto questioning for two whole years. He couldn’t do that to him again.

“You’re right,” he said.

“I know I’m right. Just don’t fuck it up,” Rin smirked.

“Jerk,” Haru muttered to himself.

After he and Rin hung up the call, Haru stared worriedly out to sea. For the past 24 hours, things have been great, but it felt like it was all on a timer—as if he would blink and it all would be gone.

He was jolted out of his thoughts by a pair of hands sliding from his shoulders and wrapping around his chest. Makoto leaned down and brought his lips to his temple. Haru felt his body relax but also spark to life.

“Hi,” Makoto murmured.

Haru couldn’t help smiling, turning his head to bring Makoto’s lips to his. He tasted like mango lip balm.

“Hi,” he answered.

Makoto sat down beside him on the bench, reaching his arm behind him and pulling his head to his shoulder. Haru sighed and closed his eyes. He could get used to this.

“The ocean is so pretty when the sun is setting,” Makoto sighed.

Haru brought his knees against his chest and leaned further into Makoto’s side.

“Mmn,” he hummed.

Makoto took his knees and spread them over his lap and leaned down for another lingering kiss. Haru’s life couldn’t get more perfect than this. The more they kissed, the bolder Makoto got, and he liked this new, bold Makoto.

“Haru if we keep this up, we’re going to be late for our dinner reservation,” Makoto mumbled against his lips.

“Don’t care,” he said, sucking on his bottom lip.

Makoto grunted and held him tighter, running his hands through Haru’s dark silky hair and making him sigh into his mouth. He needed more. Haru sat up and climbed over his new lover so he was sitting completely in his lap, legs circling around his hips. Makoto let out a surprised squeak.

“Haru-chaaan,” he chided without much authority behind it.

“Drop the -chan,” he said, mouthing his ear.

Haru had him wrapped around his finger—or legs. The angle was so much better for kissing.

Makoto shivered at the feeling of Haru’s teeth grazing the sensitive skin under his earlobe, his hands running up and down his chest, admiring the taut muscles underneath his shirt.

“Haru I really need to get ready now,” he said, his voice cracking.

Haru couldn’t wait until he could completely unravel Makoto’s nerves—make him beg him not to stop. But that will just have to wait.

“Mmmn…fine” he said with one last lingering kiss on his lips.

Seeing Makoto as a blushing mess was worth letting him go. He scooted off his lap and slipped through the door to go to his own room to change. He should probably move his stuff in the master bedroom. Neither of them had the intension for Haru to go back to using his own room.

Later, Haru looked up from his phone to see Makoto came out of the bedroom with an olive green button down and a light brown textured sport jacket, navy slacks and dress shoes.

“I thought we were going to the ramen place by the train station,” Haru said, feeling under dressed in his ripped jeans, scuffed up white adidas and bomber jacket. 

Makoto rubbed the back of his neck, a blush slowly creeping up to his ears.

“Well I figured I’d make a reservation at someplace nice for our first date,” he said smiling.

Haru’s heart thudded at the words “first date.” It had been a hot minute since he had one of those, and none of them could ever compare to a first date with Makoto Tachibana. He got up from the couch and glided over to the handsome man before him. He reached up and cupped his jaw, leaning up to plant a chaste kiss on his lips. Makoto’s cologne smelled heavenly—warm like cedar and teak wood.

“I’ll go change,” Haru said, unable to wipe the goofy smile from his face.

_Idiot._

He didn’t have many options for formalwear in his tiny suitcase, but he did have one suit he always wore for his entry into meets. The cameras flashed on him so fast he thought he might have a seizure the first time he passed the paparazzi. He paired his navy blazer with a nice dark jean and the black dress shoes he despised because it took up too much room in his suitcase. He could have fit in so many more jammers. He looked at himself in the mirror and deemed he looked acceptable enough for whatever Makoto had planned.

***

Iwatobi may be a small fishing town, but it had its share of upscale dining. Haru and Makoto used to poke fun at the businesspeople in suits and toting designer bags who went to the shiny restaurants in the high-rises overlooking the water. They couldn’t even get in as busboys back then. Now here they were, drinking cabernet on a rooftop watching the sea below, and the waiters knew him by name—Nanase-san, this. Nanase-san, that. Being famous was irritating most of the time, but being served a steady stream of wine was not so bad.

“I hope I’m not making too much of a spectacle. I don’t want to be a bad date,” Haru said after the waiter asked if he needed anything for the fifth time.

“This is not even close to a bad date, and I’ve had my fair share of bad dates,” Makoto chuckled.

“Do tell,” he said taking a sip of wine.

“Well, I went out with this one girl who literally ordered everything on the menu,” he said. “She didn’t even talk to me. She just kept ordering food! She must have had three bags of takeout by the end of it.”

“And you paid for the whole thing?” Haru raised his eyebrows.

“Yes. What else was I supposed to do? I didn’t want to be rude,” he cried.

Haru shook his head. Typical Makoto, giving even the rudest people kindness and respect.

“She got you, alright,” he huffed a laugh.

“That was my entire food budget for two weeks!” he said, facepalming at the memory.

Haru couldn’t help but giggle at his antics. Maybe it was just the wine getting to his head.

“Ok now your turn. What was the worst date you’ve been on?” Makoto asked.

“None of them were too bad, but I did go out with a guy who took an hour to eat a salad,” Haru replied.

“Was he talking a lot?” Makoto asked over his wineglass.

“No. It was a full hour of watching him eat salad,” Haru said.

“Tantalizing,” he laughed.

“Annoying,” he corrected, crossing his arms across his chest and turning his gaze toward the ocean.

They were quiet for a moment, enjoying the spring breeze on the rooftop. Makoto wrung his hands in his cloth napkin, thinking too hard about what he was about to say. 

“Haru…?” he asked. When Haru looked back at him, he was blushing.

“What is it?” he encouraged, giving his lover his full attention. Makoto was silent for a beat and then he took a breath.

“When did you know that you were into guys?” he asked in a small voice as if he were afraid someone would overhear him.

Haru looked up at the string lights above and thought. _When was it?_ He never really thought about it. It was just how he was.

“Middle school, I guess?” he said nonchalantly.

“But how did you know you were gay?” Makoto said.

He shrugged.

“All the people I’ve wanted to be with were guys, so I guess I just connected the dots. Why?”

Makoto looked down at his lap and twisted his napkin again, a blush reaching the tips of his ears.

“I—I don’t know. I just… I’ve never had feelings like this toward anyone before. Like…I went on some dates and they were nice, but I just didn’t like them in _that_ way, you know? Like, I just saw them as friends. Is that weird?” he rambled.

Haru reached across the table, and Makoto dropped the napkin to hold his hands. Haru skated his thumb over the smooth skin of his knuckles.

“Of course not,” he murmured.

Their eyes met, and Haru saw a pain in Makoto he didn’t recognize. Maybe he had hidden it so well, he never noticed. He never wanted him to have to hide again. His green eyes shimmered as he took a breath and continued.

“For the longest time, I thought my brain was broken—I couldn’t ever like anyone in the way that they wanted,” he said. “But then you tried kissing me two years ago, and all of a sudden, I just felt… I wanted you. And I liked you. And I wanted you to like me so bad. I guess you fixed me.”

“There’s nothing wrong with your brain, dummy. And I didn’t ‘fix’ you,” Haru consoled, squeezing his hands.

“Oh, _thanks_!” Makoto huffed.

They both laughed, dispelling the tension in the air between them.

“I’m serious,” Haru continued. “Some people don’t feel romantic or sexual attraction until you get to know a person really well. Rin was like that.”

“Wait…I thought you and Rin were a thing in high school,” Makoto said, eyebrows raised.

“Do you really think Rin and I could be in a stable relationship? We would have crashed and burned in three seconds,” he said.

“Okay, true,” Makoto acquiesced.

“But seriously Rin wasn’t interested in anyone until Sosuke showed up. Why it had to be Sosuke beats me, but the heart wants what it wants I guess,” Haru muttered.

“I guess it does,” he said, fixing his gaze on their entwined hands. Then his smile fell. “I just want to apologize.”

“For what?” Haru asked, taken aback.

Makoto pursed his lips and looked up to meet his eyes. The pain was there again.

“We could have had all this sooner. We could have been together this whole time if I hadn’t freaked out when you tried to kiss me,” he said.

Haru held on tighter to his hands. The guilt was heavy on his heart, too.

“No, it’s not your fault,” he consoled gently. “I should have talked to you first. We just weren’t ready.”

“No, but we are now,” Makoto said with a bashful smile.

“Yes,” he replied with a smile of his own.

Haru brought his hands to his lips and kissed them, unable to say anything else under Makoto’s endearing gaze. Makoto was so fucking precious.

“So I guess I have a thing for dark-haired, moody, world-record-holding Olympic freestyle swimmers who have girly names,” Makoto quipped.

“I am a very niche type,” Haru said.

They both laughed and released each other’s hands just as the waiter brought out steaming plates of fish, vegetables and rice.

“Enjoy your meal, Nanase-san and guest,” the waiter said.

Haru tried not to seem irritated at how he had addressed Makoto as his guest. He was the one taking _him_ on this date in the first place. The waiter lingered.

“I’m so sorry to intrude, but my son is taking swim lessons and loves watching you race…”

Haru put on a smile, plucked the pen out of the waiter’s apron, and started writing on the back of the drink menu.

“What is your son’s name?” he asked.

The waiter perked up and gave him the name. He wrote his standard “Keep up the good work!” message and signed his name. The waiter bowed deeply when he handed the piece of paper back.

“That was nice of you,” Makoto said when the waiter scurried excitedly away.

“It happens,” he shrugged.

They spent the next half hour devouring the multiple plates of gourmet food before them. It had been so long since Haru had eaten a decent mackerel dish—that was one of the main things he missed about Japan.

They were both happily sipping green tea when the waiter came back and set the check in front of Haru. he picked it up, fishing for his wallet.

“Nope! I’m paying. You promised,” Makoto protested, reaching across the table attempting to snatch it from him.

“Makoto, really. It’s fine,” he said. He knew how expensive this place was—more than Makoto would have been able to afford.

“If you don’t give me the check right now, I’ll tell Nagisa that in the fourth grade you wore your mom’s bra as a hat during the school Halloween parade,” he threatened.

Haru scoffed, “Go ahead and call him right now, then.”

Makoto grumbled and changed tactics, leaning his body closer to his, mischievous glint in his eye.

“I’ll tell him the whole class called you ‘boobie head’ for a month. Who knows what he’ll do with that information,” he said with a wicked smile.

Haru froze, and his eye twitched. _Shit_. _I forgot about that_.

He cursed himself for knowing this man for so long. He put the check back on the table, but before he slid it toward Makoto, he had a preposition of his own.

“Let me pay for the drinks or I’ll tell your mom about that time in high school when you got so scared during the March of the Penguins movie that you peed your pants, and I had to steal a pair of whitey-tidies for you from the nurse’s office,” he backfired.

Makoto’s entire face turned beet red.

“The penguin was being attacked by that walrus! It was a suspenseful film!” Makoto exclaimed.

“Sure,” Haru rolled his eyes. He knew he had won.

***

As they were leaving the restaurant, a short, stocky man with balding hair stopped him. He was the owner of the restaurant and couldn’t help but profusely thank the Olympic swimmer for coming to his establishment. Haru wasn’t listening. Makoto was getting handsy. He tried to keep his cool in front of this man as Makoto’s hand crept from his back down to his ass. Bold Makoto was going to make him lose his fucking mind.

Finally the man gave his final bow and the couple tumbled out into the street. Haru grabbed his hand and turned the corner into a dark alleyway, Makoto swinging after him. They collided against the brick wall, restless lips finally meeting with passion. Haru ran his hands under Makoto’s sport coat and pulled him closer by his trim waist, and Makoto pressed him harder against the wall. Makoto cupped his hands around his face as if he were made of delicate porcelain, but his lips crashed into his, shattering the remains of Haru’s resolve. He snuck his thigh in between Makoto’s legs ground against the hardening bulge in his pants.

“Haru…” Makoto moaned, moving his hands from his face to his hips.

Suddenly the restaurant door opened, and they heard the voices of a group of men chatting and laughing spilling out onto the street.

They broke the kiss, still mere inches apart. Their breath mingled in the humid air.

“Let’s go home,” Haru whispered, loving how the words felt on his lips.

_Home_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am much better at writing awkward pining than smut. pray for me lol


	7. Everything He Wanted

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Haru and Makoto come home from their first date and get to third base.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whoops my hand slipped.   
> Not a lot of plot in this one. Just some smut.

Everything happened so fast. One minute Makoto had Haru pinned against the brick wall of the restaurant, then they were making out in the entryway of the cottage the next.

He had sat on the bench by the door to take his shoes off when Haru split his legs open and knelt between them. They kissed passionately while Haru unlaced his shoes and slipped them off his feet as if he were a servant. His hands glided up his body, leaving behind a trail of goosebumps, until he reached his shoulders. Haru peeled Makoto’s jacket off without even breaking the kiss. Haru’s lips were hot and needy on his as he reached back down and fiddled with the latch of his belt buckle.

_Holy shit... Holy shit!_

Makoto’s dick was pulsing. He had never wanted anyone more in his life than he wanted Haru at that moment.

“Haru…” Makoto moaned as he sucked on his bottom lip. “I’ve never… um…”

Haru pulled back and gave him such an endearing look, it made him blush. Slowly he reached up and kissed his forehead.

“We don’t have to do anything if you don’t want to,” he murmured.

“I want to!” Makoto mentally slapped himself for how quickly the words fell out.

“But maybe just not this… right now,” he said more evenly.

Haru smiled up at him, and the anxiousness he felt seconds before dissipated under his gaze.

“Okay then,” he said.

Haru stood up, smoothed the front of his jeans, and then held his hand out. Makoto took it and let himself be pulled up into Haru’s strong arms. They shared a sweetly slow kiss before Haru gently guided him to the bedroom.

Makoto felt the back of his thighs hit the edge of the bed, and Haru lightly pushed him backward until he lay down in the nest of pillows. Haru climbed on top and straddled his legs, sliding his hands under his shirt and dragging his fingers up his ribs. It tickled a little, but then his thumb grazed his left nipple and he gasped so sharply Haru stopped his trail of kisses on his neck to ask if he was okay, to which Makoto nodded fervently because he was pretty sure his voice was broken. 

Haru resumed his journey to his jawline, circling his nipple with one hand and combing his fingers through his hair with the other. The sensation sent his head spinning. Everything burned, but in the most pleasant way.

Haru sat up and helped him pull the shirt over his head before discarding his own. He had seen Haru shirtless so many times before—hell, he’d seen Haru naked—but this was so different. Haru came back down to frame his face with his forearms, their lips meeting again careening toward desperation. He ran his hands over the knobs of Haru’s spine and felt the muscles in his back flex and shift as he rocked into his hips. Haru canted his hips down and pressed his erection against his through their pants. They both moaned, their kissed becoming more heated.

Haru placed his hand at his navel, fingers stopping just above the waistband of his slacks. He broke the kiss to look down at him.

“Can I touch you?” he asked.

Makoto swallowed nervously.

“O-okay,” he stuttered.

Haru smiled brightly, and honestly it was the most beautiful thing Makoto had ever seen. He couldn’t believe this was happening. This wasn’t happening. This was all one big wet dream right?

Haru slid his hand down, and nope this was not a dream. He bit his knuckles to hold back an embarrassingly loud moan as soft, nimble fingers gripped his cock and started an agonizingly slow rhythm.

Haru pushed his knuckles away from his face and replaced them with his lips. He gasped into them as he picked up the pace.

“Oh god, Haruka,” he moaned against his lips.

Haru broke the kiss and murmured in his ear, “Is it good?” to which Makoto replied by thrusting his hips up into his hand, his head thrown back in a silent cry. His orgasm hit him so fast he got whiplash.

He would have been mortified by how quickly he just climaxed without either of them taking their pants off, but the way Haru looked at him had left him boneless. Makoto fell back on the pillows with a drawn out sigh.

“Sorry,” he mumbled.

Haru shifted them so they were both lying on their sides facing each other.

“There’s nothing to be sorry about,” he said, hugging him close.

“But you’re still…” Makoto said, eyeing Haru’s half-hard bulge pressing against his thigh.

“I don’t care,” he said, softly kissing his hair. “Besides, we have plenty of time to try other things later.”

“Other things?” Makoto’s eyes widened as he sat up on his elbows.

Haru sat up and stretched his arms above his head and slid off the bed.

“I’m going to take a shower,” he said giving him a lingering look.

“Okay…oh!”

Haru giggled and took his hand, leading him to the bathroom.

The hot water poured down, filling the small tiled room with steam.

Haru’s lips were slippery and restless, moving from his lips to his jaw to his neck and moaning into his ear. It was the hottest thing he had ever heard. He was hard again already.

“I want to feel you,” he breathed which sent a surge straight to Makoto’s dick. _Fuck_.

Instinct took over as Makoto pushed Haru against the tile wall with a guttural moan, pressing himself all the way against him. Haru hooked his leg around Makoto’s lower back and Makoto grabbed a fistful of his ass for leverage. He bucked forward and their dicks slid together, sending a spark of pleasure up his spine.

Haru gasped a curse.

“Haruka, tell me what to do,” he panted.

“Mako…” he moaned on his lips. Haru guided his hand from where it was clawing the wall to the hot space in between their bodies, and then he understood what Haru wanted.

His hand was large enough to circle around both of them, and the feeling of Haru’s most intimate parts against his was so overwhelmingly erotic. Haru’s leg tightened around his waist as he bucked against him. He gave an experimental pump, and they both doubled over each other moaning. He suddenly couldn’t get enough. Makoto threw caution to the wind and jerked them tight and fast. Haru’s nails clawed against his back.

“Shit—right there—like that—don’t stop— _Fuck_ ” Haru whimpered.

Who knew Haru was so vocal?

Makoto hiked Haru’s leg higher up his back for more leverage, but in the process, he accidentally pressed his middle finger against the rim of his ass. Haru gave a shuttering cry and came in his hand.

“Gorgeous,” he couldn’t help but gasp.

“Mako…hurry,” he moaned. 

He picked up the pace. Haru writhed under him, overstimulated, but still begging him not to stop. He didn’t think he could if he tried. Something had snapped in him. Normally careful and gentile in nature, Makoto was now thoroughly enjoying the sight of Haru being torn apart nerve by nerve. He wanted to watch him come over and over.

He pushed his finger deeper past the tight muscles of the rim and curled them in time with his pumping fist. Haru’s knee gave out, but Makoto was quick to press him farther up the wall for support. Haru wrapped his other leg around him, grinding himself down on Makoto’s finger desperately.

Makoto had no idea what he was doing, but Haru seemed to like it.

“Mako…Mako…Mako,” he cried, breathing hard.

Water streamed down his face, but Makoto could see tears dripping from his eyes.

“I’ve got you, baby. I’ve got you,” he soothed, kissing him.

He wasn’t going to last much longer. Three hard thrusts later, he was coming harder than he had ever before in his life, his face buried in the crook of Haru’s neck. He gripped Haru’s ass so hard it would leave finger-shaped bruises later. He buried a second finger deeper into him.

Haru _screamed_. He was about to back away and apologize for hurting him, but he ground down hard on his fingers. He had inadvertently brushed Haru’s prostate. He pushed in deeper, trying to hit that same spot.

“Haruka, where does it feel good?” he breathed against his wet skin.

“Up more—there! More…harder… _harder_!” he cried.

He thrusted his fingers roughly against that spot, imagining what it would be like to do that with his dick. The thought shocked and excited him at the same time. He redoubled his efforts of finger-fucking Haru with abandon.

Haru dug his fingers into his soaked hair and pulled hard, and if he hadn’t already come twice, he would have been totally aroused by it.

“I’m close,” Haru trembled, ass clenching against him.

Makoto crashed his lips to his and then pulled back to watch his lover come a second time.

The room was now silent save for their breathing the running shower which had now grown lukewarm. Haru gingerly lowered his legs to the ground, wrapping his arms around his neck to support. Makoto reached back and turned off the spray and placed his hands on Haru’s hips, steadying his swaying form.

“Are you alright?” he asked.

Haru turned his head from where it was placed on his clavicle to look up at him and nod sleepily.

They hobbled out of the shower, toweled themselves dry and went straight to bed, not even bothering to put on pajamas. Haru lay his head on his chest, and his bare skin was warm against his, making the bed ten times more comfortable. 

“Haru, that was…” he started, but Haru cut him off with a kiss. He held on tighter to him, amazed that he finally had everything he ever wanted.

“I didn’t expect you’d finger me today. I didn’t even know you knew how to do that,” Haru smirked.

Makoto chuckled bashfully.

“I guess I’m good at following directions,” he said.

Haru huffed a laugh and kissed him again slowly.

“Idiot.”

***

Haru and Makoto were wrapped up in each other in deep sleep when Haru’s phone started vibrating where it was plugged into the wall on the bedside table. Makoto blinked awake and untangled himself from Haru’s sleeping frame to see “Azuma” written on the call screen.

“Haru…Haru your coach is calling you,” he mumbled sleepily, shaking Haru’s shoulder.

Haru groaned and buried himself deeper in the duvet.

“I told him not to contact me on my vacation,” he moaned.

“What if it’s something important?”

Haru wove a hand, already half asleep. The phone stopped vibrating and both boys drifted back asleep…until it started vibrating again.

“Haru, I think you should pick up,” Makoto said, not even opening his eyes.

Haru gave the most exasperated sigh of all time and reached over Makoto’s sleeping frame to hit the speaker button.

“What?” Haru answered.

If Makoto had the energy, he would have scolded Haru for being rude.

“Good morning to you too,” Azuma droned through the speaker. “Say, Haru, I’ve been thinking about adding Australian inspired meals to my food blog. It’ll be a special section called ‘Udon Down Under’.”

“You called me at 5 in the morning to talk about your food blog? Really?” Haru scoffed, about two seconds away from hanging up. Makoto couldn’t help but giggle quietly. Haru kicked him in the foot.

“Ah, but you have to admit it’s a clever name,” Azuma said.

“Yes, fine. It’s a good name,” Haru sighed. “Now what is it?”

“I knew it!” Azuma said to himself.

Makoto smiled. Somehow Haru had found a coach just as eccentric as he was.

“Anyway, I got a call from a buddy of mine who runs the Australian Open Water meet. The guy swimming for Japan dropped out. Now Team Japan is scrambling to find another marathon swimmer who can take on those Australian guys. What do you say? Are you in?”

“I’ve only ever competed in the pool,” Haru said, but without protest.

“Listen, kid. If you want to really master your skills, you gotta branch out. Just try it,” he said.

Haru was silent for a moment. Makoto was close enough to see the conflict in his eyes. He smiled and caressed his cheek.

“Go,” he whispered. Haru placed his hand on top of his. _Thank you_ , his eyes said.

“Alright, I’ll do it,” He said.

“Great! I’ll book you on the next flight to Sydney,” Azuma said.

The phone line went dead, and Haru sighed.

“Time to get up,” he grumbled. 


	8. A Trip to Australia

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Haru convinces Makoto to come to Australia with him to see him race. Shenanigans ensue.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back. Sorry it has taken a while. Life is crazy.  
> Anyway, enjoy this new chapter of MakoHaru feels!

It seemed like every time Haru got comfortable in one place, he was uprooted and planted in another. He tried preparing himself for the inevitable, but now his roots were tangled so tight with Makoto’s, there was no way being torn away wasn’t going to hurt. Haru was tired of hurting.

“Come with me to Australia,” he said as Makoto started blinking awake.

They were still in bed cuddled together under the duvet. Grey morning light started to peek through the curtains.

“Mmn…What?” Makoto mumbled, rubbing his eye with fist.

Haru couldn’t help but smile at how cute he was in the early morning. He leaned toward him and kissed his forehead.

“You know what I said,” he murmured.

“Mmm…I don’t want to get in your way,” Makoto said.

Haru tisked and ran his fingers through Makoto’s bed head.

“Idiot. I want you around,” he said, satisfied by the way Makoto started blushing.

“Haruuuu…” he moaned as he nestled closer and captured his lips with his.

The kiss was slow and sweet. Haru felt a warm glow from where their naked bodies touched.

“Ok…if you insist,” Makoto murmured on his lips.

Haru smiled. He always had a knack for persuading Makoto to get what he wanted, but this new tactic was the most effective method yet.

They spent the rest of the morning making out…they could pack later.

***

That afternoon, they landed in Sydney and took a taxi to the aquatics center. He had been texting Rin all day, and the feisty redhead was itching for a rematch after Haru had beat him at their last freestyle race.

When they entered the pool area, Sosuke was pacing the pool next to Rin who was about to finish swimming laps. Rin must have caught sight of them and hurried to the wall.

“Sloppy,” Sosuke mumbled.

Rin splashed his sneakers and pulled himself out of the pool.

“It’s about damn time you come to my turf, fish brain,” Rin shouted.

Haru scoffed and Rin laughed as he came over to them with a towel around his neck.

“Good to see you, Rin,” Makoto greeted, making up for Haru’s silence.

“Makoto! You’re the same as ever!” he said, giving him a shoulder pat before turning to Haru.

“So, are we gonna race or what?” he challenged.

For people who didn’t know Haru, his expression would look unchanged from his neutral look, but Rin could see the competitive glint in his eye. Haru took off his jacket and started toward the pool, but a strong hand caught his shoulder.

“Woah, Haru. You need to save your strength for tomorrow,” Makoto interrupted.

“And Rin, you need to take it easy. You’ve been pushing too hard at practice lately, and you’re not allowed to get injured on my watch,” Sosuke added.

Both swimmers’ shoulders dropped in disappointment, but their lovers were right. If they raced each other, there was no holding back.

Rin and Haru settled for lounging on the bleachers instead. Makoto had wandered off with Sosuke, reeled in by a discussion about a coaching workshop Sosuke had just attended. Haru watched after him, admiring at how at-ease Makoto was around everyone.

“You know,” Rin started. “I knew you were far gone before, but you’re _really_ far gone, aren’t you.”

“Shut up,” Haru mumbled, looking to the side to hide his blush.

Rin laughed, and slapped him on the back, making Haru jolt upright.

“I’m just saying…don’t let that one get away. Not like last time,” he said.

“I know,” Haru sighed. “I just don’t want to fuck it up.”

He looked to Makoto, who was laughing at something Sosuke had said. It was that cute laugh where he tried to hide his smile with his fist, but that smile was too bright to be hidden.

A year ago, he had nothing to lose, but now that he finally had Makoto, he was afraid of losing everything.

“Just be honest with him. That way, if you fuck it up, you’ll at least be sincere,” Rin shrugged.

“Great. Thanks,” Haru said rolling his eyes.

He really hoped it wouldn’t get to that point.

Sosuke dropped them off at the hotel, and Haru was already exhausted by the time they reached their room. Traveling was always tiresome. That evening, they ordered room service for dinner and cuddled as they watched Australian reality TV in bed.

Haru drifted in and out of sleep to the drone of the TV. It was nice having Makoto there to calm his nerves the night before his race. Plus, his back rubs were the best.

The next morning before the sun even rose, Haru was up and ready for the race. Even though it was early, he always got an adrenaline rush from competition days. The same could not be said about Makoto. The poor man shuffled from the bedroom to the bathroom like a zombie. Haru told him he could go back to bed and just meet him at the finish line later, but he insisted on seeing Haru start the race.

He had to admit the thought of Makoto cheering him on at the start excited him. He wanted to make Makoto proud of the life he had made for himself.

They took the hotel shuttle to the athlete’s village near the start. Part of the Parramatta River was blocked off for the race, and small boats were already gathering to watch. Though it wasn’t the ocean, Haru’s eyes still shimmered at the wide expanse of water before him.

“Haru-chan’s always itching to get in the water,” Makoto chuckled.

Haru smiled and playfully bumped his shoulder against him. Makoto steadied his to-go cup of burnt hotel coffee and laughed at Haru’s pouting face.

“Are you nervous? This is your first major open water race,” he said.

“Not really…” he said, turning back to the water.

Honestly, he had no expectations for the race. He just didn’t want to fuck up and Makoto think he had wasted the two years they were apart on mediocre swimming. But deep down, he knew Makoto always saw the best in him—even if he did abandon him.

He took Makoto’s hand and interlaced their fingers. Makoto blushed at the ears at Haru’s sudden PDA, but he smiled that special smile reserved for only him. This was much better than winning any race. As long as he had Makoto’s support, he could be the happiest loser on earth.

Soon, Azuma showed up and led him toward the starting block. Makoto waved goodbye and wished him good luck before disappearing into the crowd. Azuma tried to give him tips, but he couldn’t think straight. He was always a little bullheaded on race days. Someone on a loudspeaker gave the last call for racers. He sucked in a breath. No backing out now. Haru stepped on the starting block, and his brain quieted. This part was automatic for him now.

“Take your marks…” then the gun fired, and he was off.

In the pool, the water was tamed, bound by concrete walls, but here it was free. Haru rode with the waves, feeling them crash over his back as he sped past the competition. He couldn’t see or feel them—they might as well have been on a different planet. He imagined he was swimming in a pod of dolphins, the great expanse of the river, and past that, the ocean ahead of him. He felt like he could swim across the world.

In his daydream, he spotted the black and white shape of an orca in the distance, gently gliding through the water. He heard him calling to him. He sped up to catch up with him. That was when he heard Makoto’s voice above the water. He snapped out of his reverie and saw that he was almost at the checkpoint where a line of support kayaks bobbed along with water and supplies for each racer. He assumed Azuma would be there yelling at him to check his speed and not burn out like an idiot, but no. When he came up for air, he saw Makoto waving and cheering for him from his own kayak. The sight was even better than swimming in a pod of dolphins.

“Go Haru! You got this!” he cheered.

He took the pouch of water taped to the oar and then tapped the side of the boat as he came out for air. For a split second, their eyes met. Haru’s heart was soaring.

The rest of the race was a blur. All he could think about was how Makoto was with him right now, watching him race and cheering him on. It was as if he had been swimming around with a deadweight all this time and Makoto had just lifted it off him. His pace got faster—faster than he had ever swam even after already swimming for 10 kilometers. He passed a pack of swimmers, but he didn’t notice. He just wanted to get to shore to Makoto.

Above the surface he could hear the roar of the crowd, but Makoto’s voice was all he heard. He was calling his name. In one last burst of energy, he raced past the finish line, the crowd going wild over the Japanese swimmer who just out-swam all those marathon swimming champions on his first try.

He floated toward the platform panting hard, but he couldn’t help but light up when Makoto pushed his way past all the swim coaches to the front to pull him out of the water. Haru reached for his hand, and Makoto lifted him onto the platform into a crushing hug.

“I’m so proud of you,” he cried.

Haru would remember this moment as one of the greatest moments of his life.

The moment ended too soon. Makoto had to get off the platform and wait with all the other friends and families of the racers. Haru chuckled at the thought of timid Makoto tricking security into thinking he was on the coaching staff and forcing his way on the deck so he could pull him out of the water.

Then he was surrounded by flashing cameras and loud reporters asking him stupid questions—the usual fanfare he never cared for. Haru won second place at the event, which captured the attention of both the Japanese press and the coach of the open water Olympic team. As he was finishing up with a TV interview where the reporter was trying to get him to explain what “I swim free” meant, Azuma pulled him away (thank god) and introduced him to the coach.

“Really solid performance out there, Nanase,” he said.

“Thank you, sir,” he said politely, but he really just wanted to get back to the hotel so he could snuggle with Makoto.

“How would you like to train with my team? We’ve got meets every month all over the world. You’ll never be bored,” he said.

He looked at Azuma and then back at the coach. He hesitated.

“Thank you for the offer, but I would have to think about it,” he said.

Azuma raised an eyebrow. A year ago, Haru wouldn’t have even blinked at the offer. He would have just gone for it.

Haru knew his coach would grill him later, but Azuma spared him.

***

With cameras still milling around, Haru and Makoto walked through the crowds with a friendly distance between them. Haru didn’t care one way or another if people knew he was gay, but he didn’t want to assume the same of Makoto.

Finally, Sosuke pulled up the curb in his black SUV and picked them up. Haru was tired of dealing with so many people, so he was looking forward to a quiet ride back to the hotel. When he crawled into the back seat, Rin nearly launched himself over the middle console to grab him.

“What the fuck was that?! Are you fucking kidding me?! You’re a fucking monster, Haru!” Rin shouted, shaking his shoulders.

So much for that quiet ride.

“Get off!” Haru protested, but Rin ignored him.

“The part where you just fucking _blasted_ through those guys at the end—unreal…” Rin continued, and then proceeded to narrate the entire race—complete with sound effects— as if describing an action movie Haru had missed on TV.

He shared a knowing glance with Makoto, who covered his mouth as he giggled. Rin was definitely as bad—if not worse—as Nagisa when it came to a good race.

Haru finally got his peace when they got to the hotel. They passed the lobby full of athletes meeting up and talking about the race, and Haru felt several pairs of eyes on him. He sped walked to the elevator, Makoto trailing behind, and mashed the up button. Finally, the elevator doors opened, and when they closed behind them, Haru let out a sigh of relief.

Makoto sidestepped closer to him and took his hand silently, respecting his need for a moment of quiet. Makoto always knew what Haru needed.

When they got to their room, Makoto wrapped his arms around Haru’s waist, leaning down to give him a sweet kiss.

Makoto pulled back and smiled down at him. He felt a blush creep up this neck to his ears.

“Haru-chan is amazing,” Makoto beamed. Haru turned his head away.

“Drop the -chan,” he mumbled. “I wouldn’t have done so well without your help.”

Makoto wrapped him tighter in his arms, and Haru rested his head on his collar.

“Anytime,” Makoto said, and that made him smile.

“How did you get on the boat, though?” Haru asked.

“Oh! Azuma helped, actually,” he said as if he just now remembered. “He told them I was your support crew.”

Haru huffed a laugh. That old man always threw curveballs his way just to see how he would react. He guessed it paid off. 

“Well, he’s not wrong,” Haru said.

They both laughed.

Haru sat down on the bed, and Makoto started running his fingers through his dark hair, massaging his scalp.

“Are you tired?” he asked, but the way he asked it made Haru perk up.

“No,” he said, looking up at the beautiful man above him.

Makoto blushed and fidgeted nervously under his gaze.

“Do you want to…” he started.

Haru raised an eyebrow and kissed one of Makoto’s hands at his temple, signaling for him to go on.

Makoto kneeled before him, running his hands up his thighs. Haru shivered.

“I’ve never done this before, so I’m probably no good…”

Haru’s brain short-circuited. How could Makoto possibly go from cute to downright sexy in two milliseconds?

“Baby, help me get these off,” he murmured, tugging on Haru’s shorts.

Still reeling from Makoto calling him by a pet name, he lifted his hips and Makoto slid his pants and boxers off and tossed them away. He surged forward and kissed him as he brought his hands under his shirt and pulled it over his head.

Being completely naked in front of a fully clothed Makoto was a power dynamic he didn’t know he desired. Makoto was here to take care of _him._ It made him feel extremely vulnerable but incredibly aroused.

Makoto’s body was flush against his in between his legs, his mouth traveling from the sensitive skin of his neck down his pecks and then teasing his nipple.

“hah—Mako” he moaned as he used his teeth to lightly scrape the nub and then soothing it with his tongue. Where the fuck did Makoto learn to do that?

Makoto continued his open-mouthed kissing down the taut muscles of his abs to the soft skin at his navel, stopping at the V of his hips where white skin gave way to dark hair.

“Is this okay?” he asked.

“ _Fuck,_ ” Haru moaned.

“I’ll take that as a yes,” he breathily laughed, standing back up to kiss him languidly on the mouth.

Gently, Makoto guided him to lay down on the bed and he kneeled over him, eyes glazed over with desire. Haru could see the outline of Makoto’s erect dick in his sweatpants. But the view was only temporary. Makoto got down on his forearms to kiss him again, pressing him comfortingly into the pillows, one of his hands skating down to his inner thigh and stroking the sensitive skin near his dick.

Haru let out a whine, louder than he intended. Makoto broke the kiss and cupped his cheek in his other hand.

“You make the prettiest sounds, Haruka,” he said. His hand on his thigh traveled to cup his balls. Haru’s breath hitched before he let out another low moan.

“You’re such a fucking tease,” he rasped.

Makoto laughed, resting his head against his stomach and continuing his line of kisses downward. By the time he reached his thighs, Haru was embarrassingly hard and pink. He needed Makoto to do something now or he was going to explode. Makoto must have read his mind because he gripped the base of his dick, giving an experimental jerk.

“Mako—” he whined, but Makoto was staring at his dick, gears turning in his head.

He was overthinking it again.

“Makoto, honey, come here,” he said, and Makoto obeyed, giving him a chaste peck on the lips. Even when trying to be dominant, he still could switch back to meekness in a second. He held his face in his hands so he couldn’t look away.

“This has been wonderful, but you don’t have to do anything else if you don’t want to,” Haru said.

“I want to…I want to make you feel good,” Makoto protested.

“I know you do, but I don’t want you to do anything just for my sake. I need you to be okay with it too,” he said.

Makoto closed his eyes and sighed and Haru ran his fingers through his hair, massaging his scalp. When he opened his eyes, there was a dark energy and almost a mischievous look there.

“I want you to come in my mouth,” Makoto said deeply.

His voice went straight to his dick. Holy shit that was hot.

“O-okay,” he stuttered despite trying to keep his cool. He was pretty sure Makoto could make him come without even touching him at this point.

Makoto crashed his lips onto his, slicking his mouth and lips with his tongue. Haru gripped his hair tight in between his trembling fingers as Makoto’s hand resumed palming his dick. He pulled back to let Haru breathe.

“May I continue?” he asked, and he nodded, his body already trembling all over with anticipation.

Makoto placed a small kiss on his forehead before diving back down. He mouthed over the juncture of his hip and crotch and bit down hard, marking him and then laving the pain away with his tongue. How was Makoto so damn good with his tongue?

That thought flew from his mind when he felt that tongue swipe his cockhead. Haru convulsed at the sensation, clawing his fingers into Makoto’s hair with one hand and gripping the sheets for dear life with the other. His whole body had turned into one giant bundle of nerves. He had never been this sensitive before.

Makoto looked up at him seductively as he probed the slit with the tip of his tongue, releasing a fresh bead of precum, all while keeping full eye contact. Haru threw back his head and moaned into the pillows.

“You taste salty…and musky,” Makoto said curiously.

“ _Oh my god_. Idiot. This is not a fucking wine tasting— _ah!_ ” Haru cried, interrupted by Makoto sucking the tip of his cock in his mouth.

He tightened his grip in his hair and tried not to buck up into his mouth. Makoto pressed his arm across his hips to hold him still while his other hand squeezed the base of his cock and his mouth enveloped the tip. Slowly he lowered his head down and hummed, sending vibrations through his crotch and up his spine.

“Oh fuck—Mako!” he wailed.

Haru lost control of his voice as Makoto hollowed out his cheeks and sucked him hard. He wrapped his legs around his upper back and pulled his hair harder, trying to pull Makoto closer. He responded by bobbing his head up and down the shaft, swallowing almost the entirety of his dick. It was too much. The sensations were overstimulating, and his heaving breaths couldn’t keep up with the unrelenting pace of Makoto’s bobbing head. Makoto moved his hand from his cock to squeeze his balls, his mouth taking him even deeper than before.

“I’m gonna— _oh_ —I’m close” Haru moaned. Makoto’s eyes widened with determination. He pulled his mouth all the way off before swallowing him back down again, picking up the pace. Haru wailed and bucked his hips against his strong forearm. The hand palming his sac reached farther back, his middle finger pressing the tight ring of muscle of his ass, and that sent Haru careening over the edge.

“Mak—oh god!” he cried, spilling his seed in Makoto’s eager mouth.

Makoto continued to work him through his orgasm, sucking him dry. Haru lay there trembling as if he had touched a live wire, but in the most satisfying way. His blushing chest rose and fell as he panted, sweat glistening off his bare skin. Makoto released his cock with a vulgar pop and took in the scene before him. Haru was completely blissed out, his dark hair wispy against the pillows, his skin rosy and raw, his lips wet and parted as he breathed.

He adjusted his dick in his sweatpants, and that’s when Haru noticed the dark spot where Makoto had come in his pants. The thought of Makoto getting off just by giving him head made his breath catch. This man was going to be the death of him.

“Where the absolute fuck did you learn how to do that?” Haru rasped, voice cracking from all the screaming.

Makoto ran a hand through his wild hair and smiled bashfully.

“I watched a lot of porn while you were away—like _, a lot_ of porn,” he said.

Haru laughed, and Makoto chuckled with him. He shucked away his dirty pants and underwear and his sweaty shirt before coming to Haru’s side in the pillows. Haru rubbed a splotch of his release from Makoto’s cheek and kissed him, the taste of himself mingling on his tongue. Makoto hugged him close, and finally Haru’s body relaxed in the crook of his neck. 

That night, while wrapped in Makoto’s arms, Haru couldn’t sleep. He was pulled into two directions—one future with his global swimming career and the other with Makoto.


	9. Closet Shenanigans

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nagisa and Rei come to visit Haru and Makoto in Iwatobi during the last days of their vacation. Shenanigans ensue...again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! I really wanted to have fun with this chapter, so it kind of diverges from the plot a little, but oh well. Enjoy!

Though they enjoyed visiting Rin in Sydney, Haru was anxious to get back to Iwatobi. Makoto could tell something was eating at him, but he didn’t want to push him. Haru always told him what he needed to know when he was ready…even if it took years.

Now they were lounging on the beach outside of their cottage, not a care in the world. Makoto smiled down at Haru, who was asleep with his head resting on his thigh. He combed his fingers gently through his hair, tucking a loose strand behind his ear.

Growing up, Haru had the tendency to swim himself to exhaustion, often falling asleep in random places after practice. Even as a small child, Haru would swim in the ocean as long as he could tread water. He remembered Haru’s mom taking them both to the beach to burn off some of Haru’s energy. It kept him out of trouble, and Makoto didn’t mind wading in the waves as long as Haru was there to protect him. The day always ended with Mrs. Nanase carrying a sleeping Haru up the shrine steps.

Now here they were years later, even as it seemed like everything had changed, Haru seemed to stubbornly stay the same.

But things were changing, and a wave a sadness hit Makoto. Haru would have to leave soon—off to do great things around the world. He was so proud of him—watching him race in Australia proved that—but the way Haru was snuggled against his legs and holding him tight made Makoto want this vacation to never end.

He snapped out of his thoughts when he heard someone calling him.

“Hey! Mako-chan! Haru-chan! Hi!” Nagisa shouted from down the beach.

The peace and quiet was nice, but he guessed it would have to wait.

“Haru…” He murmured, gently shaking his shoulder.

Haru groaned and kept his eyes closed.

“Haru, time to get up. Our friends are here,” he said, shaking him again.

Haru swatted his hand away and curled more into himself.

“I don’t want to be friends anymore,” He grumbled.

Makoto chuckled, which earned a side glare and a pout from Haru.

By now, Nagisa had approached the couple and fanned his beach towel out beside them, blowing sand in Haru’s face.

“Blegh! Nagisa!” Haru complained, rubbing his eyes.

_Poor Haru_ , Makoto amused to himself. Naptime was over.

“Sorry, sorry,” Nagisa said as Haru finally sat up.

Meanwhile, Rei caught up with his rambunctious boyfriend, arms full of bags.

“Sorry we were late, you guys. Rei couldn’t decide what swimsuit to wear,” Nagisa said.

“What?! You were the one who insisted on stopping for Iwatobi bread on the way here,” Rei objected, dropping all the bags on the ground with a thud.

Nagisa leaped toward his boyfriend and hugged his arm, nuzzling his blonde head against his neck. Rei looked unamused.

“It’s okay, babe. It looks like Mako-chan and Haru-chan didn’t mind us being late,” he said winking at Makoto.

Makoto gulped, feeling his cheeks blush.

Nagisa knew he had finally gotten together with Haru—he had texted him that first night they kissed—but something told him that Nagisa had something up his sleeve, and that made Makoto anxious. Why else would he come all the way from Tokyo just to see them for a weekend? He didn’t want to reveal too much and upset Haru. Haru was a very private person, after all.

He breathed a sigh of relief when Nagisa became amused when Rei sat down and slathered way too much sunscreen on his face.

“You laugh now, but you’re next,” Rei said before wrangling a giggling Nagisa and smudging SPF 100 on his back. Makoto didn’t even know SPF 100 existed.

Haru quietly sighed, trying to hide his small smile. He really did miss his friends. Makoto caressed his bare back, admiring how his muscles contracted with the touch of his hand. He leaned back into his touch, which made Makoto’s heart leap. He would never get tired of touching Haru.

Haru turned and looked at him with a smirk and fire in his eyes. They had been together for a short time, but Makoto always felt weak when he looked at him like that—like he couldn’t help himself. Haru truly had him wrapped around his finger, and he knew it.

As quickly as the look came, it was gone. Haru stretched his arms over his head and yawned.

“I’m going in the water,” he said.

“Aren’t you tired from swimming earlier?” Makoto said.

He shrugged.

“I’m just gonna float,” he said, getting up and brushing the sand off his jammers.

“Okay, but don’t go out too far,” Makoto said worryingly.

“I won’t,” he said.

Then he surprised him by leaning down and giving him a light peck on his forehead. If he wasn’t blushing before, he was definitely red-faced now. He never knew Haru would actually be into PDA…in front of meddling Nagisa no less.

He couldn’t help but admire the graceful sway of Haru’s hips as he walked away, his slender but muscular legs, that pert ass that his hands only just recently became acquainted with. He watched Haru dive into the waves and resurface like a peaceful dolphin. Nagisa whistled.

“Damn, Makoto. You did good!” he said slapping a greasy hand on his shoulder.

“Nagisa! Don’t be rude,” Rei scolded half-heartedly.

Nagisa was busy applying sunscreen to Rei’s back, but it looked more like a massage than anything.

He didn’t know how to respond, so he just laughed. 

“Okay! Swim time!” Nagisa said, hopping up and declaring his uneven sunscreen work on Rei’s back finished.

“Nope. You can’t swim after just eating all that Iwatobi bread. Thirty minutes,” Rei said, snapping his goggles on.

“Wah! You’re no fun,” Nagisa cried, plopping back down on his towel.

“I’ll stay here with you if you would like,” Makoto said with a kind smile.

That seemed to brighten Nagisa up.

As soon as his boyfriend was out of earshot, Nagisa continued his conversation from before. Rei was already in the water, which meant Nagisa’s filter was gone.

“I’m serious, Mako-chan! I thought you and Haru-chan would never do it,” he said.

“Yeah, well, it just sort of…happened?” he said, rubbing the back of his head nervously.

Nagisa lounged on his towel, put his cat-eye sunglasses on, and smiled wickedly at him.

_Uh oh._

“So…what’s it like getting pegged by an Olympian?”

“Wha—Nagisa!” Makoto cried.

“Oh, my bad. Didn’t mean to assume,” he said.

Makoto sighed in relief.

“…What’s it like pegging an Olympian?” Nagisa asked, leaning uncomfortably close to him.

“NAGISA!” He whined.

Makoto turned lobster red all over as if he had just hopped into a vat of boiling water…at least that’s what it felt like. Still, his friend was leaning into him, waiting for an answer.

“I—We—um…” Makoto stuttered.

“I bet Haru has the best ass…I’m so jealous,” he said leaning back. “If I had an ass like that…man…Rei would never leave for work again.”

Nagisa rambled on about Haru’s attractiveness as if Makoto wasn’t spontaneously combusting beside him.

The truth was, his imagination had been running away with him lately. Ever since he and Haru had gotten together, he had near constant daydreams about going all the way with him. But he had no experience whatsoever, and he was scared that he wouldn’t be good enough at it to please his lover.

He knew Haru wanted it, but he never pressured him to go farther than he was comfortable. When they were in bed together, nothing was rushed, and whenever Haru tried something or touched him somewhere new, he always asked him if he was okay. Sometimes he got overwhelmed with the stimulation of it. Haru, he learned, was very good with his hands. That made him wonder how it would feel to be inside of him, to be one with him.

He snapped out of his reverie when he realized Nagisa was looking at him expectantly again.

_Oh crap! What happened? What was he talking about?_

“I’m sorry. What?” He asked.

“You guys haven’t done it yet, have you,” Nagisa observed.

_Oh no._

“Well…no. We’ve done…other things, though,” Makoto said, finally caving into Nagisa’s nosiness.

Nagisa rolled onto his stomach and perched his chin on his forearms, his legs kicking in the air. He looked like a little schoolgirl thinking about her crush.

“But you want to do it…and soon, judging by how much you’ve been blushing in the last five minutes,” he said.

Makoto sighed.

“Yes,” he admitted. “I just don’t know what to do.”

Nagisa smiled, out of pity or amusement. He didn’t know.

“Aw, Mako-chan trust me, you’ll know what to do. Don’t overthink it,” he said.

Don’t overthink it? Makoto’s whole existence was overthinking everything. Haru said he was wishy-washy, but maybe that’s why he and Haru were so good together. Haru was confident in himself enough to know what he wanted all the time—well maybe not all the time, but most of the time. They always balanced each other out.

Makoto looked out to sea, watching Haru float on the waves with his eyes closed. He was such a free spirit, which made him feel guilty. Makoto was keeping him from being free—from his career he worked so hard to build. They only had a few days left together, but he selfishly didn’t want to let him go.

“I’m going in the water,” he said to Nagisa, who was now sunbathing.

“Don’t get too freaky in there, Mako,” he smirked, lowering his sunglasses on the bridge of his nose to wink.

Makoto rolled his eyes and jogged toward the surf. Maybe a swim would calm his head.

***

Soon the sun began to set on the horizon and the four boys gathered back in the cottage for dinner. Haru made fresh grilled tuna from the market, and they all teased him for now eating more than just mackerel.

When their plates emptied, Makoto gathered them up for their guests and went to the kitchen to do the washing. Even with the water running, he could hear Nagisa and Rei’s playful banter.

“Nagisa don’t slap my back! It burns,” Rei scolded.

“Aww poor baby!” Nagisa cooed.

“No thanks to you. You were the one who didn’t apply the sunscreen properly,” Rei huffed.

Makoto couldn’t help but giggle. Even though the fought constantly, Nagisa and Rei’s relationship was always entertaining to watch. Somehow, they worked together.

“Those idiots need to get a room.”

Makoto jumped to attention. Haru had snuck up on him again. He had his arms crossed against his chest casually and leaned his hip against the doorframe. The sight was so domestic that Makoto couldn’t think of a response. Haru raised a pretty eyebrow.

“They’ve always been like that,” Makoto muttered blushing and going back to scrubbing the plates.

Haru glided over and hooked his arms around his waist. He hooked his fingers through the waistband of this pants and brought their bodies closer. He felt sunburnt all over his body as the air between them got hot. Haru leaned up and captured his lips, scraping his teeth lightly on his bottom lip. It made him shiver and step back slightly.

“Haruuu! They’re in the other room,” he whispered.

The last thing he needed was Nagisa barging in with them like this.

“I don’t care,” Haru said with a smirk, kissing him passionately again.

_Ugh!_ Why did Haru always know how to break him?

Haru pushed him against the kitchen counter, hands sliding up his body to run his fingers through his sun-bleached hair. Makoto held on, clenching his fingers hard against Haru’s strong hips. He dove down and deepened the kiss, letting his tongue slide against Haru’s. He moaned softly into his mouth.

When they parted to breathe, Haru’s eyes were dark and fiery like they had been on the beach.

“I wanted to do to you two years ago,” Haru said.

“It was worth the wait,” he murmured, kissing his lover’s neck and playfully nipping him there.

That must have set Haru off because the next thing he knew he was being manhandled into the storage cupboard.

“What the fuck?! Haruka!” He cried.

Haru covered his mouth with a kiss.

“Shhh! They’ll find us,” Haru pulled apart and whispered.

Then he yanked his shirt collar down so his face met his for a searing kiss. Haru’s kisses sucked him in like a magnetic field but his anxious brain had to get one last word in.

“Seriously, can we do this later? It’s rude to our friends…” Makoto said against his warm lips.

Haru was now exploring his chest under his shirt, fingering his left nipple. The sensation made him jump.

“Do you want me to stop?” Haru asked, still circling his nipple with his thumb.

_Don’t overthink it_ , he remembered Nagisa saying that afternoon. After all, it was getting really hard to concentrate with Haru’s thigh between his legs.

He responded by pinning his lover against a shelf of bagged rice and kissing him hard on the lips. They were going to have to make this quick.

Haru stripped in three seconds flat until he was standing before him completely naked. Makoto barely had time to pick his jaw off the floor when Haru started pulling his shorts down until his dick sprung free from his boxers. Haru wrapped his arms around his waist and brought him impossibly closer.

“Put it here,” he whispered hotly against his lips. “Like this.”

He squeezed those strong thighs together on the tip of his dick, making him automatically jerk forward. Makoto held onto the shelf above Haru’s head and cupped his ass and rocked forward into his thighs.

The cupboard filled with the sounds of skin sliding on skin and breathy moans. The thought of potentially getting caught only made what they were doing hotter. Haru tilted his head back, mouth open in a silent cry and exposing the pearly column of his neck. Makoto locked onto it, lightly grazing it with his teeth before sinking down into his skin and sucking hard.

“ _Oh_!” Haru moaned.

“Shhh, baby, shhh,” he murmured.

He laved the skin there, soothing the pain of the red mark on his neck. Makoto had never left a hickey on anyone before, but he already knew that this was going to be an addition that would be hard to beat.

Haru squeezed tighter against him, and Makoto couldn’t help but think if Haru’s thighs were this good to fuck, then he could only imagine what his ass would be like. He clawed tighter on said ass, and Haru gasped. That was definitely going to leave finger marks later. Meanwhile, Haru was leaving nail marks of his own on Makoto’s broad, muscular back.

He picked up the pace, slamming his lover over and over into the pantry shelves with abandon. They were making pounding noises now, but Makoto was too close to the edge to care. With a final three thrusts, he trembled and came in between his lover’s legs, burying a moan into his glistening neck.

As he caught his breath, he looked down at the mess he had made and Haru’s still painfully hard cock. By the looks of his wobbly knees, he was close. Then he got an idea. He wrapped his hands around Haru’s slim waist and hoisted him up onto the shelf like he weighed nothing. Haru raised an eyebrow.

“So you don’t have to use your legs,” he said.

“How considerate,” Haru quipped.

He knelt down and licked a stripe of his own cum from Haru’s inner thigh, making his back arch back into the bags of rice. That was one way to shut Haru’s smart mouth.

There were many things he loved about Haru, but he especially loved the noises he made when he sucked him off. Haru was trying so hard not to let it slip now that Rei and Nagisa were just on the other side of the wall, but Haru’s attempt to stifle his moans was somehow even cuter. He covered his mouth with his hand and bit his fingers when his dick hit the back of Makoto’s throat. No gag reflex—that was one talent he hadn’t known he had. He let Haru grab his hair and set the rhythm as he bobbed his head up and down.

“Mako—” he gasped against his fist.

He pulled his mouth off and ran his tongue from his balls, against the pulsing vein to the tip.

“Mmph!” Haru moaned too loud.

“Shhh, Haruka,” he smirked with his cheek against his thigh.

Who had the smart mouth now?

Haru looked totally wrecked at him, so Makoto figured it was now time to finish the job. He sucked his dick hard into his mouth, swallowing him down before coming all the way off again to tease the tip over and over. Haru’s face was bright crimson. He was now trying to keep quiet by holding his breath, but even a professional swimmer couldn’t hold it for that long. Makoto felt Haru’s dick pulse in his mouth and soon he arched into his mouth and spilled his seed into the back of his throat. Haru nearly sobbed out a breath while Makoto worked him through his orgasm and sucked him dry.

If someone had told him a year ago that he would be giving Haruka Nanase earth-shattering head on the regular, he would have laughed and said they were crazy. Well, it’s funny how things go.

***

“Oh shit! I think I hear them coming,” Rei whispered frantically.

The two boyfriends scrambled to put their clothes back into place and sat up on the couch like they hadn’t just had an explicit makeout session while their friends were cleaning up after their dinner.

Nagisa got one more kiss in while his boyfriend zipped his fly.

“You’re a freak, you know that?” Nagisa said. He fixed his wild blond hair.

Rei straightened his glasses and scoffed.

“ _You_ were the one who jumped _me_ ,” he protested.

“Love you, babe!” Nagisa winked.

Makoto came into the room, his shirt wrinkled, followed by Haru who looked like he was totally spacing out.

“Sorry for the wait, you guys,” Makoto said rubbing the back of his head of tousled hair. “We had a bit of trouble in the kitchen.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nagisa always up to something...  
> Thanks for reading!


	10. Departure

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Haru and Makoto's time together is up, but Haru thinks of one last way to stay with Makoto for good.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is a short one. This plot is turning angsty real fast lol

Makoto and Haru lay in their bed facing each other, struggling to stay awake. It was 2:00 in the morning on the day they had to leave Iwatobi, and neither of them wanted to fall asleep.

The last days of their vacation went by in a blur. They spent a lot of time visiting with the Tachibana family and trying to entertain the twins. Haru enjoyed the family meals and the stolen kisses he and Makoto shared in the back garden when no one was looking, but he always felt like time was slipping away from them.

Now they were here, spending their last hours talking about everything and nothing, trying to make the most being together. Makoto got comfortable under the duvet and yawned, eyes drooping sleepily. Haru shifted closer to him and buried his nose in his neck. He gave him gentile kisses there, making Makoto relax sleepily into the pillows.

“Haruka,” he murmured. “Are you alright?”

How was he so good at reading him even when half asleep? It took several minutes for Haru to respond, but Makoto waited, drawing random patterns on his arm.

“I don’t want to go,” he whispered.

He inwardly cringed at the tremble behind his voice, but he was more vulnerable when he was tired. Makoto held him closer, feeling his heartbeat on his.

“We still have some time,” he consoled, but it wasn’t very convincing.

Haru knew he didn’t want him to leave either.

Haru tilted his head up and kissed him deep and slow, clinging to his lips as tight as he was his arms.

“You can come visit me whenever you want,” Makoto whispered in between kisses.

“I can take time off to see you,” he said, kissing him again.

“I’ll call you every day…so you have to actually use your phone.”

Haru breathed a laugh and kissed him again.

“We’ll figure it out,” Makoto said

“Okay,” Haru murmured before finally falling asleep.

***

They spent the short flight back to Tokyo with their fingers entwined, leaning on each other’s shoulders. That’s when Haru got an idea. What if Makoto came with him? It was the perfect plan. Makoto could work as an assistant coach and help him at meets like he had in Australia. He needed a spotter anyway. Haru’s mind was racing with plans for their life together. It would be so nice to have Makoto there to pull him out of the pool after practice. They could spend their free time exploring the cities around the world.

He would take Makoto to his favorite seafood market in Seoul, show him the wide foggy expanse of Niagara Falls, ride the gondolas in Venice, sip tiny cups of coffee in Istanbul and go surfing on the deep blue waves in California. They would have so much fun on their adventures, Haru imagined. It would be perfect for them. And no more lonely hotels. 

Their plane hit the tarmac, jostling Makoto from his nap on Haru’s shoulder. Haru smiled down at him. Every plane ride could feel like this.

They unloaded their suitcases from the overhead bin, and Makoto stopped to help an elderly lady with her bags. Haru fished his favorite blue ballcap from his backpack. It was the best way not to get recognized by random people in the airport.

They exited the plane into the crowded gate. Makoto held onto the hem of his bomber jacket as Haru led them through the confusing but familiar maze of gates. They approached the exit, but Makoto insisted on seeing him off on his next flight.

Haru was off to Paris next for an exhibition meet with Swim Europe. It had been the last thing on his mind as he thought of Makoto being there at all his meets to cheer him on. As they approached the gate, the two boys stopped at a little alcove near some windows overlooking the tarmac. They watched the planes land every five minutes, pulled to this place from every direction.

Haru looked up at Makoto who stared out a bit sadly. He must have been imagining watching his plane leaving from here. Haru looked around, and after he determined no one was paying any attention to them, he wrapped his arm around his lover’s waist and went on his tiptoes to kiss his cheek.

“You don’t need to miss me,” He said.

Makoto smiled down at him with the smile just for him.

“It’s kind of hard not to,” he said dropping the handle of his suitcase to wrap Haru in a warm hug.

They stayed like that for a while, but the clock was ticking. Haru’s plane had arrived at the gate and was preparing to let the passengers board. Reluctantly, they pulled away.

“After France, where to next?” Makoto asked.

“Well, I got an offer to travel with Team Japan’s open water team. I met with coach back in Australia,” Haru said.

“Wow! Congratulations, Haru! You’ll be perfect for them,” he said, green eyes sparkling like the way Haru’s do when he sees water.

Haru took his hands in his, his heart swelling. Makoto’s hands were always warm compared to Haru’s cold, slender fingers.

“Makoto, come with me,” Haru said softly.

Makoto looked at him curiously as if he hadn’t heard him.

“What?” he said.

“We could travel together. You can be on the coaching staff—Azuma needs the help, anyway. You’d be great, and we wouldn’t have to be apart anymore,” Haru rambled excitedly.

“Haru…I don’t know…” Makoto hesitated nervously.

“We could have an apartment in Tokyo as a home base for the off season, so we can still see our friends. We can go wherever you want…wherever in the world,” he continued.

“But Haru, my job…my students,” he said.

Haru squeezed his hands tighter, his voice shaking with excited energy.

“You said your dream was to help professional athletes. This is it, Makoto! You don’t need to teach rowdy high schoolers and toddlers anymore. You’d be with all the elites. They’d love you…”

Makoto looked at him in shock. Haru could see the gears turning in his head, but for once he couldn’t guess what was going through Makoto’s mind. He was quiet for a bit, and then he sighed.

“Haru…I can’t,” Makoto said.

Haru was taken aback. He felt Makoto’s hands slipping away, but he held on.

“What do you mean you can’t?” Haru asked.

“I mean you already have a top-notch staff. What makes you think I’m even qualified to do this?” he said.

Makoto took a step back and released his hands.

“Because I know you…I know you can do it,” he said earnestly.

Haru’s mind was racing. He was losing him, but he didn’t want to believe it. He didn’t know why Makoto wouldn’t just believe in himself already. He was more than qualified to do the job. Didn’t he want to stay with him?

“Haru…” Makoto started, looking him in the eye seriously. “Do you want me to come with you as your coach or as your lover?”

“What—? Why does it matter?” he asked, incredulous.

“It’s a conflict of interest, Haru,” he replied.

Haru scoffed.

“Oh, like no other pro swimmer has a conflict of interest with their staff…” he muttered sarcastically.

Makoto huffed and raked a hand through his hair. Haru knew him long enough to know that was Makoto’s unconscious way of showing frustration.

“I’m just saying…if we fall out, what happens then? You lose me and a coach too. The last thing I want to do is jeopardize your career,” he rebutted.

Haru blinked and shook his head as if Makoto had just slapped him across the face.

“If we fall out…what makes you think we’ll fall out? We’ve practically known each other since birth,” he protested.

He felt the anger and frustration rise in him. He was trying to bring Makoto closer to him, but he always managed to push him away in the end.

“I’m not saying we _will_ fall out, but what if…” Makoto started.

 _Damn him_ , Haru thought to himself. _Always worrying about “what if.” Would it kill him to live a little?!_

“You know what? Forget it. Forget I ever said anything,” Haru interrupted, picking his backpack up from the floor. 

“Haru…” he sighed.

Haru wouldn’t look at him. He couldn’t. He thought that he and Makoto were going to have a perfect life together, but it never crossed his mind that Makoto wouldn’t want that life. He felt so betrayed.

A garbled voice on the intercom announced the plane to Paris was ready for departure.

“My flight is boarding,” Haru muttered, focusing all his attention on his bags.

He threw his duffel over his shoulder and started a brisk walk to the check-in counter.

“Haru, wait!” Makoto shouted, hurrying after him.

Haru turned to face him one last time with sad eyes. Makoto stood there helplessly on the verge of tears.

“I’ll see you around, Makoto,” he said quietly.

He turned toward the gate, yanking his boarding pass and passport from him pocket. He didn’t dare look back at the mess he had made.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More coming soon I promise!


	11. Painful Remembering

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With Haru gone, possibly for good, Makoto wonders how he had messed things up this bad. Luckily his friends are there to support him during his Haru-induced mental crisis.

When Haru left two years ago—after he had run away from kissing him— Makoto didn’t think he would ever feel that devastated ever again.

He was wrong.

He had finally gotten Haru back and came to terms with his feelings for him, and because of this, he had the best two weeks of his life. But now all of that was gone—possibly forever.

How had he messed this up so bad?! He found himself replaying their fight in the airport over and over.

_“If we fall out…”_

_Why did I even say that? I’m such an idiot_ , Makoto thought to himself.

It had been a week since then, and Makoto had tried to call Haru approximately 300 times with no answer. He had really fucked it up this time. He knew when Haru was ignoring him, but that didn’t stop him from picking up the phone and calling him again.

He needed to apologize, but he also needed answers. What was he to Haru? Did he want a serious relationship, or did he just want a friend with benefits like he had with Albert? Could they still be friends? Was Makoto even worth the trouble?

He dialed the number he knew by heart and listened to it ring, and ring… and ring. He knew the chances were slim, but a part of him believed that Haru would pick up this time. After every ring, he became more and more desperate. Did Haru even care about him anymore?

The ringing gave way to an automated voice message that informed him, once again, that the number he was trying to reach was not available. He sighed and hung up without leaving a message. What was the point if Haru wasn’t even going to listen?

He tried not to let that get him down when he clocked into work at the aquatics center. Hayato was waiting for him in the lobby, excited to see his coach back in business after his vacation. He had to pretend everything was great.

“Hey, Coach! I think I finally got my flip turn down!” Hayato said excitedly.

“That’s great! Let’s see,” Makoto said with a fake (but convincing) smile.

He tried to be there for Hayato, but it was hard enough motivating himself, let alone a teenager. As he watched his student do laps in the pool, he couldn’t help but think about Haru. What was he doing now? He thought of him roaming the narrow streets of Paris alone. Was he thinking of him? Would he ever turn his damn phone on?

His student must have noticed that his mind was somewhere else, but he didn’t say anything, and Makoto was grateful for that. Soon practice was over, and he felt guilty for not bringing his best efforts to Hayato, but he had no idea how to get back to his normal self. Haru had turned his entire life upside down, and with him gone it was like he was trying to walk on the ceiling.

Hayato left, and Makoto started folding the discarded towels outside the locker rooms when he caught a glimpse of the TV in the break room. Some of his co-workers, who were former college swimmers, watched the swim channel on the small TV.

“Yo, I heard Haruka Nanase is racing in this one,” one said.

Without thinking, he gravitated toward the TV at the mention of Haru’s name.

“Oh, hey Makoto! Didn’t you grow up in the same town as Nanase?” his coworker asked.

“Oh…um yeah,” he said.

Makoto’s heart hurt. He watched the camera pan over the practice pool. Haru was at the wall, probably just finishing up his routine. The camera zoomed in on him as the announcers recapped all the tournaments he had won, including his open water performance in Australia, but Makoto wasn’t listening. He noticed Haru was talking to someone in the other lane. The man pulled off his swim cap and goggles and flicked his long blond hair. It was Albert, and he was laughing at something Haru had said.

Makoto couldn’t take it anymore. Haru had said that Albert didn’t care about him, but it was clear that something was still going on between them. He felt stupid for thinking Haru could be his—that he meant anything to him.

He turned abruptly and started speed walking down the hall.

“Hey Mako, where are you going? The race is gonna start soon!” his coworker called after him, but he didn’t answer.

He made it to the employees’ toilet just in time to start sobbing into his hands.

***

Makoto didn’t want to go back to his apartment. All he could remember was Haru there using his rice cooker, Haru lounging on the couch watching the National Geographic channel, Haru getting a glass of water before bed wearing one of his old t-shirts, Haru laying next to him in his bed the morning after they both got drunk.

He decided to go to Nagisa and Rei’s apartment instead where he could have a mental breakdown and not be judged for it. He had suffered alone for long enough.

Rei answered the door dressed in his work clothes. He had obviously just gotten home from the lab.

“Makoto? Are you alright?” he asked, concerned.

Makoto sniffed as a new round of tears welled up in his eyes.

“I don’t think so,” he whimpered.

“Please come in!” he said, stepping aside and letting his friend by. “I’m brewing some tea if you would like some.”

“That would be nice. Thank you,” Makoto said, voice still wobbly. 

As Rei scurried to the kitchen for the tea, he heard fast approaching footsteps coming from the living room. Nagisa appeared from behind the wall in a Chiitan tank top and a pair of hot pink Juicy sweatpants. On any other day, Makoto would have laughed at Nagisa’s ever-growing strange wardrobe, but he just didn’t have the energy.

“Noooo! Makoto! What happened?” Nagisa asked, giving Makoto a bear hug.

“I think—I think Haru doesn’t like me anymore,” Makoto sobbed.

“Ehh?! What gave you that idea?!” Nagisa asked.

“Yes, the likelihood of Haru suddenly cutting you out of his life is very slim,” Rei said with two cups of tea in his hands.

Makoto wiped his eyes with his sleeve.

“He got mad at me at the airport, and I called him a dozen times, and he won’t pick up, and I saw him on TV, and he’s in love with at Albert guy,” He stammered.

“Woah, woah! Slow down,” Nagisa said, guiding him to the couch. “Breathe. I’m going to get you some snacks, okay?”

“I don’t want any…” Makoto sulked.

“I have chocolate strawberries,” Nagisa tempted in a sing song-y voice.

“…Okay I’ll have a little,” Makoto caved, blowing his nose on a tissue Rei handed him.

In the kitchen, Nagisa whipped out his phone and started typing rapidly on the group chat.

Nagisa: RED ALERT Mako-chan is having a sad attack

Kisumi: Oh no! Is it like the time he watched Toy Story 3?

Nagisa: Worse. The boy is crying a sea of tears in my apartment right now.

Asahi: Damn.

Rei: Nagisa where are the backup tissues?!

Nagisa: What? Why?

Rei: He’s already cried through two packs!

Kisumi: Oh shit. We’ll be right over.

Meanwhile in the living room, Makoto was having a full-blown mental crisis. Tears and snot ran down his face and he didn’t even care.

“H-he hates me now, doesn’t he!” Makoto warbled.

“Of course not! Who could hate you?” Rei said.

“I DO!” Makoto sobbed.

“Oh no…Nagisa! I am in need of some assistance, here!” he shouted.

Nagisa closed out the chat, swiped some strawberries and candy from the fridge before scurrying back to the living room where Makoto was red-faced mess crying all over his velvet pillows.

“Poor baby, come to mama Nagisa,” he said, cuddling next to his friend.

When he finally calmed down enough to get off the couch, Nagisa, Rei, Asahi, and Kisumi carted a soggy Makoto to his favorite comfort food restaurant in their neighborhood. Makoto wanted to put on a happy face for his friends, but he no longer had the energy to smile. He found out long ago that whenever he was sad, eating was a good substitute for crying.

He was on his third order of loaded nacho cheese fries and his fifth chocolate milkshake when he got the emotional strength to tell his friends what had happened with he and Haru at the airport.

“So he just left? Just like that?” Asahi said.

Makoto nodded.

“Rude,” Kisumi said, stealing one of Makoto’s fries.

“It was like everything was fine, and then all of a sudden, nothing was fine. What do I do?” Makoto cried.

“And he won’t answer his phone?” Nagisa asked.

Makoto shook his head.

“Classic Haru,” Asahi mumbled.

“Dump his ass!” Kisumi shouted, pounding his fist on the table.

“Okay, hold on,” Rei interjected. “What is it you want to accomplish Makoto?”

“I don’t know…I just want Haru to be happy,” He said quietly.

“But Mako-chan! That’s no good. You gotta be happy too,” Nagisa said.

“You and Haru were happy together right?” Asahi asked.

He remembered Haru’s special small smile when they woke up snuggled together at the cottage. He shook the image away painfully.

“Yeah…at least I thought so,” Makoto said, eyes welling up.

“Then why did you say no to going with Haru-chan?” he asked.

“I—I don’t know…it’s complicated,” Makoto stuttered. “Going pro is such a different world. There are so many other coaches who would be better than me. I don’t want to hold Haru back…”

“Sounds like a lousy excuse to me…” Asahi mumbled, but his boyfriend slapped his shoulder.

“Ow! Hey!” he exclaimed.

“Don’t listen to him,” Kisumi said. “You just need to be honest with yourself here. I know change is scary, but you’re not holding Haru back. Maybe you’re holding yourself back.”

“Wow. Deep,” Nagisa commented.

“You know I’m right,” Kisumi said smugly, stealing another nacho fry from Makoto’s plate. “So, figure yourself out, and then tell Haru how you really feel.”

“But how will I do that if he’s not listening to me?” Makoto asked.

“He’ll come around, I’m sure of it,” Nagisa said, throwing his arm around the gentile giant.

That made Makoto feel a little bit more at ease, but the thought of possibly losing Haru forever still lingered in his mind like a virus. He had to do this. Otherwise, he’ll never know what he meant to Haru. He had spent his entire life guessing, but now it was time for answers. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sad Makoto is probably the most relatable Makoto for me. Haru has some explaining to do.


	12. Haru's Realization

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Haru is at a crossroads with a choice between Makoto and the swimming career he worked so hard to create. Haru wonders if Makoto would even take him back if he tried.

The practice pool at the Paris aquatics center was bustling with swimmers getting ready for the upcoming meet. Normally this was the time Haru started to get pumped up to swim competitively, but today he was zoned out on the pool deck.

He felt awful about how he left things with Makoto, but he couldn’t bear to dwell on it for too long. The thought of losing Makoto for good was too much. So Haru was back to his regularly scheduled bullshit—ignoring his feelings at all costs.

After their fight at the airport, he threw himself back into the pool, swimming endless laps at all hours of the day and night. His coach was happy to see him preparing for his upcoming meet, but he constantly complained that his stroke was off. The water was nothing like it was when he swam in Australia with Makoto. This time it was cold and choppy and seemed to fight him. He fought back, cutting through the pool like a hacksaw, leaving jagged waves in his wake.

“Whatever is going on with you, you need to cut it out,” Azuma had told him after one particularly brutal practice session.

He hated disappointing him, but he hated thinking about how he hurt Makoto more. So for the next two weeks, he kept hacking at the water until the swim meet was upon them. By then, there wasn’t much he could do.

He continued his rough slog through the water in the practice pool, annoyed at how crowded it was in the pool. He had always imagined the water as an open space where he could be free to expand in all directions, but now he just felt claustrophobic.

He swam a few laps, but he didn’t feel like he was improving at all. _Better to quit now rather than get too tired for the qualifiers_ , he thought.

He stopped at the wall, panting. That’s when he heard a familiar voice beside him that made him freeze in place.

“Hi, Haru,” he said.

_Fucking shit._

Of course he would be in the lane next to his ex.

Albert took his swim cap and goggles off and laughed at his expression.

“Aw you don’t need to be like that,” he said.

_Why?! Why now?_

Haru pushed himself out of the pool and made a beeline for the locker rooms. He couldn’t deal with this shit right now.

He quickly weaved through the confusing hallways to his locker and sighed.

_I think I lost him_ he thought in relief.

“What? You’re not even going to say hello?”

_Fuck._

Albert was standing there behind him, having followed him through the back entrance. He looked the same as he remembered him from a couple months ago. His messy blond hair covered his face, and his smile was playful and a bit suggestive. Haru was certainly not in the mood.

“No,” He deadpanned, ignoring him to rummage through his locker.

Albert leaned in closer.

“Something is different about you,” he said.

“Like you would know…” Haru mumbled.

Albert looked over his shoulder to try to get a glimpse of his face. Haru has been always hard to read, but being this flustered made it hard to keep up his usual poker face.

“Come on! Are you still mad at me?! Why don’t you come to my place and we can talk it over?” He said with a wink.

_The audacity of this guy…_

Haru slammed his locker shut.

“No.”

Albert laughed, and Haru turned away and walked toward the exit. He had a race to get to.

“Why not? You have a new beau or something?” he shouted after him.

Haru flinched despite himself, stopping in his tracks.

“Ahh! You do!” Albert exclaimed. “What is he like? Is he hot? Is he okay with you being away all the time?”

Haru felt a nerve pop out of his forehead.

_Annoying._

“None of your business,” he snapped.

Albert got uncomfortably close again, making Haru’s skin crawl, but he was frozen. He had let Albert into his life and that gave him the ability to read him, but he didn’t want to be read. He didn’t want anyone to see how desperate he was right now. But Albert saw right through him, but unlike Makoto who always wanted the best for him, he used that power against him.

“Well then, let me give you a bit of advice,” Albert said, slinking an arm around his shoulders. “Haru, people like us, we’re drifters. We don’t need a home. We don’t need to commit to anything. That’s the beauty of it. Why tie yourself down when you could do anything—and anyone—you want?”

Haru huffed and pulled himself away.

“I don’t need your advice. And I certainly don’t need your judgment,” he said while walking away. Albert followed. 

“After a while, your beau is going to get tired of waiting on you and find someone else they can tie down,” he continued. “You’ll be crawling back to me soon enough. You might as well rip it off like a band-aid.”

Haru didn’t say anything—he couldn’t. He didn’t ever want to crawl back to Albert again, but he had left Makoto all alone with no reason to stay with him.

“See you at tomorrow’s race. We can celebrate after I’ve won,” Albert said with a wicked grin.

Haru wanted to puke. And he wanted to beat the shit out of him, but that would have been a violation of the championship rules and land him an automatic disqualification.

After Albert left the locker room, he shook himself out of it. He had a race soon, and he needed to focus.

He made his way back to the pool deck where all of his competitors were lined up stretching their arms. Azuma nodded at him from the coaches’ box, but his eyes said, “don’t fuck it up.”

Haru gulped. He was still shaken by his encounter with Albert, but he needed to get his head back into the pool.

The loudspeaker announced for the racers to take their marks. Haru stepped onto the platform, trying to get his body to run on autopilot, but the thought of Albert watching him in the crowd sent a chill up his spine.

The loudspeaker called “Set,” and Haru’s body coiled, ready to pounce on the water. Then the gun went off and he launched forward. He clawed himself to the front of the pack, but he was racing against some of the most talented swimmers in Europe. By the time he reached the first turn, he was farther behind than he would have liked, in the middle of the pack.

He huffed and pushed harder, expelling everything from his mind. He was on pure animalistic instinct now. He chopped the water, speeding toward the front of the pack. He sprinted as fast as he could to the end, and he didn’t even know how he did when he hit the wall. He threw his head out of the water and gasped for air, peering up at the scoreboard. Second. But his time was just fast enough to advance to the next race—the race with Albert.

When he got out of the pool, he didn’t even hear the crowd cheering or his coach yelling at him to stop being an idiot and focus. He went straight for the locker room to get his shit and leave.

***

The walk back to the hotel was excruciating every time. The cobblestone streets were bustling with people and food stalls that made his mouth water. He kept thinking of how Makoto would love it here with the heavenly food and the cute historic charm.

Haru had never really hung out in Paris before, usually only stopping through on a layover at the airport. He knew he probably should have been enjoying his stay, but he was in too much of a mood to explore beyond a few blocks from the aquatics center and his hotel.

He got back to his lonely room, dropped his swim duffel by the door and fell back on the double bed with a huff. At least this trip would be over soon. After he had his race against Albert, it would be on to the next country, on to the next pool. Normally he would be excited to race someone as talented as him—like he felt when racing Rin back in high school—but now he just wanted to get it over with.

As he stared blankly at the ceiling, he heard his phone beep. He had left it on the charger on the bedside table again, not even bothering to unplug it since he got here. The thought of calling Makoto crossed his mind a few times, but he was too afraid. What if he said the wrong thing and made everything worse?

He reached over and unplugged the cord. He had a few texts from Azuma reminding him to eat something other than mackerel for the race tomorrow, a text from his parents wishing him luck and a few emoji-filled messages from Nagisa he couldn’t even understand.

Then his heart sank. He had 20 missed calls—and all of them were from Makoto.

He could only imagine what the voicemails would say. Was he angry? Was he cutting him out of his life for good?

He threw the phone away and it bounced and landed at the foot of the bed, but in the process, he must have accidentally hit the speaker button because the phone’s automated voice droned, “You have ten new messages,” and began playing Makoto’s voicemails.

_“Hey, Haru. It’s me…”_

“Shit,” Haru mumbled, scrambling to turn the phone off. He couldn’t deal with the rejection right now. But the tone of Makoto’s voice stopped him.

_“I’m sorry for the way we left things. You just caught me off guard is all. Can we talk?”_

Why was he sorry? He was the one who ruined everything. The next message was dated three days after Haru left.

_“Haru, it’s me again. It’s okay if you need some space. I get that. Just give me a call when you’re ready. I hope you’re doing okay...”_

Then Makoto’s tone shifted, sounding more desperate and anxious.

_“Haru, I know I said I was okay with you needing space, but I’m getting kind of worried. It’s just… you haven’t called or texted me back at all in a week and a half to say you are okay. We don’t have to go into anything. Just let me know if you’re doing alright. Okay? Stay safe…”_

Haru felt a block of guilt in his stomach. He curled up on the bed next to the phone and listened to several more worrying messages. Even when they were arguing, Makoto was still a mother hen.

_“Haru, I know you’re ignoring me, but can you please just call me back? I’m not mad. I just want to fix things. It’s not the same here without you.”_

Then a new voicemail popped up from just half an hour before. What time was it in Japan? It must have been 2 am there. Haru’s brow furrowed in worry at the thought of Makoto not getting proper sleep because of him.

_“Um…Hi, Haru. It’s me…Makoto,”_ his voice said hesitantly.

_Idiot. I know it’s you,_ Haru thought fondly.

_“I just wanted to call to apologize…again. I never wanted to make you mad. I just…I just don’t know what to do, you know? I mean, you’re so amazing and talented and funny and kind and a damn good swimmer…sorry I’m getting off-topic, but it’s true. I’m just afraid I’m going to ruin it for you or distract you or something. The truth is…”_ Makoto took a breath. Haru held his.

_“I would love nothing more than to spend my days with you…for as long as you’ll have me. I’m just scared of things going wrong, or that you’ll get sick of me or something. Classic Makoto, I know. Maybe I’m a little too self-conscious, but Haru…I don’t feel so afraid when I’m with you. When we were together those two weeks…well… it was the first time in a while I felt totally happy. You make me so, so happy.”_

Haru picked the phone up and cradled it closer to him as if he were holding a part of Makoto in his hand. He was never an emotional man, but he felt tears pricking at the edges of his eyes. 

_“I know you’re probably not going to check these messages, but if you just listen to one thing coming from my mouth, this would be it: It’s meaningless without you…That’s it.”_

Makoto took a shaky breath on the other end of the phone, and for a moment he closed his eyes and imagined him lying next to him. Haru wanted to comfort him so bad, tell him that he made him happy too.

_“Hopefully we can talk sometime later. Just know I’m here for you when you’re ready. I miss you. Goodbye, Haru-chan.”_

“There are no new messages,” the phone said automatically.

Haru was stunned. Did Makoto just confess to him?

Haru bolted up, holding the phone in his shaking hand. That “Goodbye, Haru-chan” felt so final, it scared the shit out of him.

No…he could not let this be the end. He couldn’t put Makoto through this again. He couldn’t put himself through this again.

He didn’t think, he just ran, throwing everything he owned into his travel bag and backpack. He picked up the hotel phone on the bedside table and dialed the front desk.

“Allô?” A woman answered.

“Yes, this is Haruka Nanase,” he said in his best English he could muster in his frenzied state. “There has been a change of plans. I am checking out tonight.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Go Haru! Go! Next chapter coming soon. It's a fun one!  
> Thanks so much to everyone for the wonderful kudos!


	13. Stockholm Syndrome

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Makoto wonders if it's over between him and Haru, but soon he learns the truth about Haru's relationship with Albert.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Me: Writes chapter while drunk on a Tuesday  
> Totally forgets about it  
> Rediscovers it in drafts at 5am on a Saturday
> 
> So how is everyone else doing during this hot mess in a dumpster fire inside a train wreck? 
> 
> Anyway, sorry for the wait! 
> 
> **TW: some light mentions of an abusive relationship and borderline non-con in this chapter**

After another long day of pretending everything was fine, Makoto found himself once again splayed on the couch in his apartment watching _Muma Mia_ for the fifth time in a row.

He had given up on calling Haru, and he got the sinking feeling that it was over between them. He had poured his soul out on his last voicemail, and he didn’t even get a measly text back. He hugged the throw blanket closer to him and sniffed. His eyes were sore from crying and the lack of sleep, but at least watching a movie helped him get Haru off his mind for a bit.

As the movie launched into a musical number, there was a knock at the door. The pizza delivery man was here, at least. He rubbed his eyes, straightened his ratty t-shirt, and crinkled sweatpants to look somewhat presentable before frantically looking for his wallet.

“I’ll be there in a minute!” he called as he retrieved his wallet from the pocket of a discarded pair of jeans on the floor.

He opened the door, carding through the pockets to scrounge a few yen for a tip.

“Sorry about that. How much do I owe you?” He asked, but when he looked up, he nearly dropped everything.

Standing before him wasn’t the pizza delivery man but Haru.

He looked more disheveled than usual, and dark circles had formed under his sad blue eyes. He looked at him with a shy and guilty expression, and Makoto just wanted to pull him into his arms right there in the apartment hallway, but something stopped him. He had no idea why Haru was here or how he felt about him now. Had he listened to his messages? By the looks of him, he probably had.

“May I come in?” Haru asked quietly.

Makoto blinked out of his shock.

“Haru! What—? Yes, come in,” He stammered.

He let Haru pass and closed the door behind him. An awkward silence fell between them as Haru slipped off his shoes. That’s when Makoto realized how much of a mess his apartment was. There were takeout containers everywhere on every surface, random clothes thrown on the floor, the trash and recycling bins were overflowing. He scurried forward to embarrassingly kick some dirty socks under the couch.

“Sorry for the mess! I’ve just—um…” he said, trying to think of a better excuse than “I have been a wreck since you left.”

He started collecting the empty beer cans on the dining table, which has served as his overflow recycling pile. Then he felt a gentle hand on his arm that stopped him in his tracks.

“Please, don’t,” Haru said.

Haru looked to the side and bit his lip.

“Haru…” “Makoto…” They said at the same time.

There was another awkward pause.

“You go first,” Makoto said.

“I’m sorry. For everything,” Haru said with his head down.

Makoto couldn’t help but smile down at him.

“It’s okay…” he started, but Haru cut him off, gripping his sleeve tighter in his fist and looking up at him, almost angry.

“No, it’s not. I fucked everything up…again,” he said.

Makoto took his hand from his arm and took it in his hands.

“Well, clearly not everything. You’re here now,” he said softly.

Makoto felt the familiar butterflies in his stomach when Haru blushed. It was as if his body was coming back alive.

“I listened to your messages,” Haru said.

“Oh?” he said. His heart was now pounding. So, he _had_ listened to his soul-outpouring message.

“And…it’s meaningless without you, too,” Haru said with a small smile.

At that moment, Makoto knew they were going to be alright.

“Haru…” he murmured, but Haru beat him to it.

He grabbed him with both hands, and Makoto never knew Haru to cling so tightly to anyone. His eyes bored into his with such intensity that he felt a blush creep up his face to his ears.

“I love you,” Haru said.

Makoto gasped. His insides were on fire. What was happening? Was this real? Did he fall asleep in a tipsy haze?

He knew he had been in love with Haru for a while, but he never wanted to scare him, so he never confessed so openly. Now here he was, shocked out of his mind that Haru—quiet, stoic Haru—was confessing to _him_.

Haru squeezed his hands, snapping out of his reverie. No, this was definitely real. Haru never said anything he didn’t mean.

“You don’t have to say it back,” Haru said looking down at his feet.

Makoto cupped his jaw and surged forward, kissing him passionately. All the awkwardness melted away, both relaxing into the kiss. 

“I love you, too,” Makoto said when they parted. “God, I love you so much.”

Haru gave him one of his rare smiles just for him and hugged him close, nestling his head in the nook of Makoto’s neck. He wrapped his arms around him, so happy Haru was back with him. That’s when there was a knock on the door. The actual pizza man was here.

He reluctantly released his love to answer the door, coming back into the apartment with a large box.

“Do you want some pizza?” he asked.

Haru chuckled.

“That would be great. Thanks,” he said.

***

The past weeks of worry had left both of them exhausted, so after consuming an entire large pepperoni pizza, Makoto and Haru were ready to go to sleep.

Makoto changed out of his wrinkly, stained sweats into his pajamas but Haru was still lounging on the tatami in his jeans and t-shirt.

“Haru-chan, where are your bags?” he asked.

“I left them at the hotel,” He said, rubbing his eyes drowsily. “I wasn’t sure how this was going to go.”

Makoto shook his head. As if he would ever turn Haru away.

“Well, you can just borrow my things,” he said, going back into his room to grab some sleep clothes that were Haru-sized.

Even after Haru left two years ago, he still hung onto Haru’s favorite orange and white striped shirt and some basketball shorts that no longer fit him, but fit Haru fine.

Come to think of it, Makoto was fully stoked to have Haru over, always stashing an extra toothbrush and the shampoo that he liked. It must have been a habit growing up with Haru staying over at his family’s house so often.

Haru came shuffling out of the bathroom in that shirt, and Makoto suddenly remembered why he never threw it out (and probably never will). The shirt still hung loose on Haru’s slim frame, exposing the soft white skin on his clavicle and a bit of his shoulder. He looked so adorable, Makoto could die. He plopped onto his bed and cuddled next to him under the duvet. Makoto felt Haru relax onto his chest. He never wanted to let go of Haru ever again.

“Whatever happened with your race?” He asked, smoothing a stray hair back from Haru’s forehead.

“I didn’t go,” he replied nonchalantly.

“Haru…” Makoto sighed.

Of course he would leave a race with no notice. That was such a Haru thing to do.

“It’s fine. Azuma was pissed, but he’ll get over it,” he said.

“Okay, but no more backing out of races for me,” Makoto scolded, poking him in the arm.

“No promises,” he said with a sly smile.

“Haru-chan…”

“Drop the -chan.”

Makoto laughed. It was so nice to be back with him now.

Haru reached over and turned off the light, but Makoto lay there for several more minutes unable to fall asleep. Something kept nagging at his mind.

“Haru? Are you awake?” he asked softly.

“Yeah,” Haru said with his eyes closed.

Makoto debated on whether he should even say something now. Haru was obviously tired, but something in his gut told him it was now or never to ask.

“Sorry. I was just thinking…you know I saw you and Albert together on the TV…not that it’s any of my business…” he rambled.

Haru sighed.

“What do you want to know?” he said.

Even his voice sounded tired, but it was more of an emotional exhaustion.

“You don’t have to tell me anything. I don’t want to pry—”

Haru looked up at him with deadpan eyes.

“Makoto—it’s fine,” he said.

 _Well, I guess there’s no getting out of asking it now_ , Makoto thought. He took a breath.

“I want to know what happened in Stockholm…with Albert,” he said.

It had been over a month since Nagisa had first hinted at the café that something had happened to Haru in Stockholm. That first day Haru returned to Japan felt like ages ago—they weren’t even together then—but for some reason, that loose end weighed on Makoto’s mind for all that time, even now when they have confessed their love for one another. Something just didn’t sit right.

Haru was quiet for a while, looking up at the ceiling as if he were thinking of what to say.

“Last summer, I told Nagisa that I was going on a vacation with Albert for two weeks,” he started. Makoto ground himself into the pillows and listened.

“I ended up staying for two months. I was prepared to move in with him.”

“Wow…then what happened?” Makoto asked.

Haru sighed and leaned closer into his chest, playing with the hem of his shirt. Haru rarely showed any nervous ticks, but under the cover of darkness, he let this one slip. Whatever happened must have really bothered him.

“Traveling to the top swim meets in the world, you run into the same people over and over. Albert was always there at my meets, and we became friends. It started out as just eating lunch with him in the canteen. Then he would invite me to watch swim tapes in his hotel room. Then we would get drunk on cheap vodka afterward. Then it just…escalated. I didn’t want to go back to my room and be alone, so I just let it happen. Soon he was coming to me every night for a quick fuck, and I let him. It was nice at first— to feel needed.

This went on for about a year. We’d meet in hotels all around the world and do the same shit. Then after the circuit ended, he asked me to come with him to Stockholm. I thought maybe he wanted to be more than just fuck buddies at this point, so I went…and it was fun. He took me out on the town and introduced me to all his friends. He taught me how to speak Swedish, and we even went on a skiing trip together. But whenever we got back to his apartment, he would just bend me over the kitchen counter or the bed or the couch or the coffee table and fuck me like I wasn’t a real person.

One time I didn’t get enough time to prepare, and he was pounding into me, and it hurt, so I told him to stop, and he did, but he got pissy about it, so I let him fuck my mouth. My jaw was sore for days…”

Makoto protectively hugged Haru closer. He felt a little sick at the thought of Haru being forced to do anything he didn’t want to do. He never wanted to let that happen to him again.

Haru took a breath and continued.

“I tried so hard to be the guy I thought he wanted because I was afraid that if I didn’t please him, he would tell me to leave and I would be alone…

Anyway, it didn’t matter because Albert started going out with his friends without me. He was gone all hours of the night and didn’t come back until morning. Then one morning I was going out for a run when I saw Albert making out with some girl at the entrance of the apartment building. I just…lost it.

I dragged him back up to the apartment and started yelling. I can’t remember what I said. I was just so mad. He said I was overreacting because we never agreed on being exclusive and he didn’t know why I was so upset. I was nothing to him. So, I packed my shit and left. I was too embarrassed to tell anyone what had happened—that I thought I was in a real relationship with a guy when he was just in it for the sex… 

So yeah, that’s what happened in Stockholm.”

Makoto blinked, stunned to silence for a minute. Haru was always the independent, confident one, so the thought of him being so vulnerable and embarrassed about a failed relationship made him need to support him even more. Even Haru needed to feel needed.

“Haru—Haru look at me,” Makoto said, taking his hand and smoothing it with his thumb.

He stopped playing with the hem of his shirt and reluctantly looked up.

“You are so perfect in every way,” he soothed. “No man who wants you to change for them deserves you. I’m so sorry this happened to you.”

Haru sighed, releasing whatever negative energy he had been holding for god knows how long.

“It’s okay. I had to go through it to realize I needed to come home to you,” he said.

Makoto was speechless. All he could do was envelop Haru in his arms tighter. He buried his face in his silky black hair and kissed the crown of his head.

“Don’t ever change for me. Promise,” Makoto murmured. 

“I promise,” Haru whispered.

He rested his chin on Makoto’s chest so he could look at the face of his gentle giant.

“I love you,” Makoto said.

Haru’s eyes softened and broke into a bright smile.

“Love you too,” he said. 

They met with a sweet, chaste kiss. Makoto ran his hands up and down his lover’s back until he felt every muscle soften under his touch.

“I don’t have much experience…” he started after they parted. “…and I will probably mess up a lot, but would you be my boyfriend?”

Haru snorted a laugh.

“Idiot,” he said, kissing him again.

“Is that a yes?” Makoto asked.

Haru gave him a look that read, _wow, you’re so dense_ , in the most loving way.

“Yes,” he answered.

Even with the lights off, he could feel Haru blushing, and Makoto had never felt this happy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm killing myself with fluff. Stay tuned for ~spicier~ content.


	14. Know You Well

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Haru settles back into life with Makoto just as Nagisa summons all his friends for a big announcement.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sexy times ensues

Haru woke up late in the afternoon, his brain still fucked over by the jetlag. After several days of dreading waking up every morning, something in his subconscious knew that this time was different. The sun was full and shining behind the blackout curtains, and he was nestled in Makoto’s pillows and blankets, swallowed in Makoto’s shirt. But where was Makoto?

He sat up and stretched. He could smell something smokey coming from the kitchen, so he got up to investigate. His stomach was growling and unhappy from only eating pizza in the past 24 hours. In the kitchen, Makoto was making scrambled eggs (one of the only recipes he could actually cook) despite it being nearly 2 p.m. He had his back to him, but Haru could tell by the way his shoulders were hunched over the pan that Makoto was super focused on what he was doing—probably because he had burned too many eggs in the past.

Makoto's focusing was too adorable, so Haru slid close to him, wrapping his arms around his boyfriend’s middle and burying his face in his back in between his shoulder blades.

Makoto jumped and let out a small squeak. Haru hid his smile in his tense back. Makoto was always so jumpy.

“Ah! Haru! you snuck up on me…” he said, spinning around in his arms to face him.

Haru looked up at him expectantly until he got his good morning (or afternoon) kiss. Makoto smiled sweetly and humored him, leaning down to place a gentle kiss on his soft lips. Makoto had hardly done anything, but he was already blushing like an idiot. He turned his head toward the sizzling grill.

“What are you making?” he asked.

“Well, you wouldn’t wake up this morning so I figured you would want some breakfast. Want some eggs and bacon?”

He gestured to the pan of eggs and the bacon on the grill.

“The bacon is burning,” Haru deadpanned.

The kitchen was beginning to smell like smoke as the bacon quickly turned black on the overheated grill. Makoto whipped around to assess the damage.

“Damn it! I take my eyes off you for one second!” He complained to the offending burnt meat.

As if on cue the smoke alarm went off, and Haru covered his ears. This was why Haru always insisted on making breakfast. The next half hour was spent waving the smoke out of the apartment and Makoto profusely apologizing to his next-door neighbor whose baby had woken up to all the commotion.

 _What am I going to do with you?_ Haru thought, but he couldn’t help but smile. He had signed up for this after all.

Fortunately, the eggs were still edible.

Later in the afternoon, while they were cuddling on the couch, Makoto got a text from Nagisa’s group chat summoning them to their old favorite dinner spot. Of course, Haru forgot his phone at the hotel, so Makoto answered yes for both of them. Haru, still drowsy and jet-lagged, didn’t protest, content on taking a nap on his boyfriend’s chest while he gave him back rubs before they had to leave.

Haru wasn’t as enthusiastic about seeing his energetic friends. He would probably get scolded for leaving Makoto alone to eat out his feelings via frozen chicken nuggets and chocolate milkshakes, but he accepted he had to deal with the consequences.

After a quick trip to the hotel to change into clothes that actually fit him, Haru and Makoto headed to _La Mer_ , a slightly fancier restaurant they used to go to for special occasions in college. And their grilled mackerel was amazing.

When they arrived, all of their friends were already there, waving to them from a table in the back.

“Haru-chan! You’re back!” Nagisa shouted, popping up from his seat to give him a hug.

Haru sighed. He would allow Nagisa to hang off of him this one time.

“You had us worried there for a while,” Rei said, grabbing his boyfriend’s shirt and dragging him back down to his seat.

Haru sat down next to Makoto at the table, and he took his hand and squeezed it.

“I’m sorry,” Haru said both to his friends and Makoto, but he already knew Makoto had forgiven him.

“We’re glad you’re back,” Asahi said.

“Yeah and you two seemed to have made up,” Kisumi said wiggling his eyebrows.

Haru felt his eyebrow twitch.

“That’s none of your business you—”

Makoto cut him off by kicking him in the ankle. Haru doubled over and held his injured leg under the table.

“Hey! What are you guys going to order? I’m starving,” Makoto said innocently. 

“I say we get a round of drinks first. Rei is buying!” Nagisa shouted cheerfully.

“Wha—?! I did not agree to such terms!” Rei protested.

Too late. Nagisa had already flagged the waiter and ordered them a bottle of sake to share.

After a bit of squabbling from the two, the sake cups were passed around the table.

“Kanpai!” They all cheered and knocked back their drinks.

The alcohol went down smoothly, making Haru wonder how expensive this bottle was. It was probably way more than the bottom shelf stuff he and Nagisa used to get hammered on in college.

“Anyway, you are all probably wondering about the purpose of this sudden gathering,” Rei said with his arm around his boyfriend. “Nagisa and I have some news…”

Nagisa shot up from his seat and displayed his left hand to the table. On his ring finger was a beautiful diamond band.

“Ta-da!” He shouted. “He put a ring on it, bitches!”

Everyone gasped in excitement and shock. Haru looked to smiling Makoto as he clapped.

“Congrats you two,” Makoto said.

Asahi got in closer to examine the ring.

“Oooh! He got that ice!” he marveled.

“So pretty! I want one,” Kisumi said.

Asahi’s face drained of color in a split second. There was no way he could afford a diamond like that for his boyfriend.

“Now hold on!” he protested, and everyone at the table laughed.

For the rest of the meal, the group chatted about wedding ideas, which made Haru’s head spin. Nagisa wanted to ride a unicorn down the aisle. A unicorn. Weddings seemed too troublesome to him, but when he held Makoto’s hand under the table, he imagined a ring on his finger—his ring.

The room suddenly became hot and stuffy, and Makoto must have felt Haru getting antsy, so they bid their friends goodbye even though they were skipping dessert. They stepped out into the cool night air, and Haru was finally able to breathe.

“Wow I can’t believe Nagisa and Rei are engaged,” Makoto said as they started walking back to the apartment.

“Yeah,” he replied flatly.

There was a beat of silence when neither of them knew what to say. They both knew that they wanted to be together for as long as they possibly could, but they weren’t ready for marriage yet. Still, Haru wished there was something he could do to make their relationship solid.

Makoto stopped in front of a food stall selling cream bread and other treats. Nothing could get past Makoto’s sweet tooth.

“Do you want anything?” he asked.

“I’m fine,” he said still lost in thought.

As he ordered, Haru caught a glimpse of a jewelry store across the street. Then he got an idea.

“Wait here,” Haru said as Makoto sat down on a bench to eat his sweet bun.

“Haru? Where are you going?” he said concerned.

He gave him an assuring look.

“I’ll be back in a sec,” he said.

He knew couple’s rings were becoming a popular trend in Japan, but he wasn’t sure Makoto would be into it. Still, he couldn’t get the image of him wearing a ring out of his head. It was a mark that he was truly his no matter where they were.

When he entered, the store was empty except for a sales lady organizing things behind the counter. Haru examined the different fancy and somewhat gaudy rings in the display case, disappointed he may have to leave the store empty handed.

“Looking for something in particular?” The sales lady asked.

“Something simple would be nice,” he said.

“Your girlfriend not a fan of diamonds?” she asked.

“Boyfriend,” he corrected. “And no, he’s not into fancy things.”

“I see. You may be interested in this collection, then,” she said.

She pulled a display from a drawer of simple bands. These were much more their style, Haru thought. 

He picked out a gold band with a simple but elegant design of the sun etched into the center for Makoto and a thin silver ring with wave designs for himself. Looking at them together in the velvet box suited their different personalities well, but they still worked together.

By the time Haru got back to Makoto’s bench, he was done eating his dessert and looking at him slightly confused at the sight of him carrying a bag with a jewelry store logo on the front.

“You were gone for a while,” he said.

“Sorry. I got held up,” he said sitting back down next to him.

He opened the bag, pulled out the velvet box and gave it to him.

“Haru, what’s this?” he asked.

Makoto opened the box, revealing the two rings inside.

“I want Makoto to know he’ll always be Haru’s,” he said softly.

Makoto snapped out of his initial shock and smiled.

“I don’t need a ring to know that,” he said.

“I want other people to know too…” Haru said.

“Aww!” Makoto cooed.

“…So that they stop hitting on you,” he finished.

Makoto laughed.

“Jealous are we?” he said with a sly grin.

Haru decided not to answer that and took the gold ring from its place on the silk pillow and prayed he had gotten the correct size. He placed Makoto’s hand in his and slid the ring on his left hand, perfectly fitting on his ring finger.

“It’s perfect,” Makoto mused.

“You’re perfect,” Haru mumbled bashfully.

“Hardly!” he laughed, admiring his hand with the ring on. “Now you.”

Makoto’s hands were warm, and the ring was cool when it slid down his finger, but his whole body heated up as he blushed.

“It looks so pretty on you, Haru-chan,” he said.

Haru blushed even harder.

“Drop the -chan”

_It does on you too._

***

When Haru and Makoto were little, they were inseparable — joined at the hip, Makoto’s mother would joke. Growing up, Makoto was always the clingy one, hiding behind his back when he got scared (even after Makoto’s growth spurt left him towering over his stoic friend). At school, if Makoto got picked to be on one basketball team during gym class, Haru always was included as a package deal—even if he was one of the shortest guys on the team and terrible at any sport not involving water.

In a way, they still were joined at the hip, but Haru knew his time away from Makoto only made his gravitational pull toward him stronger. He knew life without Makoto now, and that was a life he was not interested in.

As he thought of this, he heard the faint sound of Makoto humming in the shower. He was so cute like that. Now Haru felt like the clingy one—not wanting to spend another second without him by his side. He stopped playing with his new ring and walked to the bathroom. Steam was coming from the door—probably because Makoto liked to take hot showers that made Haru wonder how his skin hadn’t melted off yet. He slipped through the door, removing articles of clothing with every step.

Makoto was still humming, blissfully unaware that his boyfriend had snuck in behind him in the shower. The sight of water dripping down Makoto’s muscular back sent Haru’s poor gay heart into near cardiac arrest. He reached out and gently touched the center of said back.

Makoto gasped and spun around, screaming bloody murder and nearly snatching the shower curtain off the hooks trying to cover himself.

“Hi” Haru deadpanned.

Makoto, realizing there wasn’t an ax murderer in the shower, dropped the curtain with a huff.

“Haruka! What are you doing?!” He whined.

Haru didn’t answer because he didn’t exactly know what he was doing. Instead, he shuffled forward and smooshed his face into his boyfriend’s chest, taking in the sweet scent of his citrus body wash. Makoto sighed and wrapped his arms around his lithe frame.

“Were you lonely Haru-chan?” he asked.

“Drop the -chan,” he said, grateful Makoto couldn’t see him blush.

Makoto chuckled, placing his hands on either side of his face to turn it up toward his. Their kiss was tender and slow. He knew Makoto wanted more, but there was no rush.

“I want to do Haru-chan’s hair,” he said after they parted, and Haru smiled.

 _So cute_ , he thought.

The shower was cramped, but they made it work. He shuffled in front of his boyfriend as he poured the shampoo in his hand. Makoto’s fingers running through his hair and massaging his scalp left goosebumps up his neck.

He was so gentle with him—like always—but Haru wondered what it would be like if Makoto pulled his hair. That thought awakened a hungrier part of him that had laid dormant for a while. He let out a soft moan and leaned back into his touch, tilting his head back to expose the white column of his neck. Makoto seemed to enjoy this, judging by his hardening cock pressing against his backside.

Makoto leaned down and kissed his neck, scraping it lightly with his teeth. He knew all too well this drove Haru crazy. He may have been sweet on the outside, but Makoto was a horrible tease. Haru let out a frustrated whine and then intentionally backed himself into his lover so there was no space left between them. 

“I missed you,” Makoto murmured into the juncture of his neck and jawline.

The rasp in his voice made him gasp a little. How was this man so cute but so _sexy_? Haru felt like he was about to implode.

“How much did you miss me?” he asked with a smirk.

He felt Makoto smile against his neck before he bared his teeth and bit down on the sensitive skin there. They had been so careful before not to leave any marks, but it seemed like all caution flew out the door for them now. As he was laving away the painful mark, Makoto snuck his hand down his back to his ass and squeezed.

“A lot,” he replied.

Haru’s heart soared. He craned his neck back to capture his boyfriend’s lips in a passionate kiss. Makoto moved his other hand from his hair down to his nipple and pinched it, making Haru jump.

“That’s for not calling me back,” Makoto said playfully.

“Fair,” he smirked. “You should punish me.”

Makoto wasn’t the only one who could tease. Haru smiled at Makoto’s blushing face and ears, no doubt thinking of what “punishment” would suit his crime. But he didn’t want to get into that now.

“Haruuuu” Makoto huffed, burying his face back into his neck with embarrassment.

He got his payback when he teased a finger around his rim, making his breath hitch.

“Does that feel good?” he asked almost innocently as he slowly drew his finger in and out.

Haru was writhing in his grasp, but Makoto held him still with a strong arm across his waist. He buried his finger deeper inside him, curling it up so it hit that bundle of nerves that made him weak.

“Yes…more…fingers,” Haru gasped.

Makoto obliged, murmuring sweet nothings into his ear in between kissing up the side of his neck to his ear. He added a second finger and then a third. Haru’s eyes blinked closed with pleasure. 

“Mako…” he moaned, knees starting to tremble. He didn’t want to come like this yet.

“Yes, my love,” he said.

Reluctantly, he grabbed Makoto’s hand and pulled his fingers out of him so that he could turn to face his lover. They shared a passionate, desperate kiss that almost made him want to finish at that moment.

“I want you,” Haru whispered against his lips. “I want all of you.”

Makoto gasped and pulled back, hands tightening around his waist.

“You…you want to go all the way?” he asked.

Haru nodded.

Makoto was always the one who boasted he could read his seemingly indistinguishable emotions, but now Haru was the one watching Makoto flit through at least ten expressions all at once, and it was quite amusing. He could tell that overall, he was excited but nervous.

“We don’t have to if you don’t want to…” Haru started but was cut off by his boyfriend lifting him and crashing through the shower curtain, not even bothering towel down or turn off the shower.

“Mak—hey! You’re going to slip and break something, idiot,” Haru shouted.

Makoto ignored him and carried him over to the sink and parked him on top of the counter.

“I want to do it,” he said with the cutest look of determination on his face.

“Idiot,” Haru muttered as he kissed him again.

This time with the shower turned off and sufficiently dried off, they sank into Makoto’s bed, not wanting to break their kisses. Makoto cradled his head in his large hands as Haru lay down in a nest of pillows.

“I love you, Haruka,” he murmured as he kissed him softly.

Haru couldn’t help but smile one of his rare smiles only meant for Makoto. He needed Makoto more than anything in the entire world—even more than water.

“I love you too,” was all he could manage to say, but for Makoto, it was more than enough.

They took it slow. Haru made a game of running his hands up Makoto’s spine knob by knob, feeling him grow more flustered the higher he went. Makoto’s kisses were languid, and his hands caressed up and down his thighs to a point where he wondered if he was stalling. He was all for taking their time, but he guessed Makoto would need a little push to move on from the foreplay.

“Do you have lube?” Haru asked when their lips parted for a second.

Makoto blinked a few times as if he were waking up from a trance before comprehending his question.

“Oh! Yes! I just have to find…” he said, leaning over the bed to dig through his bedside table.

Of course, the drawers were a mess, so Haru started over with his spinal game, smoothing his hand over the newly exposed expanse of Makoto’s back. He started at the base of the spine, close to the tailbone and slowly made his way up again. He watched with pride as the goosebumps appeared under his fingers.

This only slowed the process down because Makoto’s brain was clearly scrambled while he did this, but Haru didn’t care.

“Hah! Found it!” Makoto shouted triumphantly after a bit.

Haru couldn’t help but laugh. He was holding the lube and condoms they had bought back in Iwatobi (just in case) like a trophy.

“Don’t patronize me, Haruka,” he said, playfully pushing his shoulder.

“I’m sorry,” he chuckled. “Come here.”

He reached out to his lover and he snuggled on top of his chest, Haru wrapping his arms around him. Makoto kissed his collarbone and played with his nipple, making Haru’s chest blush red.

“You have no idea how long I’ve wanted this,” he whispered, kissing him gently.

Haru sighed against his lips and combed his fingers through his sandy brown hair.

“I think I do,” he said, which made Makoto smile.

Haru reached a hand down to the bottle of lube and flipped the cap open. He guided Makoto’s hand with the other and poured a generous amount onto his fingers. Makoto blushed to the tips of his hair, but one look into Haru’s deep blue eyes lit the passion again.

“Spread your legs,” Makoto said in a low, raspy voice.

Haru bit his lip and did what he was told.

Makoto circled his rim again, only this time the sensation was much more visceral. The first finger slid in easily, and by the time Makoto inserted the second and third, he was canting his hips against him, trying to get the sweet friction that drove him wild. Makoto seemed to always edge on Haru’s spot, close enough to feel good, but not enough to orgasm.

“Mako…I’m ready,” he moaned as those fingers edged him again.

His cock was painfully hard and dripping, and Makoto’s was the same. He hadn’t even touched him yet, but he enjoyed unraveling Haru so much he could get off on it.

“Okay,” Makoto said, giving him a peck on the lips before pulling out and fishing a condom out of the unopened box.

He dug through the variety pack for an extra large and fumbled the wrapper. He was getting embarrassed again.

“My hands are slippery,” he said.

Haru smiled gently. He was so adorable.

“I know, sweetheart. Here,” he said, sitting up to take the wrapper and ripping it with his teeth.

“Damn,” Makoto muttered.

Haru didn’t consider himself to be particularly sexy, but he could try, and Makoto was easy to please. He reached down to stroke his cock, his large girth making his mouth water—Okay, maybe he was a bit of a size queen. He spread a bead of precum over the tip with his thumb, sending Makoto thrusting into his hand. Haru would have loved to make his lover come like this, but he had to focus. He rolled the condom onto Makoto’s cock, making him whimper for any small amount of friction.

They met with a searing kiss, Makoto pushing him roughly back onto the bed. Haru liked this rougher side of Makoto, nipping his bottom lip. That seemed to set Makoto off because then he grabbed his legs and pushed them back. It was a good thing he was flexible. Makoto hovered over him now, their lips only inches apart, breathing in each other’s hot breath.

“Haruka is so beautiful,” Makoto whispered.

His cock was lined up at his entrance as he pressed him further in half. Every inch of him was trembling with anticipation.

“Shut up before I change my mind,” Haru said as an empty threat.

There was no way in hell he would change his mind, but that seemed to motivate Makoto. Without warning, he pushed his entire cock into him. Haru choked and gripped the sheets for dear life.

“Nngh!” he cried, tears prickling his eyes.

“Oh god! I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean—do you want me to pull out?” Makoto cried frantically.

Haru held his breath. Makoto was the biggest he has ever taken, and the pain of being stretched so suddenly made him want to howl, but he didn’t want to stop.

“No. Just…stay here,” he grunted, hiding his face in a pillow.

Makoto peppered his face and neck with kisses until he was able to relax. He was overwhelmed by the affection and the fullness he felt with Makoto inside of him.

“You can move now,” he murmured.

“Okay,” Makoto whispered and kissed his lips deeply as he shifted back and then forward again.

They moaned together. The sensation was both too much and not enough.

Makoto was going painfully slow, watching Haru’s face for any sign of alarm. It was clear he wasn’t going to go any faster without Haru’s permission, even if he did look like he was about to explode if he didn’t pick up the pace.

“Harder,” he rasped.

Makoto breathed a curse into his neck and hiked his legs higher over his shoulders. The next rough thrust had Haru slack-jawed and seeing stars. He liked this new angle.

The room filled with Haru’s incoherent cries as Makoto unrelentingly pounded into him, tearing his nerves apart. Makoto’s breaths were ragged in Haru’s ear, letting out a cross between a grunt and a moan at every thrust. Haru grabbed his lover’s face and gave him open mouth kisses. He wanted Makoto’s sounds to be inside of him too.

“I swear…t-to goddd… _oh_ … I’ll n-never leave you again,” he moaned.

Makoto pinned his wrists above his head with one large hand and palmed his hard, leaking cock with the other. Haru wailed, sweat and tears running down his face.

“Good. Because I won’t let you,” Makoto growled in an uncharacteristically possessive voice.

That was enough to send him over the edge.

“Mako!” he cried as he came harder than he had ever come in his life.

All of the emotions he carefully kept hidden from the world exploded out at once. It left him trembling and raw and vulnerable, but he knew Makoto would protect him. He trusted him with his life.

Makoto stroked him through his orgasm and then set on catching up with him at breakneck speed.

“God—Har— _ugh_ —so tight,” he moaned brokenly.

He was pounding so fast into him that the bed shook and groaned. He was pulling all the way out and then slamming back in directly on Haru’s good spot. Haru was completely overstimulated, fresh tears pouring from his eyes, fingers scraping at Makoto’s back and shoulders. He needed him to finish _now_.

“Makoto, please” He begged, voice trembling. “Please…please…please…”

Without warning, Haru’s back arched, mouth open in a silent scream as he came a second time.

“ _Fuck_ ” Makoto gasped as he watched him.

He gave three last erratic thrusts before reaching his climax, moaning loudly into the juncture of Haru’s neck and shoulder.

They lay there panting for a while, their bodies too weak to move. Makoto was heavy on top of him, but Haru didn’t care. This was the best fucking day of his life.

After a while, Makoto pushed himself onto his side, gingerly pulling out of him and chucking the used condom near the trash. Haru’s backside was sore. He was probably going to have trouble sitting tomorrow.

“You okay, baby?” Makoto asked, brushing back Haru’s sweaty bangs from his eyes. “You’re crying.”

He subconsciously wiped the tears from his face.

“I’m fine,” he said softly.

Slowly he rolled onto his side so that he could face the man he loved more than the sea. He kissed him gently and slowly.

“Now you know all of me,” Haru whispered as they parted.

Makoto smiled and kissed his forehead. Haru blinked sleepily.

“Yes,” He said. “I’d say I know you well. More than anyone in the universe.”

Haru chuckled softly, stars in his eyes.

“I love you,” Makoto said.

Haru gave him one last lingering kiss before dozing off.

“I love you too.” 


	15. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Haru and Makoto look forward to their future together years after they first got together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We've made it to the last chapter! I hope you have as much fun reading as I had writing it! :)

When Makoto looked at himself in the mirror, he always half expected to see himself as he was back in high school—scruffy, sandy brown hair, goofy smile, wearing his Iwatobi swim club jacket proudly. After all, he discovered himself and his dream in high school. Now he was a fully realized adult (somewhat. He still couldn’t cook for shit). He may be a little taller, his hair a bit more tamed since Haru started cutting it, a few years wiser, but he was still the same Makoto.

He had replaced his Iwatobi jacket for the red and white Team Japan uniform. His name was embroidered on the front—Tachibana Makoto, Coach. It had been three years since he had become part of Haru’s coaching staff, and he loved every minute of it. He was finally following his dream, and he was helping Haru realize his too. They went everywhere together, exploring the world and taking it by storm. Makoto had always thought Haru had enough free spirit in him for the both of them, but he learned that he enjoyed being free too.

Now when he looked in the mirror, he was finally happy with the person who stared back at him. After all, Haru made sure to remind him that he was loved every day in the myriad of ways Haru showed love. Like in the suit Haru had picked out for him. It was much nicer than he would have gotten, but he had to admit, Haru had good taste.

“Your tie is crooked,” Haru said, appearing behind him in the mirror’s reflection.

“Oh, thanks Haru-chan,” he said as Haru adjusted the earth-colored fabric so that it lay perfectly against his ivory dress shirt.

Haru had since given up on telling him to “drop the -chan” but in return, he had created his own pet names for him that he doled out at the most inconvenient times, like the time he called him “sweet buns” in front of a group of reporters. Being with Haru was sometimes a sweet kind of torture.

Haru picked a piece of lint from his olive-green blazar with his delicate fingers, his couple’s ring catching in the afternoon light. Makoto smiled, remembering that night they had exchanged rings. The gold and silver bands were a bit faded with time now, and Makoto may have accidentally lost his down the drain a couple of times (he learned quickly how to use a hanger to fish it out before Haru noticed) but being by Haru’s side still gave him the nervous butterflies.

It didn’t help that Haru was so frickin’ gorgeous. His style had gotten bolder over the years as he got more and more modeling jobs. He even did a few photoshoots in dresses. Now he adjusted the sheer sleeves of his royal blue blouse. He strung the pearl necklace Makoto had gotten him on their third anniversary just a few months ago under his peter pan collar and admired himself in the mirror.

“You look beautiful,” Makoto said, leaning down to kiss him on the cheek.

He saw a hint of a blush creep up Haru’s cheeks. He smiled at him through the mirror as he touched up his eyeliner. The smokey eyeshadow made his blue eyes even more striking.

Makoto checked Rolex on his wrist. Haru just had to one-up him on the anniversary gift this year, but he wasn’t mad. He had never owned anything this nice before.

“We better go if we want to get to the service early,” he said.

Haru was still in front of the mirror trying to get a rogue eyelash out of his eye, in no hurry at all.

“Why can’t we just show up when everyone else shows up?” He asked.

“We’re the best men remember?” Makoto said.

“I don’t remember ‘getting to the wedding two hours early’ a requirement for being best man,” Haru grumbled.

“Well, it can’t hurt,” Makoto said, taking Haru’s arm and gently coaxing him toward the door.

Nagisa had begged Haru to be his best man, and he initially refused…about ten times…but Nagisa was as persistent as Haru was stubborn. Makoto, on the other hand, gladly agreed to be Rei’s best man, so Nagisa pointed out that if Haru said no one more time, he would pick Kisumi to take his place, meaning Makoto and Kisumi would walk down the aisle together, and Haru could _not_ have that.

Makoto reminded him that he would never fall for anyone else, but Haru’s old jealous habits die hard, and honestly, it was pretty cute.

“Alright,” Haru sighed.

Makoto smiled, leaning down to place a kiss on his lips. He still couldn’t believe that this was his life now, that he could kiss Haru like this every day.

“Thank you,” he said when they parted.

Haru rolled his eyes.

_Idiot._

Makoto was basically telepathic at this point.

When they got to the wedding venue, the scene was chaos. Nagisa’s sisters were all fussing over their baby brother, fighting over how his hair looked, which Nagisa was not happy with. Meanwhile, Rei was having a full-blown panic attack in the men’s bathroom and had not come out for half an hour.

Makoto took a breath.

“Alright, you go deal with Nagisa. I’ll try to calm Rei down,” he said.

Haru took one peek into the bridal suite and his face twisted in horror. The women were now all yelling at each other as Nagisa sobbed in his vanity chair.

“My wedding is ruined!” He cried, mascara running down his face. 

“I’m not going in there,” he said, crossing his arms at his chest.

“Would you rather deal with Rei?” Makoto asked with his eyebrow raised.

Just then they hard Rei’s maniacal laughter coming from the bathroom door followed by him shouting incoherent calculations.

Haru sighed.

“I’ll fix Nagisa’s hair,” he grumbled in defeat.

The rest of the afternoon was a whirlwind as Makoto and Haru pulled the husbands-to-be together. It came down to the wire. Makoto stood at the entrance to the aisle alone, hoping to the gods that Haru would show up in time for them to walk. The music started and Makoto started to panic. What should he do? He couldn’t go out there by himself!

Just when he thought he would have to suck it up and take the awkward stares from the crowd of waiting people outside, Nagisa dashed from the bridal suite, Haru in tow holding reams of fabric from Nagisa’s dress so it wouldn’t touch the ground.

He had to admit, Haru solved Nagisa’s hair situation pretty well with the strategic use of barrettes, but he couldn’t have cut it any closer.

He scurried to Makoto’s side

“Haru, your bouquet!” one of Nagisa’s sisters whispered.

“Shit” Haru hissed.

The sister lobbed the flowers into the air like a football, but it was out of Haru’s reach. Makoto caught it with one hand and passed it to his lover.

“Thanks,” Haru breathed.

He straightened his rumpled blouse and fluffed the hydrangeas back into shape. Makoto held out his arm as the marching music began to play.

“Shall we?” he said with a warm smile.

Haru took his arm.

“Let’s do this.”

Nagisa and Rei’s wedding service was a bit over the top, but still very sweet. Though there were no unicorns, Nagisa did get to walk down the aisle in a designer ivory ballgown with an impossibly long train. All of Nagisa’s sisters cried as they gave their baby brother away. Being the softie Makoto was, he found himself wiping away tears when they gave their vows under an archway of pink roses and purple silk butterflies. Haru had smiled up at him as he quietly sobbed and patted his knee in consolation.

Soon the grooms sealed their marriage with a kiss, and everyone moved on to the reception next door. The reception hall was lit with fairy lights and tea candles, which went well with the fairytale theme of the wedding. Makoto wondered what the theme of his and Haru’s wedding would be.

He was interrupted from that thought by the DJ announcing on the loudspeaker.

“Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the newlyweds, Rei and Nagisa Ryuugazaki-Hazuki,” he said dramatically as the newlyweds rushed into the hall as confetti showered on them.

“What a mouthful of a name,” he heard Asahi say from behind.

“They couldn’t pick one, so they used both,” Kisumi said.

“At least they didn’t combine them,” Rin quipped.

“Good god, they thought about doing that?” Asahi said.

As his friends contemplated the different combinations of last names, Makoto wondered if Haru would take his last name if they got married. Or would he take his? He didn’t really care, as long as they were together, but Tachibana Haruka had a ring to it…

Haru snapped him out of his daydream when he held a flute of champagne in his face.

“Here, I don’t want mine,” he said.

Haru refused to go anywhere near alcohol since Nagisa’s bachelor party turned into a 48-hour bender that ended with Haru and Nagisa hitching a ride on a school bus to get to the rehearsal dinner on time.

“This is why you should never do shrooms with Nagisa,” Haru had said lying face-first on the floor when he got back from the whole ordeal.

Makoto almost felt bad that Haru had picked the short straw in the stack to go to Nagisa’s party instead of Rei’s. Almost.

He gladly took the drink, because he was going to need it to get through this wedding. It was hard enough daydreaming about getting married to Haru on a daily basis, but now he got to see all the tiny details of it. What flowers they would get, the table settings, the little napkins! He was getting way ahead of himself. He hadn’t even proposed yet.

After their first dance and making their rounds tanking all the guests at all the tables, Nagisa and Rei finally plopped down in their seats next to the best men and their closest friends.

“Congratulations, you two!” Makoto said.

“Thank you! We may have had a few hiccups, but everything turned out perfect,” Rei said.

“Haru came through with the hair styling,” Nagisa said. “Mako-chan is so lucky to have him.”

Haru shrugged bashfully and Makoto smiled. He really was so lucky. 

“So, when are you and Haru going to get married?” Nagisa asked him.

Makoto choked on his drink. He felt Haru’s eyes burning on him. It was true he procrastinated a tiny bit on proposing to Haru, but he just wanted it to be perfect.

He thought he would propose while they were in Rome, but it rained on their date night. He tried again when they were in Vancouver, but he lost his passport, so they had to spend their free day in the embassy. He thought he would for sure do it during their week backpacking the Swiss Alps, but Makoto sprained his ankle the first day and Haru ended up carrying him five miles back down the mountain. Every time was such a disaster that he wondered if the universe was trying to keep them from getting married at all. Haru would tell him he was being too superstitious, but honestly, he was now too afraid to ask. 

“Let’s not get too far ahead of ourselves here,” he said nervously. 

“Oooh Makoto, you’re in trouble now,” Asahi chided.

Haru was still glaring at him, but he broke character for a split second, one corner of his lips twitching upward. That’s when Makoto knew he was just pulling his leg in front of his friends. Unbelievable.

The music shifted to a slow dance and the DJ came back on the mic.

“We have a special request from the grooms that the best men have this dance,” He announced. “Haruka Nanase and Makoto Tachibana come on down!”

“Wait…what?” Makoto said bewildered.

“I swear to fucking god Nagisa…” Haru mumbled grumpily.

“You heard him! Get up there!” Nagisa encouraged.

“No,” Haru deadpanned.

After winning three gold medals at the Tokyo Olympics, Haru had (unwillingly) become a celebrity. Despite Haru’s experience being in front of the camera at the Olympics and subject of many modeling gigs and even on some magazine covers, he was still uncomfortable being in the spotlight for too long. After a long day of interviews or posing in uncomfortable positions in uncomfortable clothes, Haru always came back home drained and in need of cozy cuddles while he hid under his blankets. Makoto found that cuddly Haru was his favorite.

“Just do the fucking dance, Nanase,” Rin groaned.

“I’m not going up with everyone watching,” he protested.

“The music is starting…” Nagisa warned in a sing-song voice.

“I’m really bad at dancing!” Makoto cried.

“Yeah, dude couldn’t even do the Cha-cha Slide,” Asahi said.

“Makoto…the directions are in the song,” Rei said.

“Shut up! I tried, Okay!” He protested.

Sometimes his friends were just mean.

“I’m not doing it,” Haru resolved, crossing his arms across his chest.

“I can’t believe you two are ruining my wedding!” Nagisa warbled, crocodile tears forming.

The couple looked from Nagisa to each other, sharing a resigned look, and then back to Nagisa. The last thing they needed was to be known as the couple that made the groom cry at his own wedding.

“I hate you,” Haru mumbled as he grabbed Makoto’s hand and sulked toward the dance floor.

There was a spat of slow clapping as they stood like awkward kids at the middle school dance. No one knew what was going on, especially not Makoto. They spun to face each other, and his hand found Haru’s waist as they began to sway to the opening lines of the music.

_We can leave the Christmas lights up ‘till January_

_This is our place. We make the rules…_

“Is this Taylor Swift? Really?” Makoto groaned.

“Embarrassing,” Haru mumbled grumpily.

Makoto accidentally stepped on Haru’s foot in a horrible attempt to lead in the dance, but Haru was patient with him, as always. It wasn’t his fault he was born with two left feet.

“We need to get back at them at our wedding,” he said.

“We should just elope,” Haru said, already 1000 percent done with all of this.

“What?! Haru!” Makoto protested.

“I’m serious,” Haru said. “This is so troublesome.”

“Oh, so you don’t think I’m worth the trouble,” Makoto said sarcastically.

“You know that’s not what I said,” he said.

Makoto extended his arm out and Haru spun around under it haphazardly.

“Though, I’d be lying if I said I haven’t thought of it,” Makoto said after they came back together.

Haru raised a curious eyebrow.

“But wouldn’t you want all your family and friends to be there?” Makoto quickly pointed out.

“Maybe… but wouldn’t you want to have our first dance just the two of us? Plus, we could go wherever we want. We could get married in a waterfall!” Haru said excitedly.

He didn’t want to crush Haru’s dreams of waterfalls just yet. It wasn’t too long ago that Nagisa talked about riding a unicorn down the aisle, after all. Rei was eventually able to talk some sense into him.

“You make a very good case, Haru-chan,” Makoto said with a sly smile.

“I am very persuasive,” he smirked back.

Makoto laughed.

“I am aware,” he said.

The song ended with another bout of awkward clapping from the audience and cheers from Nagisa.

“Want to get some air?” he asked.

Haru shrugged.

He mouthed “be right back” to Nagisa and he tipped his martini glass toward him like Gatsby, whatever that was supposed to mean.

They leaned on the railing overlooking the city lights at the bottom of the mountain and then further out to sea. Haru had a distant expression on his face as he stared out into the darkness.

“Everything okay?” Makoto asked.

“I’m fine. Just thinking,” he said.

He leaned closer into him so that their shoulder touched. Haru returned the gesture and placed his hand on top of his on the railing.

“What about?” he asked.

Haru gazed up at the night sky. He knew the stars were there, but they were hidden by the city’s light pollution. That was one of the many things he and Makoto missed about Iwatobi.

“I may retire soon,” he said.

“Ehhh? But you’re not that old,” Makoto said in surprise.

“You try racing against a bunch of college kids,” Haru protested.

“Sorry, sorry,” Makoto chuckled.

Haru playfully bumped him in the shoulder in an empty protest. Haru was one of the oldest swimmers on the Japanese team now, but not by a lot. It was fun to watch the younger swimmers fawn over Haru while also being kind of terrified of him. Haru did look intimidating if you didn’t know how to read him.

“Besides, it wouldn’t hurt to settle down,” Haru continued.

“No, it wouldn’t,” Makoto agreed. “We could get a nice house on the ocean…”

“Have a couple of kids…” he said with a soft smile.

Makoto blushed. He thought of the sound of tiny feet running through their home—how adorable it would be seeing Haru rock their child to sleep.

“Haru…” he murmured in awe.

“…Or five,” Haru added.

“Five?!” he wheezed.

He had no idea if Haru was joking or not, but he couldn’t dwell on that thought for too long because Haru let out the sweetest laugh.

Makoto sighed.

“What am I going to do with you?” he said, leaning his forehead on Haru’s.

Haru gave him a soft peck on his cheek.

“We have plenty of time,” he said, squeezing his hand in assurance.

Makoto smiled, leaning down to capture his lips in a lingering kiss.

“All the time in the world,” Makoto said.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, the song Haru and Makoto danced to was "Lover" by TS. Leave it to Nagisa to give them the cheesy romantic ending they deserve lol  
> Wow, I can't believe that I made it this far. Thank you to everyone who read and left Kudos and comments. This was the longest fic I've written and it was truly a joy to work on.  
> It won't be the last though. I have other projects in the works ;))))


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